8th grade and no cell phone

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP: I promise I'm not trolling. I'm 13 years old, and yes, smart for my age. I'm not using AI, and I can easily switch up my tone in writing to how a "real teenager" would type. But I decided to write it with time and effort into grammar and sentence composition, since this is a parents forum, and I should respect that.

I appreciate the advice, with not trying for Snapchat immediately and veering towards monitored messages, sticking to ground rules, etc. It's all been very helpful to be able to ask questions and continue to see from a parents perspective, since I know they have my best interest in mind.


“Veering towards monitored messages”??? No, you are not a teen.


So every teen talks the same and uses slang words, none of them can use vocabulary and synonyms for different words, I guess. Usually it would be a compliment to be called an AI bot or older than my age, but right now it's not.
Anonymous
The reason you can write and think is because your brain hasn’t been turned into mush from staring at your phone day.

Keep reading actual books and interacting with people in person and focus on your studies, getting physical activity, and socializing in person.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Also, if you are indeed a 13 year old 8th grader, then you should be in class now rather than trolling on DCUM.


MCPS is not back in school yet
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:There is no way a teen wrote this. I have teens. Really smart articulate ones. Nope, no way.


Yeah. This sounds like an adult pretending to be a teen....
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The reason you can write and think is because your brain hasn’t been turned into mush from staring at your phone day.

Keep reading actual books and interacting with people in person and focus on your studies, getting physical activity, and socializing in person.



I appreciate this. Obviously I will not just stop wanting my own phone, but I feel like I need to slow down with this whole process, after reading other parents responses.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There is no way a teen wrote this. I have teens. Really smart articulate ones. Nope, no way.


Yeah. This sounds like an adult pretending to be a teen....


I can't even defend myself anymore, but believe what you wanna. I'm a teen and that's a compliment to me Have a great rest of your day, and thank you if you offered any opinions/advice!
Anonymous
We got my son a phone for 7th grade but severely limited what he could use it for.

He earned snapchat and also the trust to go walk to a nearby shopping center with friends after school through his behavior in 7th grade.

He got excellent grades and had no missing assignments.
He was respectful and communicative with us all year.
We got to know his new middle school friends and some of their parents.
He worked hard at his after school activities.
He followed the rules we set up surrounding his phone.

We had him sign a contract for phone behavior. You can find templates on line. I'd go to your parents with your arguments for why you want a phone and snapchat. Go with the contract in hand, understanding all the things you'd be agreeing to. Hopefully they will trust you to try this. Be specific about you will (and won't) use the phone for.

I get it - kids really do communicate through snapchat, boys especially. Good luck!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The reason you can write and think is because your brain hasn’t been turned into mush from staring at your phone day.

Keep reading actual books and interacting with people in person and focus on your studies, getting physical activity, and socializing in person.


The problem is that this on not how kids communicate these days. We can hate it as gen x, and I do, but it’s reality. I spent hours on my phone (my own line) in my room when I was in middle school.
Anonymous
OP, I don't think you are a troll, but I don't care. You are addressing a real issue, and we, other parents can surely help with a perspective or two.

I agree that you should have a phone - mostly because I understand through my own 8th grader that 90% of socialization is via a device of some kind. Also, I believe middle school is the time when you teach kids how to navigate the internet -- because very soon you will be without restrictions on it.

Here's what I would propose to your parents:
1) Pivot and explain that while you aren't interested in social media for the most part, this is how your world is -- but don't make it a sob story; just state the case.
2) Find a good parent website that has some rules that you can all follow https://simplyrootedfamily.com/2023/06/02/cell-phone-rules-for-kids-and-teens/
3) Offer to take a course like https://socialmediatestdrive.org/for_parents.html
4) Offer to make a media plan with the family - here's one you could use https://www.healthychildren.org/english/fmp/pages/mediaplan.aspx#/


In other words, make a grownup plan, do your homework, appeal to their intellect and impress them with your maturity and you might have a shot.
Anonymous
I can't reply to each comment, but they are all so helpful with examples and links. Please know that I am keeping all of this in mind, and checking out the websites.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There is no way a teen wrote this. I have teens. Really smart articulate ones. Nope, no way.


Yeah. This sounds like an adult pretending to be a teen....


