Busy with sports....every weekend of their lives???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I said no to a travel team for my 10 year old DS for this reason. It would have been every Sunday for the whole spring and summer. So no travel, no family weekends (extended family), no lazy Sundays…I just couldn’t do it.

I can understand feeling this way but your son is still young and your feelings might change. We know of 2 families that said this about baseball and changed their minds in 6th grade. Both kids played several years of travel and now play HS. A lot of kids will choose to play travel so they can be competitive for HS tryouts. I know my son’s HS soccer team is 100% travel players.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm happy for the people who love it. They found their thing and they're getting the most out of it.

I'm confused about the people who don't like it but continue to do it. It's optional. You can stop any time. There are loads of successful adults in the world who never played on expensive, time-sucking travel sports teams. What exactly are you afraid will happen if you just stop?

It's one thing to never start, but taking away a sport that your kid loves and pores their heart into is another thing entirely.

A kid who knows he is not going to be a recruited athlete can understand that his travel sport is causing undue hardship on the family, and can find other activities.

Kids may understand that, and feel heartbroken by it nonetheless, and most parents seek to avoid that especially when the activity involves physical activity, the outdoors, friendships, mental stimulation - all every positive things.

it's unfortunate that there are parents like this who seek to avoid hurting one kid's feeling at the expense of the entire family's well-being.

It's not so black and white. The undue hardship may not be as hard as it seems to someone looking from the outside looking in. Perhaps the family is not giving up as much as you think they are. Some people just like to whine and make it seem like they are moving heaven and earth.

I have seen families do some pretty crazy stuff to accommodate one child's travel sport at the expense of other children. Like moving, uprooting the other children from a school they were doing well at in the middle of the school year. And it's not just sports. There are families who do this for one child's acting or modeling or other hobby that could lead to a lucrative adult career, but is statistically very unlikely. This article confirms things I have witnessed among my neighbors, DC's classmates and former classmates. It may not be the norm, but it certainly can become a problem for families who fall into a lopsided power balance where one child's hobbies dominate.

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/08/kids-youth-competitive-sports-programs/671034/

[Anonymous]

I feel bad for kids whose parents say no to travel sports if the kid actually has some potential. My SIL and husband had a no travel sports policy. This was fine for two of their kids who lacked the talent and discipline to be really good. But I think the middle child missed out. He has the athleticism and more importantly the discipline that probably would have taken him far. Maybe some of you here never had this experience, but it’s really a great feeling to work hard and achieve things you never thought were possible in an activity that you are “all in” on. Being a serious athlete gave me a purpose and sense of identity that “just” being good at school didn’t give me. My family didn’t make any crazy sacrifices other than some lost time and sleep. It wasn’t clear that I would be recruited until at least halfway through HS. If my parents had said no before then I never would have had the opportunity. I know there’s a lot of BS with travel sports these days and it’s time consuming depending on the sport — seeing it now as a parent. But I want to give my child the chance to be challenged while doing something they really enjoy and see what they learn about themselves and how far it takes them. There is a benefit to the goal setting and training even if they fall short of making the HS team/elite team/college. I would do the same if they loved music or dance or whatever. Before I know it I will have all the time I want for lazy Sundays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I said no to a travel team for my 10 year old DS for this reason. It would have been every Sunday for the whole spring and summer. So no travel, no family weekends (extended family), no lazy Sundays…I just couldn’t do it.

I can understand feeling this way but your son is still young and your feelings might change. We know of 2 families that said this about baseball and changed their minds in 6th grade. Both kids played several years of travel and now play HS. A lot of kids will choose to play travel so they can be competitive for HS tryouts. I know my son’s HS soccer team is 100% travel players.

HS tryouts and MS leading into tryouts is where a lot kids and parents realized they made a mistake, but it works in both directions. For popular sports, non-travel has almost no chance of making it, but there are also kids who did travel so that they could play HS who will also get cut.

[Anonymous]

Quick answer is most of these players will not play for HS teams and quit their sport altogether by MS.

[Anonymous]

Recommend the book Take Back the Game, the author is a coach and has three kids, one who was exceptional at sports.

A close look at how big money and high stakes have transformed youth sports, turning once healthy, fun activities for kids into all-consuming endeavors—putting stress on children and families alike

Some 75% of American families want their kids to play sports. Athletics are training grounds for character, friendship, and connection; at their best, sports insulate kids from hardship and prepare them for adult life. But youth sports have changed so dramatically over the last 25 years that they no longer deliver the healthy outcomes everyone wants. Instead, unbeknownst to most parents, kids who play competitive organized sports are more likely to burn out or suffer from overuse injuries than to develop their characters or build healthy habits. What happened to kids' sports? And how can we make them fun again?

