People who lie about where they're from

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people lie about the city they grew up in? I live in a major city with a very high transplant percentage and it's amazing to me how many people will beat around the bush to say they're from "here" when the truth is they grew up in Duluth, Minnesota or Astoria, Oregon or whatever. Is it because they want to seem more cosmopolitan? What is the pathology at play?

OP, I was born in Boston and moved almost immediately to Colorado until I was in middle school, followed by 10 years in Wisconsin, and then 15 years in DC. I now live in CA. Where do you think I should tell people I'm from, realistically? I tell people in CA that I moved there from DC, which is true. Arguably, I'm a lot more from DC than I am from Boston or CO. I have no affinity with or allegiance to the state of Wisconsin at all. Why should I claim those places because I was a child there?

If this is a serious question, then the answer is quite obvious. "I grew up in (city name) Colorado and (city name) Wisconsin" since that's where you spent your formative years. Going to college in DC and then spending some early working years there is largely irrelevant since you spent your time there after you had reached adulthood and were "fully formed", so to speak. Whenever asks "where are you from" theyre asking where you grew up- it's really not even a complicated answer, in your case.

People don't mature after 18? That's an interesting idea.

Not in the way they do during childhood and young adulthood. That's why we, as a society, consider it the benchmark age.

It's a somewhat arbitrary choice that you are assigning significance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people lie about the city they grew up in? I live in a major city with a very high transplant percentage and it's amazing to me how many people will beat around the bush to say they're from "here" when the truth is they grew up in Duluth, Minnesota or Astoria, Oregon or whatever. Is it because they want to seem more cosmopolitan? What is the pathology at play?

OP, I was born in Boston and moved almost immediately to Colorado until I was in middle school, followed by 10 years in Wisconsin, and then 15 years in DC. I now live in CA. Where do you think I should tell people I'm from, realistically? I tell people in CA that I moved there from DC, which is true. Arguably, I'm a lot more from DC than I am from Boston or CO. I have no affinity with or allegiance to the state of Wisconsin at all. Why should I claim those places because I was a child there?

If this is a serious question, then the answer is quite obvious. "I grew up in (city name) Colorado and (city name) Wisconsin" since that's where you spent your formative years. Going to college in DC and then spending some early working years there is largely irrelevant since you spent your time there after you had reached adulthood and were "fully formed", so to speak. Whenever asks "where are you from" theyre asking where you grew up- it's really not even a complicated answer, in your case.

People don't mature after 18? That's an interesting idea.

Not in the way they do during childhood and young adulthood. That's why we, as a society, consider it the benchmark age.

It's a somewhat arbitrary choice that you are assigning significance.

Take that up with the federal government and society as a whole, not me. I'm not the one who came up with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people lie about the city they grew up in? I live in a major city with a very high transplant percentage and it's amazing to me how many people will beat around the bush to say they're from "here" when the truth is they grew up in Duluth, Minnesota or Astoria, Oregon or whatever. Is it because they want to seem more cosmopolitan? What is the pathology at play?

OP, I was born in Boston and moved almost immediately to Colorado until I was in middle school, followed by 10 years in Wisconsin, and then 15 years in DC. I now live in CA. Where do you think I should tell people I'm from, realistically? I tell people in CA that I moved there from DC, which is true. Arguably, I'm a lot more from DC than I am from Boston or CO. I have no affinity with or allegiance to the state of Wisconsin at all. Why should I claim those places because I was a child there?

If this is a serious question, then the answer is quite obvious. "I grew up in (city name) Colorado and (city name) Wisconsin" since that's where you spent your formative years. Going to college in DC and then spending some early working years there is largely irrelevant since you spent your time there after you had reached adulthood and were "fully formed", so to speak. Whenever asks "where are you from" theyre asking where you grew up- it's really not even a complicated answer, in your case.

Where am I from, OP? What response could I give (that won't bore people to tears) that "truthfully" answers your question?