I can't even defend myself anymore, but believe what you wanna. I'm a teen and that's a compliment to me Have a great rest of your day, and thank you if you offered any opinions/advice!


Busts out a “wanna” to prove us wrong. Listen, it’s fine you’re writing this as a teen for whatever reasons you have. But this reads like an adult who spends a lot of time on DCUM. 1000% not how articulate teens (who do not spend any time on message boards) write
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There is no way a teen wrote this. I have teens. Really smart articulate ones. Nope, no way.


Yeah. This sounds like an adult pretending to be a teen....


I can't even defend myself anymore, but believe what you wanna. I'm a teen and that's a compliment to me Have a great rest of your day, and thank you if you offered any opinions/advice!


Busts out a “wanna” to prove us wrong. Listen, it’s fine you’re writing this as a teen for whatever reasons you have. But this reads like an adult who spends a lot of time on DCUM. 1000% not how articulate teens (who do not spend any time on message boards) write


I'm truly a teen and not an adult. This is my first time on DCUM. But I also spend time on fandom.com, and if you are familiar, it's kinda like this. I appreciate you not minding that I have questions and looking for answers, even though I am not an adult. This is my first and likely last time on DCUM.
Anonymous
I’m the mom of an almost 14yo girl who is entering 9th grade (she’s very young for the grade). She got a phone - with major parental controls - in 7th grade when she turned 12. I was opposed to her getting an iPhone but she convinced my husband for a variety of reasons and I relented. She’s a responsible user but she is definitely on it more than I would like. She isn’t allowed any social media at all. She’s now asking for Snap because that’s the way “everyone” communicates but she’s not getting it or any social media til 16.

If your parents are reasonable people I would just approach them with the reasonable request and hope for the best. Do NOT get a burner phone or be a pain about it but hopefully they will let you get a phone, even if all you can do with it is call and text, which is pretty much what my daughter could do. She also is into taking photos and listening to music, and I appreciate being able to track her location - she travels on her own to school and afterschool activities so it’s nice to be able to see where she is. She’s a smart and trustworthy kid, especially for one who is young for her class (she’ll be 14 in October) but she’s been very mature about the phone.

We also make her put it to charge in the kitchen at 9pm every day and she doesn’t take it into her room unless she is doing homework on FaceTime. She has a 1hour time limit for texting so she has to ask permission if she goes beyond that. There are a lot of ways to keep reasonable limits for kids phone use.

Good luck with this and with school!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There is no way a teen wrote this. I have teens. Really smart articulate ones. Nope, no way.


Yeah. This sounds like an adult pretending to be a teen....


I can't even defend myself anymore, but believe what you wanna. I'm a teen and that's a compliment to me Have a great rest of your day, and thank you if you offered any opinions/advice!


Busts out a “wanna” to prove us wrong. Listen, it’s fine you’re writing this as a teen for whatever reasons you have. But this reads like an adult who spends a lot of time on DCUM. 1000% not how articulate teens (who do not spend any time on message boards) write


I'm truly a teen and not an adult. This is my first time on DCUM. But I also spend time on fandom.com, and if you are familiar, it's kinda like this. I appreciate you not minding that I have questions and looking for answers, even though I am not an adult. This is my first and likely last time on DCUM.


That's good. Most parents would not want their kids in here and would flag it as misuse of Internet time. More red flags mean more delays at getting a smart phone.

In other words, parents don't want their kids chatting with random strangers online.

And for the record, my kids and their friends with Apple watches are on group chats.
Anonymous
I have a 7th grader and a 10th grader and think OP could be real. I am very impressed with the writing style and maturity but my first thought was how much it reminds me of my 7th grade daughter. She loves writing and her gift of the English language far exceeds mine.

As a mom of two teens, I also understand why you want Snapchat and why parents are so afraid. Both of my kids use it and rarely text. Try using your same level of maturity to explain to your parents how it is used as the primary form of communication between teens, clubs and sports teams. Show them articles on how you can set it to save messages. Promise to give them all of your passwords and they can check it whenever they like. If this isn’t successful, ask them when they feel you will be allowed to have a phone so you can fully participate in the various social clubs at school. Even my high schoolers homeroom had their own Instagram page.
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