People who lie about where they're from

[Anonymous]

I was born in one place, grew up in another state, moved to a third for college, a fourth for law school, and now live in DC. All of those cities/states were in different regions of the country. When I am asked "where are you from" it is 100% true that different people mean different things by the same question. Some mean where were you born, some where did you spend most/all of your childhood, some mean where did you move to this place from. I'm not giving my autobiography on command so I just have a quick stock answer that omits two of the four places.

I also strongly disagree with people who say you should name the suburb instead of LA as an answer. I don't know LA suburb names. If someone said they were from LA I would have an immediate understanding of what part of the world they mean, while if they say "La Anyplace, CA" I don't know if that's by San Diego, LA, San Francisco, Sacramento. If they said LA to a Los Angeleno in LA then it would be strange, but if you're living in DC you can say you're from Seattle or LA or Cedar Rapids to get the point across even though you grew up one town over. Who cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its always interesting when people lie about essential background truths.

I met a friend of a friend once at a dinner party and she went into a whole spiel that she was a stewardess with British Airways. Told me long involved stories about in-flight near disasters. Then she started laughing. She was just an unemployed actress and was delighted that she'd fooled me. Of course I didn't have any time to listen to her after that. Ever.

Are you 100 years old? I haven’t heard “stewardess” since the 1970s.

Are you stuck in the 1990s?

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=stewardess&year_start=1940&year_end=2019&corpus=en-2019&smoothing=7&case_insensitive=true

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was born in one place, grew up in another state, moved to a third for college, a fourth for law school, and now live in DC. All of those cities/states were in different regions of the country. When I am asked "where are you from" it is 100% true that different people mean different things by the same question. Some mean where were you born, some where did you spend most/all of your childhood, some mean where did you move to this place from. I'm not giving my autobiography on command so I just have a quick stock answer that omits two of the four places.

I also strongly disagree with people who say you should name the suburb instead of LA as an answer. I don't know LA suburb names. If someone said they were from LA I would have an immediate understanding of what part of the world they mean, while if they say "La Anyplace, CA" I don't know if that's by San Diego, LA, San Francisco, Sacramento. If they said LA to a Los Angeleno in LA then it would be strange, but if you're living in DC you can say you're from Seattle or LA or Cedar Rapids to get the point across even though you grew up one town over. Who cares.

It says a lot more about OP being obsessed with trying to clasify people by where they lived.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t want to tell you their personal business.

It’s none of your business where they’re from, or why they do or don’t tell you any of their background.

Maybe their parents are state senators and they’re just trying to blend in here.

Maybe they grew up in foster care.

Maybe their parents were serial killers and you would know it by the state and their last name.

Maybe their family is super wealthy and they don’t want anyone to know.

Maybe it’s NONE of your business.

So you've never asked a Hispanic Indian Asian or African where they're from?

I get asked all the time despite my family being dc natives since the 70s.

We are first gen and I do not find any of these questions odd, at all. Why are DC area people seemingly so paranoid? It is a point of conversation. Converse or don't.

How would someone do this? If you don't converse than they think you are odd for not answering a "simple question"

My point exactly. People in the DMV get so worked up about the stupidest things. People are making conversation - take part in the conversation in a non-petulant way, or stay in your damn house. People really don't care what you do, but if you think most any innocuous question is nosy or whatever, you are going to have a tough life.

My SIL is like this - looks to take offense at most anything. Then wonders why she hasn't any long term friends.

[Anonymous]

Why do you start this thread like every other month? Your obsession is bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was born in one place, grew up in another state, moved to a third for college, a fourth for law school, and now live in DC. All of those cities/states were in different regions of the country. When I am asked "where are you from" it is 100% true that different people mean different things by the same question. Some mean where were you born, some where did you spend most/all of your childhood, some mean where did you move to this place from. I'm not giving my autobiography on command so I just have a quick stock answer that omits two of the four places.

I also strongly disagree with people who say you should name the suburb instead of LA as an answer. I don't know LA suburb names. If someone said they were from LA I would have an immediate understanding of what part of the world they mean, while if they say "La Anyplace, CA" I don't know if that's by San Diego, LA, San Francisco, Sacramento. If they said LA to a Los Angeleno in LA then it would be strange, but if you're living in DC you can say you're from Seattle or LA or Cedar Rapids to get the point across even though you grew up one town over. Who cares.

It says a lot more about OP being obsessed with trying to clasify people by where they lived.

Huh? Are you always this defensive? DP here. Clearly socializing is not for you. If someone is pulling you. from your home involuntarily, to attend a social event, you need to reassess. Really, learn to get alond with your fellow humans. Not everything is about you. Some people are just trying to be civil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was born in one place, grew up in another state, moved to a third for college, a fourth for law school, and now live in DC. All of those cities/states were in different regions of the country. When I am asked "where are you from" it is 100% true that different people mean different things by the same question. Some mean where were you born, some where did you spend most/all of your childhood, some mean where did you move to this place from. I'm not giving my autobiography on command so I just have a quick stock answer that omits two of the four places.

I also strongly disagree with people who say you should name the suburb instead of LA as an answer. I don't know LA suburb names. If someone said they were from LA I would have an immediate understanding of what part of the world they mean, while if they say "La Anyplace, CA" I don't know if that's by San Diego, LA, San Francisco, Sacramento. If they said LA to a Los Angeleno in LA then it would be strange, but if you're living in DC you can say you're from Seattle or LA or Cedar Rapids to get the point across even though you grew up one town over. Who cares.