My parents were living in Beirut but temporarily relocated to Paris for a few months when I was born for access to better medical care, but returned to Beirut where we lived until I was four. I did K-Grade 2 in Harare, Grades 3-5 in Hanoi, Grade 6 in DC, Grades 7-9 in Bogota, and Grades 10-12 in Tunis.

I spent my "formative years" in multiple countries across four continents. I went to French schools in Harare and Hanoi, public school in DC, a Swiss school in Bogota (where I learned German and Spanish) and an American school in Tunis. FWIW I have a US and EU passport (French and American parents).

What would be so bad about saying something like "I grew up all over- predominantly Hanoi, Bogota, and Tunis"? And if they want more details they can ask? Even so, it seems strange to act like this is the reality for most people, when you seem to be well aware this is an outlier. But even in an extreme case like yours, naming the three places you lived the longest wouldn't take more than 5 seconds. Why are you acting like this a crazy situation that you're truly incapable of handling?

K through second grade was pretty formative for me. So I wouldn’t leave out Harare. And I learned Arabic in Beirut, a language I now use in my professional life, so I think I would have to include Beirut as part of my “formative” experience. I did live there for 4 years, longer than the other places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people lie about the city they grew up in? I live in a major city with a very high transplant percentage and it's amazing to me how many people will beat around the bush to say they're from "here" when the truth is they grew up in Duluth, Minnesota or Astoria, Oregon or whatever. Is it because they want to seem more cosmopolitan? What is the pathology at play?

OP, I was born in Boston and moved almost immediately to Colorado until I was in middle school, followed by 10 years in Wisconsin, and then 15 years in DC. I now live in CA. Where do you think I should tell people I'm from, realistically? I tell people in CA that I moved there from DC, which is true. Arguably, I'm a lot more from DC than I am from Boston or CO. I have no affinity with or allegiance to the state of Wisconsin at all. Why should I claim those places because I was a child there?

If this is a serious question, then the answer is quite obvious. "I grew up in (city name) Colorado and (city name) Wisconsin" since that's where you spent your formative years. Going to college in DC and then spending some early working years there is largely irrelevant since you spent your time there after you had reached adulthood and were "fully formed", so to speak. Whenever asks "where are you from" theyre asking where you grew up- it's really not even a complicated answer, in your case.

Where am I from, OP? What response could I give (that won't bore people to tears) that "truthfully" answers your question?

My parents were living in Beirut but temporarily relocated to Paris for a few months when I was born for access to better medical care, but returned to Beirut where we lived until I was four. I did K-Grade 2 in Harare, Grades 3-5 in Hanoi, Grade 6 in DC, Grades 7-9 in Bogota, and Grades 10-12 in Tunis.

I spent my "formative years" in multiple countries across four continents. I went to French schools in Harare and Hanoi, public school in DC, a Swiss school in Bogota (where I learned German and Spanish) and an American school in Tunis. FWIW I have a US and EU passport (French and American parents).

What would be so bad about saying something like "I grew up all over- predominantly Hanoi, Bogota, and Tunis"? And if they want more details they can ask? Even so, it seems strange to act like this is the reality for most people, when you seem to be well aware this is an outlier. But even in an extreme case like yours, naming the three places you lived the longest wouldn't take more than 5 seconds. Why are you acting like this a crazy situation that you're truly incapable of handling?

K through second grade was pretty formative for me. So I wouldn’t leave out Harare. And I learned Arabic in Beirut, a language I now use in my professional life, so I think I would have to include Beirut as part of my “formative” experience. I did live there for 4 years, longer than the other places.

Nice! Add that in then, would add less than a second. Whatever you feel the highlights are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people lie about the city they grew up in? I live in a major city with a very high transplant percentage and it's amazing to me how many people will beat around the bush to say they're from "here" when the truth is they grew up in Duluth, Minnesota or Astoria, Oregon or whatever. Is it because they want to seem more cosmopolitan? What is the pathology at play?

