People who lie about where they're from

[Anonymous]

Why do people lie about the city they grew up in? I live in a major city with a very high transplant percentage and it's amazing to me how many people will beat around the bush to say they're from "here" when the truth is they grew up in Duluth, Minnesota or Astoria, Oregon or whatever. Is it because they want to seem more cosmopolitan? What is the pathology at play?

[Anonymous]

They don't want to explain themselves. Are you really this dumb? You aren't superior because you grew up in a cosmopolitan city.

[Anonymous]

What, OP, you didn’t get enough engagement last time you started this thread?

Get over it, my obsessed friend.

[Anonymous]

Oh I thought this was going to be about people who claim to be from "LA" or "NY" when they are actually from a town and hour outside those cities, in an effort to seem more cosmopolitan. I do think that's weird, and sort of embarrassing when people find out "oh, you're actually from Jersey." I am not from a major city and I have zero shame about that fact. I think it's weird when people try to hide it -- being from somewhere smaller and more remote is often more interesting, in my experience.

I don't think I've ever really encountered what you are talking about. I've encountered miscommunication before where I ask where someone is from and they say "DC," but only because they didn't understand I was asking where they grew up. Not because they are lying about it. "Where are you from?" can mean different things in different contexts, and even I will say "DC" if I'm traveling outside DC and get asked that question. I've never met anyone who claimed to grow up in DC when they didn't. I would find that very weird.

[Anonymous]

They don’t want to tell you their personal business.

It’s none of your business where they’re from, or why they do or don’t tell you any of their background.

Maybe their parents are state senators and they’re just trying to blend in here.

Maybe they grew up in foster care.

Maybe their parents were serial killers and you would know it by the state and their last name.

Maybe their family is super wealthy and they don’t want anyone to know.

Maybe it’s NONE of your business.

[Anonymous]

I think its always interesting when people lie about essential background truths.

I met a friend of a friend once at a dinner party and she went into a whole spiel that she was a stewardess with British Airways. Told me long involved stories about in-flight near disasters. Then she started laughing. She was just an unemployed actress and was delighted that she'd fooled me. Of course I didn't have any time to listen to her after that. Ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They don't want to explain themselves. Are you really this dumb? You aren't superior because you grew up in a cosmopolitan city.

If it's no big deal then why make up a lie? And they obviously think it is superior since it only goes in one direction. I have never seen someone from NYC claim to be from small town Tennessee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think its always interesting when people lie about essential background truths.

I met a friend of a friend once at a dinner party and she went into a whole spiel that she was a stewardess with British Airways. Told me long involved stories about in-flight near disasters. Then she started laughing. She was just an unemployed actress and was delighted that she'd fooled me. Of course I didn't have any time to listen to her after that. Ever.

She was acting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think its always interesting when people lie about essential background truths.

I met a friend of a friend once at a dinner party and she went into a whole spiel that she was a stewardess with British Airways. Told me long involved stories about in-flight near disasters. Then she started laughing. She was just an unemployed actress and was delighted that she'd fooled me. Of course I didn't have any time to listen to her after that. Ever.

I would have found that interesting and looked forward to seeing her at other events and watching her pull that act on other people.

But that's not what anyone means by lying. She wasn't trying to look better by telling you this story, she was just trying to see if she could convince you. That's very different from someone who claims something concrete about their background ("I'm from Chicago" or "I have a masters" or "I work in publishing" when these things are not true) in order to get people to like them or be impressed by them. The actress was just having fun/trying something out and it sounds like she always intended to tell you the truth (and thought you'd figure it out sooner).

[Anonymous]

Because I came from a small town that everyone seems to somehow have some connection to. My ex still lives in this town and he is dangerous. Even if he didn't live there though, I want my distance and to be a little anonymous. I'm not on any social media besides using reddit a little for help with my new knitting hobby.

I don't want to be associated with anything from my past unless I create the association. I just say a small town, or a small town north of here, & neglect naming it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do people lie about the city they grew up in? I live in a major city with a very high transplant percentage and it's amazing to me how many people will beat around the bush to say they're from "here" when the truth is they grew up in Duluth, Minnesota or Astoria, Oregon or whatever. Is it because they want to seem more cosmopolitan? What is the pathology at play?

I always end up having to explain where my hometown is and how big it is. I also haven't lived there for 10+ years, so it is odd to talk much about. Asking where someone is from (as in was born and grew up) can also come across as out of touch or even racist depending on how it is asked and the context (an assumption about it not being here based on an accent or appearance). I'd be careful with the where are you really from questioning!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think its always interesting when people lie about essential background truths.

I met a friend of a friend once at a dinner party and she went into a whole spiel that she was a stewardess with British Airways. Told me long involved stories about in-flight near disasters. Then she started laughing. She was just an unemployed actress and was delighted that she'd fooled me. Of course I didn't have any time to listen to her after that. Ever.

I consider it a red fla. as well, at least an indictor of some kind of deep inner turmoil or lack of self esteem. It's especially embarrassing when it's a very obvious lie, like when someone is claiming to be from Los Angeles but has a midwestern accent or claiming to be from Seattle but seems to know nothing about the local area/politics/schools. It's cringe for anyone to have to witness, the same feeling as accidentally seeing someone changing clothes or picking their nose...

[Anonymous]

I do this sometimes when I dislike someone and don’t want to share much about my life. But I never lie, I just am vague let them assume and they are usually incorrect. If they ask clarification, I am always truthful.

[Anonymous]

I'll also answer with a generic but not untruthful response.
It is one of those questions I tend to get from awkward people who are maybe not so good at small talk and who I may not want to tell exactly where I grew up and lived.

[Anonymous]

This question reminds me of this article https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2023/08/kyle-deschanel-the-rothschild-who-wasnt about the guy who claimed to be a Rothschild who grew up in Manhattan when he was really from Lakewood, New Jersey. Anytime someone makes up stuff about their identity it's a flashing neon sign that something is off, whether you can identify that immediately or not. They're up to something.