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Son 1: 14-19 He was intent on breaking every rule and making very bad choices. I'm thankful every day that we all three made it through.
Son 2: 17-20 Due to mental health issues. They started senior year, but the severity wasn't realized until he went to college. Now he has a bipolar diagnosis, takes meds, has doctors. Hopefully he can finish his degree (taking a semester off). Daughter: She is currently a senior in HS. She has always been the easy going, happy go lucky, rule following kid. All three were super easy babies, toddlers, and so much fun in elementary school. We really thought we had the parenting thing down. Firm, loving, but fun. Those teenage boy years put us in our place. |
| Post college: what has been hard was the year or two after college, during COVID, for both my kids. Everyone eventually found a job that paid well enough, a career trajectory, a decent place to live, a friend group. But both kids switched jobs a couple of times, moved a couple of times, went through periods where they were really lonely and down and would call us and be really sad and there was very little we could do to help them. We were supportive but ultimately there were things they had to go through that we couldn’t do for them. In retrospect I was way too enmeshed and a good therapist helped me to see that they were and are building their lives and we are to some extent bystanders. But it has been hard. |
There is no one hardest phase - as it depends on your child - if NT, etc. In sum, the youngest years are physical and the preteen-teen years are cerebral. They all take time and energy, if you are good at it. |