How does Catholic school make kids so outgoing and gregarious?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the culture, not the school. Being Catholic means accepting and practicing social norms which are currently seen as optional at best by many other children (and adults) today. Families with many connections who are out and about with other families, at church, doing sports, etc. are more likely to produce more socially competent children. The lack of respect and even disdain for traditional social interactions among the urban intellectual elite today (dressing well, making conversation, eye contact, being polite to elders, attending events and ceremonies) is really hurting a large cohort of kids today; Catholics have the social infrastructure to provide a bulwark against some of this. Same goes for Jews, by the way.

You are describing a minority of Catholics. You probably would consider my large Catholic parish in Upper NW to be no better than the heathens you deride.

Don't think there aren't conservative hierarchies in Catholicism...my mother would often make derisive remarks about various "liberal" Catholic churches.

Maybe it's fewer than it was in the 1970s, but I doubt it's a minority of practicing Catholic families. I also think "liberal" parishes are still very normative. I didn't say anything about faith; I was making an argument about cultural norms being positive--literally any norms at all other than "anything goes". Your "heathen" comment is a strawman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the culture, not the school. Being Catholic means accepting and practicing social norms which are currently seen as optional at best by many other children (and adults) today. Families with many connections who are out and about with other families, at church, doing sports, etc. are more likely to produce more socially competent children. The lack of respect and even disdain for traditional social interactions among the urban intellectual elite today (dressing well, making conversation, eye contact, being polite to elders, attending events and ceremonies) is really hurting a large cohort of kids today; Catholics have the social infrastructure to provide a bulwark against some of this. Same goes for Jews, by the way.

You are describing a minority of Catholics. You probably would consider my large Catholic parish in Upper NW to be no better than the heathens you deride.

Don't think there aren't conservative hierarchies in Catholicism...my mother would often make derisive remarks about various "liberal" Catholic churches.

Maybe it's fewer than it was in the 1970s, but I doubt it's a minority of practicing Catholic families. I also think "liberal" parishes are still very normative. I didn't say anything about faith; I was making an argument about cultural norms being positive--literally any norms at all other than "anything goes". Your "heathen" comment is a strawman.

Well, you are making a comment about Catholics...not Catholic schools. A significant minority (possibly majority) of our parishioners don't send their kids to Catholic schools for a variety of reasons...many are in private (not Catholic), and many in public school as well.

Some play CYO sports, but the vast majority of kids that don't go to Catholic school do not.

When you extended this conversation to the Catholic faith, you made a big leap...let's just keep the discussion to the schools.

[Anonymous]

Some play CYO sports, but the vast majority of kids that don't go to Catholic school do not.

FYI- this varies greatly from parish to parish. For some it the majority of students come from the parish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Some play CYO sports, but the vast majority of kids that don't go to Catholic school do not.

FYI- this varies greatly from parish to parish. For some it the majority of students come from the parish.

The majority of the kids do come from the Parish...but it is primarily the kids that go to Catholic school.

[Anonymous]

Haha this is “I come from a big Irish family” personality and yes they love catholic schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know in my own kid's school there is a lot of emphasis on public speaking and leadership.

This! My kids who did Catholic for at least part of their education are not naturally extroverted, but they had so many oral presentations that they are poised and fluid orators. Even my kid who stuttered had to present orally and was taught to remain calm and keep going.

My kids are at a Catholic school and I was sold on the tour when the impressive 8th grader showed us around. He looked us in the eye, seemed very mature, and was just had a presence about him, and seemed confident and comfortable with other adults. Most of the teens I saw around town were nothing like that. They mumbled when speaking, avoided eye contact and would certainly never call us Mr or Mrs. I'm sure for some manners are old fashioned and unimportant, but it made an impression on us.

This is a huge selling point. My kids are young at a Catholic school and I volunteered for lunch duty. The middle school kids talked amongst themselves about normal things (clothes, anime, books), threw out all their trash, and THANKED ME for wiping the tables down! Of course it helps that no phones are allowed. If my kids turn out to be nice adolescents like that I'll consider it the best money I ever spent.

[Anonymous]

My kids go to Catholic school (since kindergarten). They both are good public speakers. It has been part of their education since kindergarten and they do it in a really supportive environment. One of my kids is kind of quiet but the community at the school is great for him. Has lots of friends, everyone knows him, he definitely feels support there.

[Anonymous]

I think it partly has to do with school size and how kids can grow to be confident in close communities. My twins started in public this year after a lifetime in Catholic school and out of all the differences they've noticed, the biggest and maybe most disappointing one is that most kids in their new school who don't know each other don't even make eye contact let alone friendly small talk. One of mine compared it to sitting on a crowded metro at rush hour vs. sitting with the kids on their soccer team, some of whom are friends and some aren't but they're all still teammates.

It's a much different environment than one where the kids go to church together every week, their siblings might be friends, they see each other at the parish picnic, their moms chat at pickup, etc. My kids might not be the most extraverted 14 year olds ever but after that many years spent in that type of small community, they approach new people in the same way they always have, with the base working assumption that new kids they meet might want to be friends, and if they don't, we all still need to be polite and kind anyway.

In small schools, there's also no hiding; everyone takes their turn being front and center in class, doing readings for Mass, being a buddy to a younger student, etc. It's hard for the most introverted but it might contribute to the outside perception that everyone in Catholic school is outgoing; they're not, they just get to practice it more.

