Child using their nickname instead of first name

[Anonymous]

They still have the name that honors an ancestor and their heritage. They simply prefer to be referenced by another name. Trying to control what another adult calls themselves is extreme and overbearing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The reality is your kid ultimately decides what they want to be called.

We never used the common nickname for our firstborn, we always called them by their full name. After a week in pre-K they started going by the shortened nickname (easier to write). I’m literally the only person who ever says the full name.

I know several moms who picked long, beautiful names and swore their kids would never go by a nickname. Lol. They all go by the common nicknames their moms hoped to avoid.

By childhood names are you talking about cutesy names that aren’t traditional names? Like Skip, Pooh Bear, etc?

I know legit adults whose families and childhood friends call them Pooh Bear, etc. But they don’t go by such names at work.

I know a kid like this. Mother gave the child a long three syllable (but relatively common) first name. Father picked middle name which is short and unique. Mother calls him by long first name. Father calls him by short middle name. Friends call him by nickname of long first name. He prefers the nickname. But as he's only 10, he's just learned to be adaptable and answer to everything.

[Anonymous]

U have a relative that changed his name. Jos birth name didn't suit him nor did it match his personality. He preferred to be called by his middle name but was annoyed when official things referenced his first name. So he changed it.

There were hurt feelings but in the end it's not a big deal. My sister can't name people. All her kids have weird names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a relative that changed his name. His birth name didn't suit him nor did it match his personality. He preferred to be called by his middle name but was annoyed when official things referenced his first name. So he changed it.

There were hurt feelings but in the end it's not a big deal. My sister can't name people. All her kids have weird names.

[Anonymous]

My IL named their 5 kids specifically (they thought) so there wouldn’t be shortened nicknames however my DH went by a shortened version of his to his friends, day to day. But his parents and siblings still only address him long-form and it was so ingrained in my DH he intended to use it engraved inside our wedding bands. The reach of this controlling behavior AND my DH still feeling compelled by it honestly was a huge red flag for me. Glad it came to a head before marriage. Hopefully your kid has autonomy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just wish my own parents would stop calling themselves Bunny and Dick.

My parents had very good friends named Dick and Bunny, both deceased now. They were lovely people, so thanks for making me think of them today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL insists on using DH’s full name even though he prefers a nickname. And has repeatedly told her.

So they don’t talk much. You reap what you sow.

It may depend on how strongly the adult child feels about it. My DH's parents called him his long name growing up. Once in college and beyond, he switched to a nickname (think Nicholas/Nick). His parents still call him the long name, the rest of us use the nickname, and he is fine with it.

[Anonymous]

Well, duh. Jonathan becomes Jon. Samantha becomes Sam. Jennifer becomes Jen.

The only person who still uses the formal name is...Mom.

Everyone else adult kids knows calls adult kid by the short version of their name.

This is everyone I know. Myself included.

It's a story as old as time. When I hear the moms of toddlers saying Alexander, I think to myself "that kid's going to be Alex to this friends, only Mom will call him Alexander." That's life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This wouldn't fly in DeSantis' Florida, schools there now have to get parents to indicate on a form what their children are allowed to be called and if it's not listed then they must be called by their birth certificate name at school, no nicknames or preferred names.

The idea is to prevent students from asking staff to call them by their preferred name as they attempt to transition or begin that process, all without parental consent and knowledge.

How are Florida schools compelling young adults not to use their chosen names?

They aren't - this is a ridiculous post. The issue is that parents would be informed.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you think this is more broadly about them denying their heritage? That might be worth a conversation, but honestly, they’re adults and have to come to appreciate their heritage on their own now. It is sad, and I can understand why you are, but you need to accept your child as they are at this point.

[Anonymous]

Their choice.

Let them be who they are.

You should not get any vote in this for an adult child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just wish my own parents would stop calling themselves Bunny and Dick.

My parents had very good friends named Dick and Bunny, both deceased now. They were lovely people, so thanks for making me think of them today.

❤️

[Anonymous]

It means you gave your child a clunky name

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, duh. Jonathan becomes Jon. Samantha becomes Sam. Jennifer becomes Jen.

The only person who still uses the formal name is...Mom.

Everyone else adult kids knows calls adult kid by the short version of their name.

This is everyone I know. Myself included.

It's a story as old as time. When I hear the moms of toddlers saying Alexander, I think to myself "that kid's going to be Alex to this friends, only Mom will call him Alexander." That's life.

Haha now think about someone named Vyacheslav or some such. Everyone will thank them if they go by a nickname

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reality is your kid ultimately decides what they want to be called.

We never used the common nickname for our firstborn, we always called them by their full name. After a week in pre-K they started going by the shortened nickname (easier to write). I’m literally the only person who ever says the full name.

I know several moms who picked long, beautiful names and swore their kids would never go by a nickname. Lol. They all go by the common nicknames their moms hoped to avoid.

By childhood names are you talking about cutesy names that aren’t traditional names? Like Skip, Pooh Bear, etc?

I know legit adults whose families and childhood friends call them Pooh Bear, etc. But they don’t go by such names at work.

I know a kid like this. Mother gave the child a long three syllable (but relatively common) first name. Father picked middle name which is short and unique. Mother calls him by long first name. Father calls him by short middle name. Friends call him by nickname of long first name. He prefers the nickname. But as he's only 10, he's just learned to be adaptable and answer to everything.

Meh. We have a Christopher. It's long but obviously easy. He's started going by Chris now at college. It was super annoying at one point when he would insist on being called Christopher and people would shorten it. I'm guessing he just gave up.