Busy with sports....every weekend of their lives???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are an equestrian family and travel softball. A very real sort of crazy. We are hitching up horses, mucking stalls, and trailering horses and one parent stays at the show from the crack of dawn until noon while the other parent goes back and gets the other kid to a softball game in another state. This goes on for a while and then in the winter we all rest. The shows stop and it is all practice in the indoor ring. Softball is now reduced to gym training and conditioning. Then, spring comes and we do it all again. I do not even want to total up the amount of time nor money that we spend. It is worth it though, as DD got a scholarship for a college of her choice in the fall for Ag studies. For the softballer, we have two more years.

This sounds like holy torture

NP.

Yeah,

It's much better to spend endless hours on DCUM reading about other people's lives.

Is that what you do? 🤔

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are an equestrian family and travel softball. A very real sort of crazy. We are hitching up horses, mucking stalls, and trailering horses and one parent stays at the show from the crack of dawn until noon while the other parent goes back and gets the other kid to a softball game in another state. This goes on for a while and then in the winter we all rest. The shows stop and it is all practice in the indoor ring. Softball is now reduced to gym training and conditioning. Then, spring comes and we do it all again. I do not even want to total up the amount of time nor money that we spend. It is worth it though, as DD got a scholarship for a college of her choice in the fall for Ag studies. For the softballer, we have two more years.

This sounds like holy torture

NP.

Yeah,

It's much better to spend endless hours on DCUM reading about other people's lives.

Is that what you do? 🤔

Yes, but luckily I only need 5 hours of sleep, so I still have lots of time for " crazy" travel sports. And DH does a lot of the driving too, and he still finds time to watch a lot of junk on TV.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I'm happy for the people who love it. They found their thing and they're getting the most out of it.

I'm confused about the people who don't like it but continue to do it. It's optional. You can stop any time. There are loads of successful adults in the world who never played on expensive, time-sucking travel sports teams. What exactly are you afraid will happen if you just stop?

It's one thing to never start, but taking away a sport that your kid loves and pores their heart into is another thing entirely.

A kid who knows he is not going to be a recruited athlete can understand that his travel sport is causing undue hardship on the family, and can find other activities.

Kids may understand that, and feel heartbroken by it nonetheless, and most parents seek to avoid that especially when the activity involves physical activity, the outdoors, friendships, mental stimulation - all every positive things.

it's unfortunate that there are parents like this who seek to avoid hurting one kid's feeling at the expense of the entire family's well-being.

It's not so black and white. The undue hardship may not be as hard as it seems to someone looking from the outside looking in. Perhaps the family is not giving up as much as you think they are. Some people just like to whine and make it seem like they are moving heaven and earth.

I have seen families do some pretty crazy stuff to accommodate one child's travel sport at the expense of other children. Like moving, uprooting the other children from a school they were doing well at in the middle of the school year. And it's not just sports. There are families who do this for one child's acting or modeling or other hobby that could lead to a lucrative adult career, but is statistically very unlikely. This article confirms things I have witnessed among my neighbors, DC's classmates and former classmates. It may not be the norm, but it certainly can become a problem for families who fall into a lopsided power balance where one child's hobbies dominate.

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/08/kids-youth-competitive-sports-programs/671034/

This is the case for the sport DS excels in. There is almost no way to get better without moving, although a big reason is weather-related. Most of the kids at the middle school level that are world-class are also homeschooled. It's a unique situation because in his sport you can only do one part of it until you are 15 before you move to the next level. I can't believe the number of 13/14 year olds I have met that are doing a "gap year" to train fulltime. We will never be able to keep up between cost and jobs. DS knows this, but it still bums us all out, because he has potential. The good news is he can do his sports basically forever at all levels and also there is almost no earning potential, so it's purely for the love of it.

Deep-sea pickleball? You gotta tell us the sport. I am drawing a blank with all the clues.

LOL, deep-sea pickleball would be amazing! Although you technically got half of it correct since it does involve the ocean. But it's sailing, and specifically a boat call an Optimist. You either age out (can't turn 16 that calendar year) or size out (over 120lbs makes it difficult). There are many other boats of course to sail, but this is the top junior one in the world. Before anyone tells me it's not a sport, go here - https://www.optiworld.org/

[Anonymous]

I will say this: As someone with kids in their late teens, the families I know whose kids were into sports and did a lot of tournaments in general seem like closer and more stable families than the ones who were talking loudly about how their kids were free range and unscheduled when their kids were young. But that’s probably because people who make a point of telling the world about their parenting are, as a general rule, bad parents.

[Anonymous]

One thing about travel sports is to focus on how much of a weekend day they actually take up. Our child has a handful of tournaments throughout the season, and of course those take a full weekend, but they are also fun and social for both kids and adults.

On the other hand, for normal weekend games, even if they are an hour away in, say, Virginia (we are in Maryland), there is still PLENTY of time left in a day to do other things.

I don't get the constant automatic response that all this is only because parents are living vicariously through their kids. Everyone is having a great time, the kids are getting exercise and learning the skills associated with competition and team play. As parents, we get to cheer on our kids and hang out with other parents who have become our friends. It was a lifesaver for everyone during the pandemic. Not sure why anyone would begrudge that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will say this: As someone with kids in their late teens, the families I know whose kids were into sports and did a lot of tournaments in general seem like closer and more stable families than the ones who were talking loudly about how their kids were free range and unscheduled when their kids were young. But that’s probably because people who make a point of telling the world about their parenting are, as a general rule, bad parents.