OP, I was born in Boston and moved almost immediately to Colorado until I was in middle school, followed by 10 years in Wisconsin, and then 15 years in DC. I now live in CA. Where do you think I should tell people I'm from, realistically? I tell people in CA that I moved there from DC, which is true. Arguably, I'm a lot more from DC than I am from Boston or CO. I have no affinity with or allegiance to the state of Wisconsin at all. Why should I claim those places because I was a child there?

If this is a serious question, then the answer is quite obvious. "I grew up in (city name) Colorado and (city name) Wisconsin" since that's where you spent your formative years. Going to college in DC and then spending some early working years there is largely irrelevant since you spent your time there after you had reached adulthood and were "fully formed", so to speak. Whenever asks "where are you from" theyre asking where you grew up- it's really not even a complicated answer, in your case.

Where am I from, OP? What response could I give (that won't bore people to tears) that "truthfully" answers your question?

My parents were living in Beirut but temporarily relocated to Paris for a few months when I was born for access to better medical care, but returned to Beirut where we lived until I was four. I did K-Grade 2 in Harare, Grades 3-5 in Hanoi, Grade 6 in DC, Grades 7-9 in Bogota, and Grades 10-12 in Tunis.

I spent my "formative years" in multiple countries across four continents. I went to French schools in Harare and Hanoi, public school in DC, a Swiss school in Bogota (where I learned German and Spanish) and an American school in Tunis. FWIW I have a US and EU passport (French and American parents).

What would be so bad about saying something like "I grew up all over- predominantly Hanoi, Bogota, and Tunis"? And if they want more details they can ask? Even so, it seems strange to act like this is the reality for most people, when you seem to be well aware this is an outlier. But even in an extreme case like yours, naming the three places you lived the longest wouldn't take more than 5 seconds. Why are you acting like this a crazy situation that you're truly incapable of handling?

K through second grade was pretty formative for me. So I wouldn’t leave out Harare. And I learned Arabic in Beirut, a language I now use in my professional life, so I think I would have to include Beirut as part of my “formative” experience. I did live there for 4 years, longer than the other places.

Nice! Add that in then, would add less than a second. Whatever you feel the highlights are.

But am I *from* any of those places?

[Anonymous]

People who are cagey or dishonest about this stuff just aren’t genuinely friendly. At least to you. What’s worse is when you see that they are much more forthcoming with people they are trying to charm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people lie about the city they grew up in? I live in a major city with a very high transplant percentage and it's amazing to me how many people will beat around the bush to say they're from "here" when the truth is they grew up in Duluth, Minnesota or Astoria, Oregon or whatever. Is it because they want to seem more cosmopolitan? What is the pathology at play?

OP, I was born in Boston and moved almost immediately to Colorado until I was in middle school, followed by 10 years in Wisconsin, and then 15 years in DC. I now live in CA. Where do you think I should tell people I'm from, realistically? I tell people in CA that I moved there from DC, which is true. Arguably, I'm a lot more from DC than I am from Boston or CO. I have no affinity with or allegiance to the state of Wisconsin at all. Why should I claim those places because I was a child there?

If this is a serious question, then the answer is quite obvious. "I grew up in (city name) Colorado and (city name) Wisconsin" since that's where you spent your formative years. Going to college in DC and then spending some early working years there is largely irrelevant since you spent your time there after you had reached adulthood and were "fully formed", so to speak. Whenever asks "where are you from" theyre asking where you grew up- it's really not even a complicated answer, in your case.

People don't mature after 18? That's an interesting idea.

Not in the way they do during childhood and young adulthood. That's why we, as a society, consider it the benchmark age.

It's a somewhat arbitrary choice that you are assigning significance.

Take that up with the federal government and society as a whole, not me. I'm not the one who came up with it.

You have a rather bad case of black and white thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who are cagey or dishonest about this stuff just aren’t genuinely friendly. At least to you. What’s worse is when you see that they are much more forthcoming with people they are trying to charm.

