3 year old doesn’t care about being in trouble

[Anonymous]

What do I do about my maniacal three year old who cackles with glee when I get mad and doesn’t care at all about time outs? I’m honestly at a loss to come up with consequences this kid cares about. I feel like 1-2-3 magic, everything I’ve read depends on the kid caring that they’re in trouble, or that something has been taken away?

[Anonymous]

Welcome to the terrible threes. What kind of trouble is he getting into? The trick is not to show your frustration, they feed off of it.

[Anonymous]

OP what are some specific scenarios?

[Anonymous]

Read No Bad Kids. You need to change how you think about this and it requires you to understand where your kid is developmentally. In short, being in trouble does nothing to help them learn to do better - and learning to do better should be your real goal.

[Anonymous]

What does he not like? Find away to turn that into a natural consequence of whatever he’s in trouble for.

[Anonymous]

Give attention to good behavior and don't give attention to bad behavior. If he is being rough or taking toys from another child, praise the other child for acting nicely. Praise praise praise good behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read No Bad Kids. You need to change how you think about this and it requires you to understand where your kid is developmentally. In short, being in trouble does nothing to help them learn to do better - and learning to do better should be your real goal.

+1 for No Bad Kids. Absolute game changer for this age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read No Bad Kids. You need to change how you think about this and it requires you to understand where your kid is developmentally. In short, being in trouble does nothing to help them learn to do better - and learning to do better should be your real goal.

+1 for No Bad Kids. Absolute game changer for this age.

It really is, it takes so much stress and struggle out of the equation for both the parent and child. Also as someone who manages people at work, and it exhausts my executive function, I really needed a framework where I am not constantly tracking punishments, rewards, time outs, issuing threats, etc. I don’t have it left in me at the end of the day to complete a sticker chart or have my precious little time with my kids be half spent with them in “time out.” So, this works really well because it gets good results but lets me be my kids’ ally and teacher rather than their judge and jury.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read No Bad Kids. You need to change how you think about this and it requires you to understand where your kid is developmentally. In short, being in trouble does nothing to help them learn to do better - and learning to do better should be your real goal.

+1 for No Bad Kids. Absolute game changer for this age.

Yes, I am a responsible elder millennial parent and I have read No Bad Kids, a few times!!

The scenario is peeing on the floor on purpose. They do it to push my buttons, and they love cleaning it up.

[Anonymous]

Carrots instead of sticks. I like the way you put your shoes in the basket by the door. I like the way you brought your plate to the sink after breakfast - thank you.

Work hard to catch them doing good and comment about it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read No Bad Kids. You need to change how you think about this and it requires you to understand where your kid is developmentally. In short, being in trouble does nothing to help them learn to do better - and learning to do better should be your real goal.

+1 for No Bad Kids. Absolute game changer for this age.

Yes, I am a responsible elder millennial parent and I have read No Bad Kids, a few times!!

The scenario is peeing on the floor on purpose. They do it to push my buttons, and they love cleaning it up.

Throw away your buttons.
They'll get bored of pushing nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read No Bad Kids. You need to change how you think about this and it requires you to understand where your kid is developmentally. In short, being in trouble does nothing to help them learn to do better - and learning to do better should be your real goal.

+1 for No Bad Kids. Absolute game changer for this age.

Yes, I am a responsible elder millennial parent and I have read No Bad Kids, a few times!!

The scenario is peeing on the floor on purpose. They do it to push my buttons, and they love cleaning it up.

Throw away your buttons.
They'll get bored of pushing nothing.

+1 Don't react.

[Anonymous]

Btw read about PCIT. It is the gold standard for behavior issues in young children. It does involve consequences but also preps kids to respond to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Carrots instead of sticks. I like the way you put your shoes in the basket by the door. I like the way you brought your plate to the sink after breakfast - thank you.

Work hard to catch them doing good and comment about it

+1 this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read No Bad Kids. You need to change how you think about this and it requires you to understand where your kid is developmentally. In short, being in trouble does nothing to help them learn to do better - and learning to do better should be your real goal.

+1 for No Bad Kids. Absolute game changer for this age.

Yes, I am a responsible elder millennial parent and I have read No Bad Kids, a few times!!

The scenario is peeing on the floor on purpose. They do it to push my buttons, and they love cleaning it up.

I guess they can’t go to the playground any more because they aren’t able to control their bladder and must be sick. And mom has no time to play with them because she has to clean up. And yes, the next time they go an hour without peeing on the floor, praise them for it and do something special with them.

Also I’m sorry that would absolutely drive me batty too.