In Take Back the Game, coach and journalist Linda Flanagan reveals how the youth sports industry capitalizes on parents’ worry about their kids’ futures, selling the idea that more competitive play is essential in the feeding frenzy over access to colleges and universities. Drawing on her experience as a coach and a parent, along with research and expert analysis, Flanagan delves into a national obsession that has:
Compelled kids to specialize year-round in one sport.
Increased the risk of both physical injury and mental health problems.
Encouraged egregious behavior by coaches and parents.
Reduced access to sports for low-income families.
A provocative and timely entrant into a conversation thousands of parents are having on the sidelines, Take Back the Game uncovers how youth sports became a serious business, the consequences of raising the stakes for kids and parents alike--and the changes we need now.
Read less

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quick answer is most of these players will not play for HS teams and quit their sport altogether by MS.

90 percent won’t play high school 99.9999 percent won’t play d1 college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I said no to a travel team for my 10 year old DS for this reason. It would have been every Sunday for the whole spring and summer. So no travel, no family weekends (extended family), no lazy Sundays…I just couldn’t do it.

I can understand feeling this way but your son is still young and your feelings might change. We know of 2 families that said this about baseball and changed their minds in 6th grade. Both kids played several years of travel and now play HS. A lot of kids will choose to play travel so they can be competitive for HS tryouts. I know my son’s HS soccer team is 100% travel players.

HS tryouts and MS leading into tryouts is where a lot kids and parents realized they made a mistake, but it works in both directions. For popular sports, non-travel has almost no chance of making it, but there are also kids who did travel so that they could play HS who will also get cut.

This is 100% true. It goes both ways.

[Anonymous]

Hundreds upon hundreds of people in this area do it. To the detriment of the kids social lives and the parents' marriages. Take a look at how many people divorce after their superstar athlete children go to or get out of college. They have no more glue and had no time to develop shared interests. In my opinion. Lots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quick answer is most of these players will not play for HS teams and quit their sport altogether by MS.

This is certainly true if you are looking at a group of 2nd graders. But if you are talking about kids who are expressing interest/dedication to a particular sport at age 10, I think you are overestimating. My travel soccer player’s friends who played baseball, soccer or basketball have mostly remained committed to their sports. However, when you hit MS/HS it becomes nearly impossible to be a multi-sport athlete so we saw a lot of kids drop one sport but not drop every sport. This is in no way scientiific but I would say maybe 25% of kids we knew totally dropped sports in HS but that was for a very wide-range of reasons (cuts, academics, change of interests, and yes some burnout). My oldest didn’t play travel sports but select soccer and baseball and played enthusiastically throughout middle school. But by HS there was nowhere left for him to play. His soccer team disbanded and he aged out of select baseball and knew he wouldn’t make his school teams.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm happy for the people who love it. They found their thing and they're getting the most out of it.

I'm confused about the people who don't like it but continue to do it. It's optional. You can stop any time. There are loads of successful adults in the world who never played on expensive, time-sucking travel sports teams. What exactly are you afraid will happen if you just stop?

It's one thing to never start, but taking away a sport that your kid loves and pores their heart into is another thing entirely.

A kid who knows he is not going to be a recruited athlete can understand that his travel sport is causing undue hardship on the family, and can find other activities.

Kids may understand that, and feel heartbroken by it nonetheless, and most parents seek to avoid that especially when the activity involves physical activity, the outdoors, friendships, mental stimulation - all every positive things.

it's unfortunate that there are parents like this who seek to avoid hurting one kid's feeling at the expense of the entire family's well-being.

It's not so black and white. The undue hardship may not be as hard as it seems to someone looking from the outside looking in. Perhaps the family is not giving up as much as you think they are. Some people just like to whine and make it seem like they are moving heaven and earth.

I have seen families do some pretty crazy stuff to accommodate one child's travel sport at the expense of other children. Like moving, uprooting the other children from a school they were doing well at in the middle of the school year. And it's not just sports. There are families who do this for one child's acting or modeling or other hobby that could lead to a lucrative adult career, but is statistically very unlikely. This article confirms things I have witnessed among my neighbors, DC's classmates and former classmates. It may not be the norm, but it certainly can become a problem for families who fall into a lopsided power balance where one child's hobbies dominate.

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/08/kids-youth-competitive-sports-programs/671034/

This is the case for the sport DS excels in. There is almost no way to get better without moving, although a big reason is weather-related. Most of the kids at the middle school level that are world-class are also homeschooled. It's a unique situation because in his sport you can only do one part of it until you are 15 before you move to the next level. I can't believe the number of 13/14 year olds I have met that are doing a "gap year" to train fulltime. We will never be able to keep up between cost and jobs. DS knows this, but it still bums us all out, because he has potential. The good news is he can do his sports basically forever at all levels and also there is almost no earning potential, so it's purely for the love of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm happy for the people who love it. They found their thing and they're getting the most out of it.

I'm confused about the people who don't like it but continue to do it. It's optional. You can stop any time. There are loads of successful adults in the world who never played on expensive, time-sucking travel sports teams. What exactly are you afraid will happen if you just stop?