Are you the main character?

[Anonymous]

Because the precision isn’t necessary. Especially if it’s a town no one’s heard of. No one really cares, they’re just striking up conversation.

If I’m in Virginia, and someone asks where I’m from, I say Arlington.

If I’m in Iowa, and someone asks where I’m from, I say DC.

[Anonymous]

How do you define “from”? My DH moved away for college when he was 17. He has lived in our current city for 35 years (never moved back to his childhood home) why do those first 17 years matter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who are cagey or dishonest about this stuff just aren’t genuinely friendly. At least to you. What’s worse is when you see that they are much more forthcoming with people they are trying to charm.

Are you the main character?

So now having genuine interest/curiosity about other people and wanting to have an actual candid conversation are signs of narcissism? You have got to be kidding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people lie about the city they grew up in? I live in a major city with a very high transplant percentage and it's amazing to me how many people will beat around the bush to say they're from "here" when the truth is they grew up in Duluth, Minnesota or Astoria, Oregon or whatever. Is it because they want to seem more cosmopolitan? What is the pathology at play?

OP, I was born in Boston and moved almost immediately to Colorado until I was in middle school, followed by 10 years in Wisconsin, and then 15 years in DC. I now live in CA. Where do you think I should tell people I'm from, realistically? I tell people in CA that I moved there from DC, which is true. Arguably, I'm a lot more from DC than I am from Boston or CO. I have no affinity with or allegiance to the state of Wisconsin at all. Why should I claim those places because I was a child there?

If this is a serious question, then the answer is quite obvious. "I grew up in (city name) Colorado and (city name) Wisconsin" since that's where you spent your formative years. Going to college in DC and then spending some early working years there is largely irrelevant since you spent your time there after you had reached adulthood and were "fully formed", so to speak. Whenever asks "where are you from" theyre asking where you grew up- it's really not even a complicated answer, in your case.

Where am I from, OP? What response could I give (that won't bore people to tears) that "truthfully" answers your question?

My parents were living in Beirut but temporarily relocated to Paris for a few months when I was born for access to better medical care, but returned to Beirut where we lived until I was four. I did K-Grade 2 in Harare, Grades 3-5 in Hanoi, Grade 6 in DC, Grades 7-9 in Bogota, and Grades 10-12 in Tunis.

I spent my "formative years" in multiple countries across four continents. I went to French schools in Harare and Hanoi, public school in DC, a Swiss school in Bogota (where I learned German and Spanish) and an American school in Tunis. FWIW I have a US and EU passport (French and American parents).

It sounds like you are from an International Family - like us!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think its always interesting when people lie about essential background truths.

I met a friend of a friend once at a dinner party and she went into a whole spiel that she was a stewardess with British Airways. Told me long involved stories about in-flight near disasters. Then she started laughing. She was just an unemployed actress and was delighted that she'd fooled me. Of course I didn't have any time to listen to her after that. Ever.

Are you 100 years old? I haven’t heard “stewardess” since the 1970s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t want to tell you their personal business.

It’s none of your business where they’re from, or why they do or don’t tell you any of their background.

Maybe their parents are state senators and they’re just trying to blend in here.

Maybe they grew up in foster care.

Maybe their parents were serial killers and you would know it by the state and their last name.

Maybe their family is super wealthy and they don’t want anyone to know.

Maybe it’s NONE of your business.

So you've never asked a Hispanic Indian Asian or African where they're from?

I get asked all the time despite my family being dc natives since the 70s.

We are first gen and I do not find any of these questions odd, at all. Why are DC area people seemingly so paranoid? It is a point of conversation. Converse or don't.

How would someone do this? If you don't converse than they think you are odd for not answering a "simple question"

[Anonymous]

Where's your family from?

Doesn't matter; there's a million things I haven't done.

He's penniless; he's flying by the seat of his pants!