Jealous of my smug happy sister

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister is a unicorn. Married rich. To a great guy who adores her. Perfect and loving in laws. Great job. Easy and successful pregnancy. House In a desirable location.

She is so happy and smug. Talking about how she worked so hard so she deserves this and we all need to work harder so we can fix our own lives. Ugh I hate her!

I hate to tell you this but she's not a unicorn. I happen to know a few women in my social circle who fit this description. I might feel the occasional twinge of envy but have to admit that they are special in their own right. To have a very successful, loving man fall in love with you usually means you are attractive to that kind of man. That kind of man often has loving and successful parents. Often these women are quite attractive and socially adept. Other than being smug and happy, what does your sister have going for her that you do not?

Op here. Well, this is just it. For as long as I recall my sister has been treated like she’s special. Teachers and neighbors and friends of our parents would fawn about her. How mature and thoughtful she was. How beautiful she was. How special she was.

She has that rare combination of beauty, poise and a great head on her shoulders. Her husband is a catch. Rich and successful, yes, but a thoroughly decent guy and his parents are wonderful people. They all love my sister and feel so lucky to have her.

I mean, you tell me how a mere mortal is supposed to not feel envious!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister is a unicorn. Married rich. To a great guy who adores her. Perfect and loving in laws. Great job. Easy and successful pregnancy. House In a desirable location.

She is so happy and smug. Talking about how she worked so hard so she deserves this and we all need to work harder so we can fix our own lives. Ugh I hate her!

I hate to tell you this but she's not a unicorn. I happen to know a few women in my social circle who fit this description. I might feel the occasional twinge of envy but have to admit that they are special in their own right. To have a very successful, loving man fall in love with you usually means you are attractive to that kind of man. That kind of man often has loving and successful parents. Often these women are quite attractive and socially adept. Other than being smug and happy, what does your sister have going for her that you do not?

Op here. Well, this is just it. For as long as I recall my sister has been treated like she’s special. Teachers and neighbors and friends of our parents would fawn about her. How mature and thoughtful she was. How beautiful she was. How special she was.

She has that rare combination of beauty, poise and a great head on her shoulders. Her husband is a catch. Rich and successful, yes, but a thoroughly decent guy and his parents are wonderful people. They all love my sister and feel so lucky to have her.

I mean, you tell me how a mere mortal is supposed to not feel envious!

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia

[Anonymous]

People who show off are usually the ones with something to hide. Not all that glitters is gold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister is a unicorn. Married rich. To a great guy who adores her. Perfect and loving in laws. Great job. Easy and successful pregnancy. House In a desirable location.

She is so happy and smug. Talking about how she worked so hard so she deserves this and we all need to work harder so we can fix our own lives. Ugh I hate her!

I hate to tell you this but she's not a unicorn. I happen to know a few women in my social circle who fit this description. I might feel the occasional twinge of envy but have to admit that they are special in their own right. To have a very successful, loving man fall in love with you usually means you are attractive to that kind of man. That kind of man often has loving and successful parents. Often these women are quite attractive and socially adept. Other than being smug and happy, what does your sister have going for her that you do not?

Op here. Well, this is just it. For as long as I recall my sister has been treated like she’s special. Teachers and neighbors and friends of our parents would fawn about her. How mature and thoughtful she was. How beautiful she was. How special she was.

She has that rare combination of beauty, poise and a great head on her shoulders. Her husband is a catch. Rich and successful, yes, but a thoroughly decent guy and his parents are wonderful people. They all love my sister and feel so lucky to have her.

I mean, you tell me how a mere mortal is supposed to not feel envious!

You can feel envious but don't let it consume you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In every life, some rain must fall. It just hasn't happened to her yet.

This! Wait until her wonderful husband cheats on her and the prenump she signed entitles her to nothing. Her beautiful baby turns out to be a monster child, or worse has a disability. Her in-law prove to be invasive and controlling, etc., etc. There is no one with the perfect life; it’s hard for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister is a unicorn. Married rich. To a great guy who adores her. Perfect and loving in laws. Great job. Easy and successful pregnancy. House In a desirable location.

She is so happy and smug. Talking about how she worked so hard so she deserves this and we all need to work harder so we can fix our own lives. Ugh I hate her!

I hate to tell you this but she's not a unicorn. I happen to know a few women in my social circle who fit this description. I might feel the occasional twinge of envy but have to admit that they are special in their own right. To have a very successful, loving man fall in love with you usually means you are attractive to that kind of man. That kind of man often has loving and successful parents. Often these women are quite attractive and socially adept. Other than being smug and happy, what does your sister have going for her that you do not?

Op here. Well, this is just it. For as long as I recall my sister has been treated like she’s special. Teachers and neighbors and friends of our parents would fawn about her. How mature and thoughtful she was. How beautiful she was. How special she was.

She has that rare combination of beauty, poise and a great head on her shoulders. Her husband is a catch. Rich and successful, yes, but a thoroughly decent guy and his parents are wonderful people. They all love my sister and feel so lucky to have her.

I mean, you tell me how a mere mortal is supposed to not feel envious!

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia

+1

OP, listen up: you can glean A LOT from your sister, or you can make her your enemy - your choice.

[Anonymous]

My sister is perfect too OP!
She looks very much like me except prettier, and taller. She is totally mentally healthy and the nicest person in the world. Everyone who meets her, even just shortly at a party, adores her. Her husband is loaded and loves her. She doesn't have to work or ever think about money. Her (perfect) kids are even adventurous eaters while mine whine at every dinner.
I used to burn with envy when we were younger. Envy is the most miserable sin because there is absolutely no pleasure in it.
Don't stew about how something bad might happen to her someday. This is very negative energy.
I consider myself lucky to have my sister in my family. She's a great sister and loves my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who show off are usually the ones with something to hide. Not all that glitters is gold.

