Poorly behaved houseguests

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It is my inlaws. They got here Saturday, were only supposed to stay the weekend before visitsing other relatives, but the day before they arrived told us they wanted to spend extra time in DC, and we obliged. They're supposed to be leaving tomorrow (fingers crossed), but then they also said they would be back in DC on Friday or Saturday, implying that they would be staying with us again, before going home on Monday. I think we're just going to say it's been too disruptive for our 2yo (which is true!) and get them a hotel (spouse feels too bad about it so we will likely just pay).

I see the recommendation of asking the parents to tell their kid to behave, which seems kind of awkward to me. The parents will be in the same room, right next to their kid, as he's kicking a piece of furniture and not say a thing about it. So I've just been taking it upon myself. The end is hopefully in sight at least.

Of course it’s the in laws! DCUM women are the most intolerant of in laws of any set of women on the planet!

How is that some sort of gotcha? I would be perturbed if anyone, no matter the relationship, behaved that way. I just feel more awkward about telling them to shape up since they’re not my family. Also, how have I been intolerant? They’re being allowed to relax while my spouse and I are the only ones giving their kid any attention as he runs amok in our house.

Because I guarantee that if it were your family and not your in law you’d think it’s cute.

NP. My sister has two cool kids and one bratty one. My SIL has two cool kids and one bratty one. My cousin has two great kids; DH’s cousin has two great kids. It’s nothing to do with relation to me, it’s just how the kids are. At least my sister and my SIL both, and their respective spouses, are on it with the bratty kid behavior and don’t need to be told to stay on top of their kids’ behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It is my inlaws. They got here Saturday, were only supposed to stay the weekend before visitsing other relatives, but the day before they arrived told us they wanted to spend extra time in DC, and we obliged. They're supposed to be leaving tomorrow (fingers crossed), but then they also said they would be back in DC on Friday or Saturday, implying that they would be staying with us again, before going home on Monday. I think we're just going to say it's been too disruptive for our 2yo (which is true!) and get them a hotel (spouse feels too bad about it so we will likely just pay).

I see the recommendation of asking the parents to tell their kid to behave, which seems kind of awkward to me. The parents will be in the same room, right next to their kid, as he's kicking a piece of furniture and not say a thing about it. So I've just been taking it upon myself. The end is hopefully in sight at least.

Of course it’s the in laws! DCUM women are the most intolerant of in laws of any set of women on the planet!

How is that some sort of gotcha? I would be perturbed if anyone, no matter the relationship, behaved that way. I just feel more awkward about telling them to shape up since they’re not my family. Also, how have I been intolerant? They’re being allowed to relax while my spouse and I are the only ones giving their kid any attention as he runs amok in our house.

Because I guarantee that if it were your family and not your in law you’d think it’s cute.

DP but no way. I can’t stand entitled or rude houseguests, where it’s my family or my in laws.

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened to the tough guy post claiming they threw guests out of their house twice and made them stay in a hotel?

NP. What do you mean “what happened”? They said what they did, and apparently didn’t feel the need to respond when some dolt said “no you didn’t.” That’s what I do with trolls who falsely accuse me of this or that on DCUM: I ignore them.

They lied. Didn’t throw two different house guests out and make them get a hotel. The posts where they claimed they did were deleted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have vacationed with relatives who practice "gentle parenting" and don't believe you should say no to their child, so will correct us when we correct the child for - biting, going in the pool w/out a life jacket when they can't swim, throwing food at the table, throwing sand in everyone's eyes, having to watch the same movie upwards of 20 times in one beach week on the one tv, etc.. Interestingly they are very free with the commentary on what my kids can do to improve their behavior. The child is in preschool and away from the parents listens quite well, but if they are around is a terror

What they are doing is not gentle parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It is my inlaws. They got here Saturday, were only supposed to stay the weekend before visitsing other relatives, but the day before they arrived told us they wanted to spend extra time in DC, and we obliged. They're supposed to be leaving tomorrow (fingers crossed), but then they also said they would be back in DC on Friday or Saturday, implying that they would be staying with us again, before going home on Monday. I think we're just going to say it's been too disruptive for our 2yo (which is true!) and get them a hotel (spouse feels too bad about it so we will likely just pay).

I see the recommendation of asking the parents to tell their kid to behave, which seems kind of awkward to me. The parents will be in the same room, right next to their kid, as he's kicking a piece of furniture and not say a thing about it. So I've just been taking it upon myself. The end is hopefully in sight at least.