It's one thing to never start, but taking away a sport that your kid loves and pores their heart into is another thing entirely.

A kid who knows he is not going to be a recruited athlete can understand that his travel sport is causing undue hardship on the family, and can find other activities.

Kids may understand that, and feel heartbroken by it nonetheless, and most parents seek to avoid that especially when the activity involves physical activity, the outdoors, friendships, mental stimulation - all every positive things.

it's unfortunate that there are parents like this who seek to avoid hurting one kid's feeling at the expense of the entire family's well-being.

It's not so black and white. The undue hardship may not be as hard as it seems to someone looking from the outside looking in. Perhaps the family is not giving up as much as you think they are. Some people just like to whine and make it seem like they are moving heaven and earth.

I have seen families do some pretty crazy stuff to accommodate one child's travel sport at the expense of other children. Like moving, uprooting the other children from a school they were doing well at in the middle of the school year. And it's not just sports. There are families who do this for one child's acting or modeling or other hobby that could lead to a lucrative adult career, but is statistically very unlikely. This article confirms things I have witnessed among my neighbors, DC's classmates and former classmates. It may not be the norm, but it certainly can become a problem for families who fall into a lopsided power balance where one child's hobbies dominate.

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/08/kids-youth-competitive-sports-programs/671034/

This is the case for the sport DS excels in. There is almost no way to get better without moving, although a big reason is weather-related. Most of the kids at the middle school level that are world-class are also homeschooled. It's a unique situation because in his sport you can only do one part of it until you are 15 before you move to the next level. I can't believe the number of 13/14 year olds I have met that are doing a "gap year" to train fulltime. We will never be able to keep up between cost and jobs. DS knows this, but it still bums us all out, because he has potential. The good news is he can do his sports basically forever at all levels and also there is almost no earning potential, so it's purely for the love of it.

PP - I should add, I also did this sport and when DS started we did not realize how much it had changed and the geographic restrictions we had. But ultimately he loves it, just won't get to the world championship level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm happy for the people who love it. They found their thing and they're getting the most out of it.

I'm confused about the people who don't like it but continue to do it. It's optional. You can stop any time. There are loads of successful adults in the world who never played on expensive, time-sucking travel sports teams. What exactly are you afraid will happen if you just stop?

It's one thing to never start, but taking away a sport that your kid loves and pores their heart into is another thing entirely.

A kid who knows he is not going to be a recruited athlete can understand that his travel sport is causing undue hardship on the family, and can find other activities.

Kids may understand that, and feel heartbroken by it nonetheless, and most parents seek to avoid that especially when the activity involves physical activity, the outdoors, friendships, mental stimulation - all every positive things.

it's unfortunate that there are parents like this who seek to avoid hurting one kid's feeling at the expense of the entire family's well-being.

It's not so black and white. The undue hardship may not be as hard as it seems to someone looking from the outside looking in. Perhaps the family is not giving up as much as you think they are. Some people just like to whine and make it seem like they are moving heaven and earth.

I have seen families do some pretty crazy stuff to accommodate one child's travel sport at the expense of other children. Like moving, uprooting the other children from a school they were doing well at in the middle of the school year. And it's not just sports. There are families who do this for one child's acting or modeling or other hobby that could lead to a lucrative adult career, but is statistically very unlikely. This article confirms things I have witnessed among my neighbors, DC's classmates and former classmates. It may not be the norm, but it certainly can become a problem for families who fall into a lopsided power balance where one child's hobbies dominate.

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/08/kids-youth-competitive-sports-programs/671034/

This is the case for the sport DS excels in. There is almost no way to get better without moving, although a big reason is weather-related. Most of the kids at the middle school level that are world-class are also homeschooled. It's a unique situation because in his sport you can only do one part of it until you are 15 before you move to the next level. I can't believe the number of 13/14 year olds I have met that are doing a "gap year" to train fulltime. We will never be able to keep up between cost and jobs. DS knows this, but it still bums us all out, because he has potential. The good news is he can do his sports basically forever at all levels and also there is almost no earning potential, so it's purely for the love of it.

Pickleball sucks

[Anonymous]

Yes, it’s every weekend in season. Both of my sons play baseball. Both love it.

They can stop whenever they want.

There are levels of travel. A lot of the local travel leagues are county based and are basically non-profits. The fees pay for tournaments, umps, supplies, fields, etc. it’s when you move to Stars, Five Star, Marucci, etc, is the money grab. They make money off the fees, uniforms, and whatever else they can come up with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quick answer is most of these players will not play for HS teams and quit their sport altogether by MS.

You post this on these threads all the time. My niece plays travel softball. Moving up to 18U this season. of the 15 girls on her team, 8 have been on that team since 10U!!! Of the 12 girls who were on her 10U team, every single one of them is still playing travel, though one took a break for a year.