I don't know about that, what makes you say that? Also, activities aren't a bad thing, but kids in general are way too busy. Too little free play, free time imo. I don't believe kids should be too busy until high school. Younger kids deserve to be kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will say this: As someone with kids in their late teens, the families I know whose kids were into sports and did a lot of tournaments in general seem like closer and more stable families than the ones who were talking loudly about how their kids were free range and unscheduled when their kids were young. But that’s probably because people who make a point of telling the world about their parenting are, as a general rule, bad parents.

I don't know about that, what makes you say that? Also, activities aren't a bad thing, but kids in general are way too busy. Too little free play, free time imo. I don't believe kids should be too busy until high school. Younger kids deserve to be kids.

I said this before, but I think travel sports actually leave way more time for other things than people think. Our friends whose kids don't do sports seem to think when our kids have games that an entire weekend day is shot, which is typically not the case. They will typically have a game in the morning (or afternoon), and then still hours to laze around and read, play with friends in the neighborhood, do screen time, etc etc and otherwise 'just be kids."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will say this: As someone with kids in their late teens, the families I know whose kids were into sports and did a lot of tournaments in general seem like closer and more stable families than the ones who were talking loudly about how their kids were free range and unscheduled when their kids were young. But that’s probably because people who make a point of telling the world about their parenting are, as a general rule, bad parents.

Because we are together a lot! And all those drives together in the car talking. Lunches between games. We also discuss the sport. My sons loved having me watch…and their grandparents too. My sons are now 15 and 18 and very close to us and each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will say this: As someone with kids in their late teens, the families I know whose kids were into sports and did a lot of tournaments in general seem like closer and more stable families than the ones who were talking loudly about how their kids were free range and unscheduled when their kids were young. But that’s probably because people who make a point of telling the world about their parenting are, as a general rule, bad parents.

I don't know about that, what makes you say that? Also, activities aren't a bad thing, but kids in general are way too busy. Too little free play, free time imo. I don't believe kids should be too busy until high school. Younger kids deserve to be kids.

I said this before, but I think travel sports actually leave way more time for other things than people think. Our friends whose kids don't do sports seem to think when our kids have games that an entire weekend day is shot, which is typically not the case. They will typically have a game in the morning (or afternoon), and then still hours to laze around and read, play with friends in the neighborhood, do screen time, etc etc and otherwise 'just be kids."

Yep my teen is literally hopping out of the car into his bike to go meet friends at the park after a game. He has lots of time with friends outside of his team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if this is parenting or sports related but I think it goes here...
10-year-old just started playing a travel sport (late add to a team) and we've been doing tournaments most every weekend. They're "local" but involve an hour or so drive. Kid loves it, and I love watching kid play...but I began to wonder if they're able to keep this up year after year after year. Don't the kids..and the parents..go insane with this kind of schedule? We have friends whose kids started at age 8. How do they keep it up for 10 years???

Back to the original question, you may or may not have to keep it up. Some kids quit travel, not always due to burn out, sometimes interests change or their skills don't progress enough.
A tournament every weekend sounds like a lot and I would hope that's not year round.
I didn't grow up this way but after seven years I've learned to appreciate the time and mutual interests we all share. As well as the life lessons any extracurricular commitment teaches.
We've always made clear as long as school didn't suffer and they put in the effort and had the drive we'd support them. Every year we talk as a family about accepting a team offer, it's both time and money and we're in if they're in.
Maybe I sleep a little less or don't read as many books as I'd like, but I can see that time is short and those books can wait. When your teenager still asks to sleep in their uniform so they can be ready faster for an early game, it's hard not to support their passion.
I don't think my kids will go D1 and we'll never make back the money spent, no one is living vicariously over here. But I don't think I'll regret this time, long car rides, weird hotels, getting to know other parents and kids...I think I'll miss it when it ends.
To each their own.

[Anonymous]

Not all travel teams are the same. Ours does fall tournaments Sept thru early Nov and then spring tournaments April - July. August, December are completely off and the rest of the time it’s just 2 practices a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if this is parenting or sports related but I think it goes here...
10-year-old just started playing a travel sport (late add to a team) and we've been doing tournaments most every weekend. They're "local" but involve an hour or so drive. Kid loves it, and I love watching kid play...but I began to wonder if they're able to keep this up year after year after year. Don't the kids..and the parents..go insane with this kind of schedule? We have friends whose kids started at age 8. How do they keep it up for 10 years???

They live vicariously through their unathletic kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They burn out and stop doing it well before that usually. The kids stops wanting to do it. A lot of them burn out late middle school/early high school.

This!

[Anonymous]

Well, I’ll be the first to acknowledge that travel baseball can take up a lot of time. It all depends on your team and how the coach chooses to structure games. We have doubleheaders on Sundays and one mid-week single game. The DHs can easily take 6 hours of the day but there are still plenty of hours left in the day!

Some teams do only single games so even less time commitment. My son’s team isn’t a tournament-only team so we generally play 4 tournaments a season. Believe it or not, the kids really look forward to it and have a great time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Travel sport parent here and yes, kid and I do love it. But the schedule you are referring to is only during the main season. Even when you play a sport year round, that tournament schedule isn’t maintained throughout. The intense period for my son’s club sport is less than two months and then he switches to other sports (he plays three) where it’s local school team games and maybe a couple tournaments per season for club.

It sounds like OP is either softball/baseball or basketball and those schedules can be crazy with tournaments every weekend in season. Fall and winter tend to be optional because kids, parents, and coaches get burned out by the end of a season

What does it mean when they say "tournament"? How many games per day/week?