[Anonymous]

I taught at a k-8 Catholic school for many years. From my experience, the school provided many opportunities for public speaking: reading and cantoring at mass, morning news show, many class presentations, grade programs (All Saints, Thanksgiving).

I also think the community itself is a big influence. The school and parish organized activities for the kids to socialize (CYO, donut Sundays). There was also a lot of interaction with parents and teachers. I feel the kids will often behave better when they see the adults know each other.

However, as in any group of kids, there will always be many introverts, who along with their parents, just kept to themselves. Not all were naturally outgoing and felt comfortable with adults.

My kids were also students at this school and then went onto public school. I feel the Catholic k-8 education gave them confidence to interact with their new peers and teachers with kindness and respect. Now, are they perfect? Not at all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know in my own kid's school there is a lot of emphasis on public speaking and leadership.

This! My kids who did Catholic for at least part of their education are not naturally extroverted, but they had so many oral presentations that they are poised and fluid orators. Even my kid who stuttered had to present orally and was taught to remain calm and keep going.

Interestingly, we experienced the opposite. Our visits to the Catholic school we were considering showed us kids who were more checked-out than any others. They were placed in every hallway and stairway and intersection to supposedly talk with visiting families or help people find particular rooms, and they all stood around talking only among themselves, not making eye contact, no “can I help you?” to families clearly looking around confused about where they should go. I felt like I was bothering or interrupting them anytime I had a question. In contrast, the private school DC ended up attending had students who were engaged with visiting families, articulate, really gave the impression that they were happy to speak with us about their experiences at the school.

My kids are at a Catholic school and I was sold on the tour when the impressive 8th grader showed us around. He looked us in the eye, seemed very mature, and was just had a presence about him, and seemed confident and comfortable with other adults. Most of the teens I saw around town were nothing like that. They mumbled when speaking, avoided eye contact and would certainly never call us Mr or Mrs. I'm sure for some manners are old fashioned and unimportant, but it made an impression on us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know in my own kid's school there is a lot of emphasis on public speaking and leadership.

This! My kids who did Catholic for at least part of their education are not naturally extroverted, but they had so many oral presentations that they are poised and fluid orators. Even my kid who stuttered had to present orally and was taught to remain calm and keep going.

My kids are at a Catholic school and I was sold on the tour when the impressive 8th grader showed us around. He looked us in the eye, seemed very mature, and was just had a presence about him, and seemed confident and comfortable with other adults. Most of the teens I saw around town were nothing like that. They mumbled when speaking, avoided eye contact and would certainly never call us Mr or Mrs. I'm sure for some manners are old fashioned and unimportant, but it made an impression on us.

Interestingly, we experienced the opposite. Our visits to the Catholic school we were considering showed us kids who were more checked-out than any others. They were placed in every hallway and stairway and intersection to supposedly talk with visiting families or help people find particular rooms, and they all stood around talking only among themselves, not making eye contact, no “can I help you?” to families clearly looking around confused about where they should go. I felt like I was bothering or interrupting them anytime I had a question. In contrast, the private school DC ended up attending had students who were engaged with visiting families, articulate, really gave the impression that they were happy to speak with us about their experiences at the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know in my own kid's school there is a lot of emphasis on public speaking and leadership.

This! My kids who did Catholic for at least part of their education are not naturally extroverted, but they had so many oral presentations that they are poised and fluid orators. Even my kid who stuttered had to present orally and was taught to remain calm and keep going.

My kids are at a Catholic school and I was sold on the tour when the impressive 8th grader showed us around. He looked us in the eye, seemed very mature, and was just had a presence about him, and seemed confident and comfortable with other adults. Most of the teens I saw around town were nothing like that. They mumbled when speaking, avoided eye contact and would certainly never call us Mr or Mrs. I'm sure for some manners are old fashioned and unimportant, but it made an impression on us.

Interestingly, we experienced the opposite. Our visits to the Catholic school we were considering showed us kids who were more checked-out than any others. They were placed in every hallway and stairway and intersection to supposedly talk with visiting families or help people find particular rooms, and they all stood around talking only among themselves, not making eye contact, no “can I help you?” to families clearly looking around confused about where they should go. I felt like I was bothering or interrupting them anytime I had a question. In contrast, the private school DC ended up attending had students who were engaged with visiting families, articulate, really gave the impression that they were happy to speak with us about their experiences at the school.

I think there is probably a large disconnect between Catholic K-8 vs. Catholic HS in the DMV Area. I assume probably 90%+ of the student body at a K-8 is Catholic, while there are a number of WCAC schools that are as low as 50% Catholic. The WCAC Catholic schools are creating sports powerhouse teams...the students are respectful, do take religion classes and attend mass...but I don't think anyone would write the headline of this thread if that was their only experience with Catholic schools.

[Anonymous]

My son attended public school through 8th grade and switched to Catholic all boys in 9th and then a Catholic university. He has his public school friends, Catholic HS friends, and college friends. If I had to pick the friends I like least, it would definitely be the public school friends, mainly because the are less polite and engaging. Love his HS and college friends. This is my own little sample, but it is very consistent.

[Anonymous]

Lots of Irish and Italians- Catholics. A lot of us our both. The Irish are known for the gift of gab and humor and the Italians will host everyone and cook them a big meal.

We are a very extroverted, social bunch.

Even funerals break out into a party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's cultural. A lot of expressive gregarious cultures are commonly Catholic. Hispanics, Italians, Irish, Filipino, etc. These are typically not quiet people.

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