Can a 16yo watch a 12yo overnight, every night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assume the parent works overnight. What are your honest thoughts on a (mature, responsible) 16yo and a (mature, responsible) 12yo (both girls) watching themselves 3-4 days a week. The alternative is the parent loses their job, which is niche (think air traffic controller) and salary not easily found elsewhere without experience. Other parent not in picture.

No. It is not ok. A 16 yr old is still a child a she should not be put in a permanent situation where she is responsible for a younger sibling. You are putting the responsibility of HHI on a teenager and this is unconscionable.

This is parentification and unless it’s very short term and finite, not acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Legally, no, depending on state laws. You could get in trouble if anything happens. Small fire and the FD arrives to find no adult. Either child gets sick or injured and EMS discover no adult is present.

[Anonymous]

Not ideal - but many / most kids have not ideal circumstances in some way and it’s a trade off between worse options.

One option is to get something like the nannit monitor which you can look in on on your phone. Put cameras in whatever areas they hang out in and your 12yos room if they allow it. You can say goodnight, look in to make sure they got home, be notified if there was ever noise at unexpected times etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not a perfect solution but not unreasonable. You know your kids best. I would have been ok with my 16 year old doing this with a sibling.

My parents left me home alone for weeks as a junior in HS when my sibling in college had mental health issues. I was 17. I didn’t need to watch a younger sibling but I was 100% self sufficient for weeks on end. If both kids are mature I see no issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assume the parent works overnight. What are your honest thoughts on a (mature, responsible) 16yo and a (mature, responsible) 12yo (both girls) watching themselves 3-4 days a week. The alternative is the parent loses their job, which is niche (think air traffic controller) and salary not easily found elsewhere without experience. Other parent not in picture.

No. It is not ok. A 16 yr old is still a child a she should not be put in a permanent situation where she is responsible for a younger sibling. You are putting the responsibility of HHI on a teenager and this is unconscionable.

This is parentification and unless it’s very short term and finite, not acceptable.

Not ideal but likely single parent losing all or a significant portion of their income would leave everyone in a worse situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can the 16 year old handle an emergency? Would they sleep through a smoke alarm? If someone breaks into the house, how would he react? Most 16 can handle the simple issues, but an emergency could test their skills to the limit. Could a parent live with the worst case scenario?

I’m an adult and I wouldn’t handle a break-in with ease. It would be really freaking traumatic.

If that’s the standard to be home alone, none of the 40 and 50 year old parents in my neighborhood qualify to be in their own houses alone.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assume the parent works overnight. What are your honest thoughts on a (mature, responsible) 16yo and a (mature, responsible) 12yo (both girls) watching themselves 3-4 days a week. The alternative is the parent loses their job, which is niche (think air traffic controller) and salary not easily found elsewhere without experience. Other parent not in picture.

No. It is not ok. A 16 yr old is still a child a she should not be put in a permanent situation where she is responsible for a younger sibling. You are putting the responsibility of HHI on a teenager and this is unconscionable.

This is parentification and unless it’s very short term and finite, not acceptable.

Not ideal but likely single parent losing all or a significant portion of their income would leave everyone in a worse situation.

Tough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assume the parent works overnight. What are your honest thoughts on a (mature, responsible) 16yo and a (mature, responsible) 12yo (both girls) watching themselves 3-4 days a week. The alternative is the parent loses their job, which is niche (think air traffic controller) and salary not easily found elsewhere without experience. Other parent not in picture.

No. It is not ok. A 16 yr old is still a child a she should not be put in a permanent situation where she is responsible for a younger sibling. You are putting the responsibility of HHI on a teenager and this is unconscionable.

This is parentification and unless it’s very short term and finite, not acceptable.

Not ideal but likely single parent losing all or a significant portion of their income would leave everyone in a worse situation.

Tough.

So it would be better for them all to end up homeless?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a perfect solution but not unreasonable. You know your kids best. I would have been ok with my 16 year old doing this with a sibling.

My parents left me home alone for weeks as a junior in HS when my sibling in college had mental health issues. I was 17. I didn’t need to watch a younger sibling but I was 100% self sufficient for weeks on end. If both kids are mature I see no issue.

That's extremely different so not relevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What hours? Is the 16 year old expected to make / clean up dinner? Is she missing out on social / extracurricular opportunities to do this?

Is there a list of close neighbors / friends that could be called if something were to come up?

extracurricular? It's a great college hook.

[Anonymous]

Go to the teen forum and see what the kids do when left home alone. That alone would keep me from doing this.

[Anonymous]

Why can’t the parent just find a different employer. Is what you are proposing even legal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a perfect solution but not unreasonable. You know your kids best. I would have been ok with my 16 year old doing this with a sibling.

My parents left me home alone for weeks as a junior in HS when my sibling in college had mental health issues. I was 17. I didn’t need to watch a younger sibling but I was 100% self sufficient for weeks on end. If both kids are mature I see no issue.

Np. Just because you don't see an issue doesn't mean there isn't one. Sorry you were neglected

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assume the parent works overnight. What are your honest thoughts on a (mature, responsible) 16yo and a (mature, responsible) 12yo (both girls) watching themselves 3-4 days a week. The alternative is the parent loses their job, which is niche (think air traffic controller) and salary not easily found elsewhere without experience. Other parent not in picture.

No. It is not ok. A 16 yr old is still a child a she should not be put in a permanent situation where she is responsible for a younger sibling. You are putting the responsibility of HHI on a teenager and this is unconscionable.

Teenagers have these responsibilities in most countries. They care for younger siblings. It’s not ideal, I agree, but in the short terms it’s fine. I would look for a better solution long term.

Dp. I don't think other countries should be a model..after all there are countries where gurl chuldren are forced to marry, can't go to school and work in illegally in dangerous situations factories or digging for minerals etc. We should have higher standards not sink to the lowest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assume the parent works overnight. What are your honest thoughts on a (mature, responsible) 16yo and a (mature, responsible) 12yo (both girls) watching themselves 3-4 days a week. The alternative is the parent loses their job, which is niche (think air traffic controller) and salary not easily found elsewhere without experience. Other parent not in picture.

No. It is not ok. A 16 yr old is still a child a she should not be put in a permanent situation where she is responsible for a younger sibling. You are putting the responsibility of HHI on a teenager and this is unconscionable.

This is parentification and unless it’s very short term and finite, not acceptable.

Not ideal but likely single parent losing all or a significant portion of their income would leave everyone in a worse situation.

Tough.

So it would be better for them all to end up homeless?

No. You find another job.