“Bart, we do not kick furniture, it hurts it. We are gentle with our things. There are coloring books in the table, what picture can you draw me??”
“Ummmm, Larla and Bart Sr. I really need you to please pay closer attention to junior, as I’ve had to correct him way too many times”
Yea, people who fail to correct and guide their kid in my home, I have little patience!

[Anonymous]

Becky get your kid!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened to the tough guy post claiming they threw guests out of their house twice and made them stay in a hotel?

NP. What do you mean “what happened”? They said what they did, and apparently didn’t feel the need to respond when some dolt said “no you didn’t.” That’s what I do with trolls who falsely accuse me of this or that on DCUM: I ignore them.

They lied. Didn’t throw two different house guests out and make them get a hotel. The posts where they claimed they did were deleted.

Because they were attached (as a response) to the use of profanity in the form of spelled-out “BS,” yes? Yes. You don’t get to drop profanity and then smugly say the response posts were deleted—they were deleted because of the profanity.

[Anonymous]

Rufus, if Homer jumps on my counter one more time, there will be problems.

[Anonymous]

Susie and Jim get off your a**!

[Anonymous]

Your husband is crazy to think he has to run a hotel abd those folks are coming back.
Nopeeeeeeee

[Anonymous]

Your DH needs to do some correcting so you’re not portrayed as the nag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe all these replies. Presumably you allowed them to visit and stay with you? They didn't just shop up? Seriously, just nicely ask the kid to change the behavior if it's really bad. Tell him the rules and ask him to comply. Do it nicely and get over it. It's a few days and these people are obviously part of your life. Just be courteous and patient for a few days. I would never ever behave the way some posters are suggesting. If you do or say those things to those parents, particularly suggesting they leave because of their kid's behavior, that relationship will be over forever. I would guess the guests are your really your spouse's and you're looking to judge, though, too, right?

We get it. You’re a doormat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We tell the parents to handle it. "Dave, please keep Roger from jumping on the couch. That's not allowed in this house." "Dorinda, Roger purposely poured his juice all over the floor - the paper towels are over there and the mop is in the closet where the laundry is."

And then we hustle them out ASAP. "It seems like Roger is really not enjoying himself here, and it's straining the visit. Maybe you guys would be more comfortable in a hotel."

NP - love all this.

No way. That is all insanely rude. If you can't deal with differences in people, then do not have houseguests. Like seriously, chill out about all your rules for a few days.

Hi! It’s you again and you’re still ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened to the tough guy post claiming they threw guests out of their house twice and made them stay in a hotel?

NP. What do you mean “what happened”? They said what they did, and apparently didn’t feel the need to respond when some dolt said “no you didn’t.” That’s what I do with trolls who falsely accuse me of this or that on DCUM: I ignore them.

They lied. Didn’t throw two different house guests out and make them get a hotel. The posts where they claimed they did were deleted.

Because they were attached (as a response) to the use of profanity in the form of spelled-out “BS,” yes? Yes. You don’t get to drop profanity and then smugly say the response posts were deleted—they were deleted because of the profanity.

FYI, the deleted word is acceptable on DCUM and not subject to automatic deletion. Otherwise it wouldn’t have made it past the filter in the first place.

Not saying that the posts should or should not have been deleted, but they were deleted for other reasons.

- NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe all these replies. Presumably you allowed them to visit and stay with you? They didn't just shop up? Seriously, just nicely ask the kid to change the behavior if it's really bad. Tell him the rules and ask him to comply. Do it nicely and get over it. It's a few days and these people are obviously part of your life. Just be courteous and patient for a few days. I would never ever behave the way some posters are suggesting. If you do or say those things to those parents, particularly suggesting they leave because of their kid's behavior, that relationship will be over forever. I would guess the guests are your really your spouse's and you're looking to judge, though, too, right?

You do realize that...OP has already tried this approach, yes? And it hasn't work.

So now it's time to try another tactic, right? That's what we are suggesting.

And no, it's actually not being courteous to teach this kid and his parents that they can roll up and act like this in someone's home, to the point of being destructive and disruptive. You're the type who confuses "being courteous" with "being a doormat." Those are two different things.

I know it very well. I also know how not to walk around with a stick in my...

Stick or not, it’s impressive how you can walk around when you’re a Giant Doormat.