And all that is gold does not glitter!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister is a unicorn. Married rich. To a great guy who adores her. Perfect and loving in laws. Great job. Easy and successful pregnancy. House In a desirable location.

She is so happy and smug. Talking about how she worked so hard so she deserves this and we all need to work harder so we can fix our own lives. Ugh I hate her!

I hate to tell you this but she's not a unicorn. I happen to know a few women in my social circle who fit this description. I might feel the occasional twinge of envy but have to admit that they are special in their own right. To have a very successful, loving man fall in love with you usually means you are attractive to that kind of man. That kind of man often has loving and successful parents. Often these women are quite attractive and socially adept. Other than being smug and happy, what does your sister have going for her that you do not?

Op here. Well, this is just it. For as long as I recall my sister has been treated like she’s special. Teachers and neighbors and friends of our parents would fawn about her. How mature and thoughtful she was. How beautiful she was. How special she was.

She has that rare combination of beauty, poise and a great head on her shoulders. Her husband is a catch. Rich and successful, yes, but a thoroughly decent guy and his parents are wonderful people. They all love my sister and feel so lucky to have her.

I mean, you tell me how a mere mortal is supposed to not feel envious!

NP. I have been told all my life I was smart and beautiful. School came easy for me. I worked hard. I met my amazing husband in grad school. I have three fantastic children. I know I am lucky. I try to downplay how much money we have and how well my husband is doing. I would never wish misfortune on others. I’m glad I’m not imagining it when I feel like people somehow resent me for my good life.

My best friend has dropped me and I have been nothing but good to her. I’m sure she feels like OP except I am not her blood relative so it is easier for her to drop me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not the sister here, but think my SiL thinks this about me occasionally. She grew up affluent - great family vacations, anything she wanted, full pay BA/MFA at top schools, etc. She and her DH are creatives and they didn't want to be encumbered by office work. She was then absolutely shocked when she learned that her parents were not going to pay for private K-12 for her kids. Then resentful when we were able to do so. And it pretty much started spiraling from there.

I didn't grow up that way, grateful for what we have, and pretty generous with our finances. We live way below our income. Folks may call me a lot of things, but smug is not one. But she doesn't see any of that - only that I (not her sibling just me) seem to have "more" than her and it's simply not fair.

You are an unpleasant, unhappy, vindictive and competitive woman.

And how did you come up with that conclusion? My SiL talks trash about me to other relatives, some of DH's friends, and, on a few occasions, with our children. If there is something she has an opinion about regarding our family, then it always must be something I'm doing, not her sibling.

As one of DH's friends said, "I always knew she was a little volatile, but she has now sealed that impression."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not the sister here, but think my SiL thinks this about me occasionally. She grew up affluent - great family vacations, anything she wanted, full pay BA/MFA at top schools, etc. She and her DH are creatives and they didn't want to be encumbered by office work. She was then absolutely shocked when she learned that her parents were not going to pay for private K-12 for her kids. Then resentful when we were able to do so. And it pretty much started spiraling from there.

I didn't grow up that way, grateful for what we have, and pretty generous with our finances. We live way below our income. Folks may call me a lot of things, but smug is not one. But she doesn't see any of that - only that I (not her sibling just me) seem to have "more" than her and it's simply not fair.

You are an unpleasant, unhappy, vindictive and competitive woman.

And how did you come up with that conclusion? My SiL talks trash about me to other relatives, some of DH's friends, and, on a few occasions, with our children. If there is something she has an opinion about regarding our family, then it always must be something I'm doing, not her sibling.

As one of DH's friends said, "I always knew she was a little volatile, but she has now sealed that impression."

DP here. I don’t understand why people think it is unfair if someone is more fortunate. I always tell my children the world is not fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister is a unicorn. Married rich. To a great guy who adores her. Perfect and loving in laws. Great job. Easy and successful pregnancy. House In a desirable location.

She is so happy and smug. Talking about how she worked so hard so she deserves this and we all need to work harder so we can fix our own lives. Ugh I hate her!

I hate to tell you this but she's not a unicorn. I happen to know a few women in my social circle who fit this description. I might feel the occasional twinge of envy but have to admit that they are special in their own right. To have a very successful, loving man fall in love with you usually means you are attractive to that kind of man. That kind of man often has loving and successful parents. Often these women are quite attractive and socially adept. Other than being smug and happy, what does your sister have going for her that you do not?

Op here. Well, this is just it. For as long as I recall my sister has been treated like she’s special. Teachers and neighbors and friends of our parents would fawn about her. How mature and thoughtful she was. How beautiful she was. How special she was.

She has that rare combination of beauty, poise and a great head on her shoulders. Her husband is a catch. Rich and successful, yes, but a thoroughly decent guy and his parents are wonderful people. They all love my sister and feel so lucky to have her.

I mean, you tell me how a mere mortal is supposed to not feel envious!

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia

What does this mean???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In every life, some rain must fall. It just hasn't happened to her yet.

This! Wait until her wonderful husband cheats on her and the prenump she signed entitles her to nothing. Her beautiful baby turns out to be a monster child, or worse has a disability. Her in-law prove to be invasive and controlling, etc., etc. There is no one with the perfect life; it’s hard for everyone.

Rain may fall but now awful that your sister wishes that for you. We should be happy for those with good fortune, especially your own sister.

[Anonymous]

Is she smug, or do you think she is smug because you are jealous.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you don’t know your sister very well beyond the surface. Everyone has problems. You seem to have made her into a caricature and sound like a hater.

Why are you focusing so much on envying your sister? With that excess energy, figure out how to get yourself out of your circumstances or how to feel better about yourself.