3 year old doesn’t care about being in trouble

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's desperately wanting your undivided attention and, from his perspective, he's nit getting any from you or at least not a lot.

So, negative attention (time outs, getting reprimanded) is better than no attention at all (in his little mind).

Try some consistent 1:1 play (no phone, no sneaking in a glance at dcum, no trying to do a chore while playing) with him for a good chunk of time.

Look. I want to blame myself for this too. But the reality is I’m a SAHM. They get quality 1:1 time with me A LOT. Am I perfect about my phone? Of course not. I am pretty F-ing good though. If my kid doesn’t get enough 1:1 attention, I don’t think it’s possible.

Is he in preschool or equivalent activities to keep him busy and not king of the world? If not, there is your problem.

Yes!!

Seriously, some of the parent-bashing is pathological around here.

DP, but chill out. It was a question. Little boys with SAHMs who are the center of their world and get tons of attention (as stated in the OP) are sometimes prone to this, so they asked the question.

You are in for a long haul in life if you think that was “pathological parent-bashing.” Lighten up.

Nah, I’m not the OP but I agree with her that this response was gratuitous and unhelpful bordering on misogyny. Not everything is the fault of smothering SAHMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read No Bad Kids. You need to change how you think about this and it requires you to understand where your kid is developmentally. In short, being in trouble does nothing to help them learn to do better - and learning to do better should be your real goal.

There certainly are some bad kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignore bad behavior

Ignore urinating in the floor? No way in Hell. If he wanted my attention, believe me, he would be able it in spades.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, I 1) sympathy. Your DS sounds like my 3.5 year old. I wouldnt say he’s bad (but I haven’t read the book), but he certainly has quite the twinkle when doing naughty things. I admit I’ve googled what sociopaths look like at age 3.
2) I’m also a sahm. He’s the 4th of 5.
3) +1 to the “not having buttons”. For my kid, the mischief always shifts to something else, but it’s likely he won’t pee on the floor anymore (or whatever I’m the issue is).
4) I had a sibling who was VERY similar. My mom worried he’d end up incarcerated. But he is AWESOME. Still a handful (in a good way).

[Anonymous]

^i mention that he’s one of many because 1) it’s clear to me that it’s not something I’m doing/not doing that is causing him to love mischief. Also, when people on this board deny your experience of having a mischievous child, they can be dismissed. Some children this age care very deeply about being “good” or following the rules; some care about hurting mom’s feelings or making her frustrated/angry. Some don’t care. Kids are different and I’ve never seen a one-size-fits-all parenting book. So as long as they are decently behaved in school, not hurting others/damaging property, etc, it’s fun to (inwardly) chuckle at this type of child and not worry too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My then 33 month old peed on the floor even with pants off at least a dozen times. I think it was some form of regression combined with his attention being absorbed by other things. I didn't treat it as a deliberate event, though. I didn't punish, just picked him up mid-stream sometimes and put him on the potty. I would tell him to stop peeing on the floor. And at some point, it just stopped. He's 37 months now and hasn't had an accident like that in months.

You’re not getting it.

This was not an accident. This was a 3 year old making the decision to pee on the floor because he didn’t like what mom was doing. (Closing the door to go to the bathroom.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My then 33 month old peed on the floor even with pants off at least a dozen times. I think it was some form of regression combined with his attention being absorbed by other things. I didn't treat it as a deliberate event, though. I didn't punish, just picked him up mid-stream sometimes and put him on the potty. I would tell him to stop peeing on the floor. And at some point, it just stopped. He's 37 months now and hasn't had an accident like that in months.

You’re not getting it.

This was not an accident. This was a 3 year old making the decision to pee on the floor because he didn’t like what mom was doing. (Closing the door to go to the bathroom.)

No, I get it. I never treated my son's accidents as deliberate provocations or payback for something I was doing/wasn't doing. I can't go down that road with him.