Jealous of my smug happy sister

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The pulling oneself up by the bootstraps talk would annoy me for sure. I hope I'm not smug in general, but as someone who has a sister with jealous tendencies, I will say that she only sees what she wants to see when it comes to my life. I don't complain about my problems, so she thinks I have none. I think she has an awesome life, frankly, but she has always seen herself as a victim. "Everything is SO HARD for me and SO EASY for her."

Your sister has problems, OP. Are they your problems? Maybe not. Are they bigger than your problems? Maybe not. But it shouldn't matter. You only have a full window into your own life, so comparing is going to be counterproductive.

x1000000

[Anonymous]

Is this a parody post about how everyone on DCUM sounds

[Anonymous]

Some poster posts a version of this a few times a year.

[Anonymous]

What your sister does not have is a supportive sibling. I have a jealous competitive cousin, and it's tough to know she can't wait for me to fail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are degrees of tragedy though and some people genuinely have an easier life than others. It's certainly not the case that horrible tragedies will befall your sister.

DP. And some people ARE better equipped to deal with whatever life throws their way. Some are more even keeled, some are able to easily function on 5 hrs of sleep indefinitely, some are smarter and can avoid the things that topple others. I am not even mentioning the differences in support and access that people get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What your sister does not have is a supportive sibling. I have a jealous competitive cousin, and it's tough to know she can't wait for me to fail.

Do you go around bragging endlessly about how you achieved everything with hard work and everyone else should do the same? Some self-reflection might be in order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP how many threads have you started on DCUM about this? And how many threads are you going to keep starting?

NP. I feel like jealousy of a sibling is just an extremely common thing. And social has lots of folks comparing themselves and getting down about it these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are degrees of tragedy though and some people genuinely have an easier life than others. It's certainly not the case that horrible tragedies will befall your sister.

DP. And some people ARE better equipped to deal with whatever life throws their way. Some are more even keeled, some are able to easily function on 5 hrs of sleep indefinitely, some are smarter and can avoid the things that topple others. I am not even mentioning the differences in support and access that people get.

DP here. Some people (such as OP's sister) are accustomed to not getting support, so they are more independent and capable. They actually expect bad things to happen, do not talk about them, are more prepared (if only mentally, as their lives have routinely been difficult) and become more resilient over time.

Other people (OP) are martyrs and think they have it so hard - "why me??" - whether or not they admit it.

OP, are you by chance the favored sibling by your parents? Has everything been handed to you, and you don't even realize it? I know some very spoiled adults who behave like you, and it is not at all becoming. People don't have sympathy for you, because they know you have your hand out - they see right through you.

Also, you have no idea what your sister is or is not dealing with, because you will never be close to her, because she learned at a young age that you are not trustworthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What your sister does not have is a supportive sibling. I have a jealous competitive cousin, and it's tough to know she can't wait for me to fail.

Do you go around bragging endlessly about how you achieved everything with hard work and everyone else should do the same? Some self-reflection might be in order.

You seem terribly judgy, like OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What your sister does not have is a supportive sibling. I have a jealous competitive cousin, and it's tough to know she can't wait for me to fail.

Do you go around bragging endlessly about how you achieved everything with hard work and everyone else should do the same? Some self-reflection might be in order.

I am surprised she's talking to you at all. My cousin sees my mere existence as bragging. No amount of self-reflection on one's side can stop your bad-wishing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing is as it seems, OP. She may be miserable.

Why are there always people on here coping about being rich w/this kind of stuff? Ah - they have a lot of money they must be miserable!

[Anonymous]

Life is not fair OP. The sooner you understand that...the happier you will be. Take the cards you were dealt and live your best life. Someone will always be prettier, richer etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP how many threads have you started on DCUM about this? And how many threads are you going to keep starting?

This and try being happy for your sister, no matter how smug you perceive her to be. A better focus for you is on your own life and trying to grow out of your bitterness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pulling oneself up by the bootstraps talk would annoy me for sure. I hope I'm not smug in general, but as someone who has a sister with jealous tendencies, I will say that she only sees what she wants to see when it comes to my life. I don't complain about my problems, so she thinks I have none. I think she has an awesome life, frankly, but she has always seen herself as a victim. "Everything is SO HARD for me and SO EASY for her."

Your sister has problems, OP. Are they your problems? Maybe not. Are they bigger than your problems? Maybe not. But it shouldn't matter. You only have a full window into your own life, so comparing is going to be counterproductive.

x1000000

+1 (more)

OP, you sound like a Facebook friend. People post the best things in their lives on FB, but they often don't include the bad things. Maybe your sister is the type that will only tell you about the good things, but not tell you about the bad things happening to her. So, you may only see half of the picture and are missing the bad things that happen because she doesn't talk about them.

Also, for those who have had challenges on their climb up the ladder, you have to remember that often, those that are successful, really have worked hard. The difference between them and other less successful is that they have had opportunities that others have not had. But unless you are the child of wealth, who is handed life on a platter, it takes both opportunity and hard work to succeed. Those who have opportunity and do not work hard, will often fail and not end up in the same boat as those who did not get the opportunity.

I get it that it is very tone deaf for people like OP's sister to laud their own hard work, but not to credit the opportunities she had to succeed where others have not. But don't discredit that she had to work hard to take advantage of the opportunities that she was given.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pulling oneself up by the bootstraps talk would annoy me for sure. I hope I'm not smug in general, but as someone who has a sister with jealous tendencies, I will say that she only sees what she wants to see when it comes to my life. I don't complain about my problems, so she thinks I have none. I think she has an awesome life, frankly, but she has always seen herself as a victim. "Everything is SO HARD for me and SO EASY for her."

Your sister has problems, OP. Are they your problems? Maybe not. Are they bigger than your problems? Maybe not. But it shouldn't matter. You only have a full window into your own life, so comparing is going to be counterproductive.

x1000000

+1 (more)

OP, you sound like a Facebook friend. People post the best things in their lives on FB, but they often don't include the bad things. Maybe your sister is the type that will only tell you about the good things, but not tell you about the bad things happening to her. So, you may only see half of the picture and are missing the bad things that happen because she doesn't talk about them.

Also, for those who have had challenges on their climb up the ladder, you have to remember that often, those that are successful, really have worked hard. The difference between them and other less successful is that they have had opportunities that others have not had. But unless you are the child of wealth, who is handed life on a platter, it takes both opportunity and hard work to succeed. Those who have opportunity and do not work hard, will often fail and not end up in the same boat as those who did not get the opportunity.

I get it that it is very tone deaf for people like OP's sister to laud their own hard work, but not to credit the opportunities she had to succeed where others have not. But don't discredit that she had to work hard to take advantage of the opportunities that she was given.

+1

Exactly. OP, you sound very naive and spoiled.