Child using their nickname instead of first name

[Anonymous]

"
OP, do you think this is more broadly about them denying their heritage? That might be worth a conversation, but honestly, they’re adults and have to come to appreciate their heritage on their own now. It is sad, and I can understand why you are, but you need to accept your child as they are at this point."

This is OP and thank you for being the only person who seems to be even slightly sensitive to this. It feels like they're ashamed of seeming too ethnic or something. The name is very easy for English speakers to pronounce, and I am certain that it isn't considered an ugly name in the USA, like if we'd named them Gertrude or something very outdated and harsh sounding like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, duh. Jonathan becomes Jon. Samantha becomes Sam. Jennifer becomes Jen.

The only person who still uses the formal name is...Mom.

Everyone else adult kids knows calls adult kid by the short version of their name.

This is everyone I know. Myself included.

It's a story as old as time. When I hear the moms of toddlers saying Alexander, I think to myself "that kid's going to be Alex to this friends, only Mom will call him Alexander." That's life.

Well, that isn't always true. My dd always wanted to be called the formal name never the nn ( think Catherine) My other dd goes by a nn but she prefers that we call her by her formal name too. I would do whatever she wanted!

[Anonymous]

Our third DD is Alexandra. I am not sure I've ever called her that. She's got like four different nicknames.

[Anonymous]

Yep, my DD uses a completely random name.

[Anonymous]

I have three cousins who all have very solid regular names (Think John or Emily). Each chosen to “honor” a family member. Every single one of them uses a nickname. Two of them use a nickname that has nothing to do with their given names, The only person who uses their “real” names is their mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reality is your kid ultimately decides what they want to be called.

We never used the common nickname for our firstborn, we always called them by their full name. After a week in pre-K they started going by the shortened nickname (easier to write). I’m literally the only person who ever says the full name.

I know several moms who picked long, beautiful names and swore their kids would never go by a nickname. Lol. They all go by the common nicknames their moms hoped to avoid.

By childhood names are you talking about cutesy names that aren’t traditional names? Like Skip, Pooh Bear, etc?

I know legit adults whose families and childhood friends call them Pooh Bear, etc. But they don’t go by such names at work.

I know a kid like this. Mother gave the child a long three syllable (but relatively common) first name. Father picked middle name which is short and unique. Mother calls him by long first name. Father calls him by short middle name. Friends call him by nickname of long first name. He prefers the nickname. But as he's only 10, he's just learned to be adaptable and answer to everything.

+1. When my kids were younger they had a friend whose name was Larry Moe (for example, not the kid’s name). Mom has chose Larry and called him that. Dad had chosen Moe and called him that. Spending time with both parents and the kid was crazy. Same kid. Both parents using different names. Which always begged the question, what “side” should we choose.

Fast forward 12 years. Kid is in college. I’m still FB ie Ds with both parents. And, they both still call the now young adult different names. When they attached an article about their kid, he was referred to as “Larry Moe”.

Crazy. Poor kid. And that’s a marriage with…. Issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course it is fine. Even if I was disappointed, it's not my name, not my choice.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, duh. Jonathan becomes Jon. Samantha becomes Sam. Jennifer becomes Jen.

The only person who still uses the formal name is...Mom.

Everyone else adult kids knows calls adult kid by the short version of their name.

This is everyone I know. Myself included.

It's a story as old as time. When I hear the moms of toddlers saying Alexander, I think to myself "that kid's going to be Alex to this friends, only Mom will call him Alexander." That's life.

Well, that isn't always true. My dd always wanted to be called the formal name never the nn ( think Catherine) My other dd goes by a nn but she prefers that we call her by her formal name too. I would do whatever she wanted!

It's not always true, but the kid has to want to be called the full version of their name. If they're fine with the nickname, then that's usually what happens. And this happens regardless of ethnicity. It might be about being ashamed of their heritage, but if OP doesn't have any other solid evidence that's what's happening, then it's almost certainly not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This is OP and thank you for being the only person who seems to be even slightly sensitive to this. It feels like they're ashamed of seeming too ethnic or something. The name is very easy for English speakers to pronounce, and I am certain that it isn't considered an ugly name in the USA, like if we'd named them Gertrude or something very outdated and harsh sounding like that.

Unless you have other, specific, solid reasons to think they are ashamed of their heritage, you are choosing to be hurt by an incredibly common phenomenon. Nicknames are super common, and not just in the United States.