It says a lot more about OP being obsessed with trying to clasify people by where they lived.

Huh? Are you always this defensive? DP here. Clearly socializing is not for you. If someone is pulling you. from your home involuntarily, to attend a social event, you need to reassess. Really, learn to get alond with your fellow humans. Not everything is about you. Some people are just trying to be civil.

Not the PP, but you think the OP who accuses people of pathology and "trying to seem cosmopolitan" for not giving her their backstory on command is a model of how to socialize? How about this: small talk is small, keep it and your expectations light, and understand that nobody is required to meet your standards for transparency when you're asking questions about their background. It's not a lie to tell someone "the East Village" when they ask where you are from if that's where you live, even if OP is going to go home and google until she can prove you were born in Hoboken (and are therefore inferior to OP, who is a cosmopolitan delight and not a sociopath using birthplace as a replacement for a personality at all, no sir).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don't want to explain themselves. Are you really this dumb? You aren't superior because you grew up in a cosmopolitan city.

If it's no big deal then why make up a lie? And they obviously think it is superior since it only goes in one direction. I have never seen someone from NYC claim to be from small town Tennessee.

Love tennessee! Wish I was fro there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you start this thread like every other month? Your obsession is bizarre.

+1 do we really need to rehash this? Did you not like the answers you got in the other threads you -- basically verbatim -- started about this topic?

[Anonymous]

Huh. I have found that the majority of times if someone asks where I'm from, they mean: where do you currently live. They don't care that I grew up in suburban New Jersey. If it's a conversation about "where are you originally from"/childhood/etc. then that's pretty clear that's what they're asking. It's all about context.

And yes, you are oddly invested in this topic.

[Anonymous]

I bet OP is one of those who looks at my clearly mixed-race appearance (Asian & Latina) and asks me "where I'm from", trying to dig out my ethnic heritage, and refuses to accept my answer.

"Where are you from?"
"Grew up in the Chicago area. Now I live in NoVA."
"No, I mean where are you ORIGINALLY from?"
"Oh, I was born and raised in Northbrook. It's a little town north of the city. Wasn't sure you'd know where/what that is."
"No, like where is your FAMILY from?"
"Well, my dad grew up in the Pilsen neighborhood of Chicago. My mom moved all over as a kid, but mostly along the east coast."

[Anonymous]

Do people lie or it’s just not worth explaining because it’s not interesting? I grew up in one state and my spouse in another. We met in a third state and briefly lived in a fourth before we moved to DC. We live in NoVa. The convoluted history of where we’re from and how we met is a longish story but it’s really not that interesting.

When people ask where I’m from or where I live, I try to gauge why they are asking and their familiarity with the region and answer appropriately. Are you trying to place my accent? Are you curious where I went to college? Are you interested in my commute or want to ask about neighborhoods because you are house hunting? Just making small talk about the logo on my hat or a sticker on my car?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was born in one place, grew up in another state, moved to a third for college, a fourth for law school, and now live in DC. All of those cities/states were in different regions of the country. When I am asked "where are you from" it is 100% true that different people mean different things by the same question. Some mean where were you born, some where did you spend most/all of your childhood, some mean where did you move to this place from. I'm not giving my autobiography on command so I just have a quick stock answer that omits two of the four places.

I also strongly disagree with people who say you should name the suburb instead of LA as an answer. I don't know LA suburb names. If someone said they were from LA I would have an immediate understanding of what part of the world they mean, while if they say "La Anyplace, CA" I don't know if that's by San Diego, LA, San Francisco, Sacramento. If they said LA to a Los Angeleno in LA then it would be strange, but if you're living in DC you can say you're from Seattle or LA or Cedar Rapids to get the point across even though you grew up one town over. Who cares.

It says a lot more about OP being obsessed with trying to clasify people by where they lived.

Huh? Are you always this defensive? DP here. Clearly socializing is not for you. If someone is pulling you. from your home involuntarily, to attend a social event, you need to reassess. Really, learn to get alond with your fellow humans. Not everything is about you. Some people are just trying to be civil.

Not the PP, but you think the OP who accuses people of pathology and "trying to seem cosmopolitan" for not giving her their backstory on command is a model of how to socialize? How about this: small talk is small, keep it and your expectations light, and understand that nobody is required to meet your standards for transparency when you're asking questions about their background. It's not a lie to tell someone "the East Village" when they ask where you are from if that's where you live, even if OP is going to go home and google until she can prove you were born in Hoboken (and are therefore inferior to OP, who is a cosmopolitan delight and not a sociopath using birthplace as a replacement for a personality at all, no sir).

Are people really that ashamed of where they were born and raised? Puzzled as to why this topic has been raised a couple times?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who are cagey or dishonest about this stuff just aren’t genuinely friendly. At least to you. What’s worse is when you see that they are much more forthcoming with people they are trying to charm.

Are you the main character?

So now having genuine interest/curiosity about other people and wanting to have an actual candid conversation are signs of narcissism? You have got to be kidding.

You seem upset they want to talk to someone else. Perhaps you are boring with your single-minded fixation about WheRE ArE YuO FRoM?

[Anonymous]

I visited Spain twice and I claimed I was born there. Even speak with an accent sometimes. Does that count? FYP 🥒