Teen daughter - how would you respond? “She’s striking.”

[Anonymous]

I would have put the picture down and said “yes, you are the most beautiful girl in the world and no one could tell me different!” Or “ you have my favorite face. You are so beautiful.” And I would have meant every word.

Now stop complimenting other girls in front of your daughter. Lesson learned!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if she's not, I would say, "Absolutely!" You're her mom. What's wrong with you? Also, "beautiful in an unexpected way?" tf

OP means "exotic", except somewhere along the way she's heard that it's offensive to give POC "compliments" like that.

OP, was your daughter asking whether you thought she was pretty, or was she pointing out you would never compliment a white girl that way?

My son has been described as striking many times. He’s whiter than white. I think what people are referring to is the very unusual turquoise green of his eyes, possibly combined with his very bright blond hair. It’s not a racial thing.

[Anonymous]

I was hoping this was going to be a post about someone’s daughter realizing the power of unionizing, or even someone explaining why the actors are waving signs on tv.

Sigh.

DCUM only ever disappoints in its own unique way, so unexpectedly that you just have to love it. Well done, yet again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if she's not, I would say, "Absolutely!" You're her mom. What's wrong with you? Also, "beautiful in an unexpected way?" tf

I feel like OP might be dancing close to “exotic.”

Yep. This. ^^

One of the many reasons why it is better to just not comment on what people look like. No criticism, no compliments.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it is a race thing. We are white. One of my kids has very pale skin, dark brunette hair and light blue eyes. Other siblings are also attractive, but something about this one’s coloring has invited comments like “striking” since they were a toddler. DC is now in college and it still happens. I think it is when someone’s looks are unexpected or unusual.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been described as striking many times. I’m white. It’s because I have a unique features.

[Anonymous]

OMG. The answer is always yes.

Some of you people….

[Anonymous]

It’s OP. No idea why this post was resurrected from the dead. I am surprised so many people say I should have said yes. With some perspective now I have concluded:

- I think it’s fine to talk about looks - like this - with my almost adult daughter. It’s kind of weird to have off topics with her when she’s almost an adult.

- I think it’s fine to say she’s not striking. I don’t think it’s fine to lie about it. If she wasn’t almost an adult, sure. But at this age, what’s the point…I would imagine she could see what I’m talking about.

Fwiw, she’s a beautiful kid and knows I think so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG. The answer is always yes.

Some of you people….

100%

[Anonymous]

Striking is rare. I remember thinking Lupita Nyong’o being striking when I first saw her. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her, because her beauty is so glaringly unusual. It’s a disservice to tell your daughter she is striking if she is not. People deserve to know where they actually stand. Use the correct adjective. Is she cute, pretty, quirky, etc.? You should also use the right adjective so your daughter correctly understands the correct nuances between the words. However, let her also know that people don’t always see others the same exact way. What I perceive as striking, someone else may not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t bc there are other compliments that are more truthful for her.

Striking is unusual. Very pale with dark hair and eyes are often striking to me also so it’s not a race thing.

I have two daughters and I’d say one is objectively prettier maybe but my other daughter gets a lot of attention bc she’s stroking due to her natural platinum blonde hair. She also has a very small yet curvy frame. It’s just unusual.

Ick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have put the picture down and said “yes, you are the most beautiful girl in the world and no one could tell me different!” Or “ you have my favorite face. You are so beautiful.” And I would have meant every word.

Now stop complimenting other girls in front of your daughter. Lesson learned!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even if she's not, I would say, "Absolutely!" You're her mom. What's wrong with you? Also, "beautiful in an unexpected way?" tf

+1
“You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” I tell my little girl this all the time. In my eyes, she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter is looking for reassurance. It doesn't hurt to give it.

At what age would you say, you’re beautiful but striking is different.

Never. That sticks with you. I still remember tiny negative comments about my appearance that my mother has made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“You are the most beautiful person in the world to me and always will be!”

That’s all I would say

Kinda odd to say this to an almost-adult. 12? Sure

I’m in my 40s and wish my mom would say this to me. Seriously. I’m successful, happily married, husband tells me I’m gorgeous all the time, but Mom rarely did/does. I’m not damaged or anything, but I do wish my mom were more complimentary. I’d believe her if she said something like this and it would make my heart swell with happiness.