What was the hardest phase?

[Anonymous]

Mom of a little kid here who has not found any stage easy (or frankly enjoyable) yet...this was not the thread to read!

[Anonymous]

I'm the OP. I didn't mean for it to be a downer, I just want to understand the future stages that people complain about to prepare myself (do I need to help them be more independent, more activities, less activities, brace myself for hormonal drama....IDK).

All phases also have their wonderful parts too. I actually am LOVING my tweens and they're at their best so far. Little kids are physically exhausting and you have no downtime. You'll get through that and then we faced some social drama and having to guide them through that emotional stuff, which is hard in a different way. But seeing them turn into real human beings and watch their personalies grow is beautiful.

[Anonymous]

Honestly...newborn and early months were the worst for me. I have one in college and one just out. They are great young adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom of a little kid here who has not found any stage easy (or frankly enjoyable) yet...this was not the thread to read!

You have surely heard the expression: little kids, little problems; big kids, big problems.

[Anonymous]

My kids are now 25 and 21.

With my older kid, there were many, many hard years. But 13-17 was MUCH better than 0-13, and 17+ has been delightful.

My younger kid was always easy as pie. Hardest years (and really they haven't been terrible) have been 17-20. In the last several months they seem to be coming out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom of a little kid here who has not found any stage easy (or frankly enjoyable) yet...this was not the thread to read!

I know right? I have two in elementary and a new baby and parents of older kids are always admonishing me to “enjoy it.” No one actually seems to enjoy having kids over age ten or so. Kind of depressing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly...newborn and early months were the worst for me. I have one in college and one just out. They are great young adults.

+1. My DSs are ADHD. Ages 2-6 were the most difficult. They’d act up, wouldn’t follow instructions, had to watch them constantly. I have one late elementary, one middle school, and one in college. They are delightful and much easier and more enjoyable than when they were little.

[Anonymous]

18-19 is difficult because they are adults but not very mature

14-15 is hard because they are hormonal

[Anonymous]

Depends on Kid. 22-year-old daughter has been a joy almost all her life. But especially right now she’s graduated college, getting her own place and embarking on a career. I just love watching her become a responsible adult.

My 20 year old ADD daughter just dropped out of college. She is home and she is not sure what to do with herself. She was an adorable toddler and elementary school kid. I really miss her from those days when she was super happy. Social media and Covid really truly scarred her. The last couple of years of high school and until right now have been very difficult with her. She has few friends. When Not at work, at a job she doesn’t particularly enjoy and is exhausting, she is home in her room on her phone Consuming garbage.

[Anonymous]

For us age 14-19 were hugely stressful. Pushing boundaries, mental health, we didn’t know if they were going to make it tbh. From 19 on, it has been 180 degree turnaround. Every kid is different, but I do believe there is no immunity. If you didn’t go though it in teens, you will go through something in young adult. Just my observation.

[Anonymous]

17-22?

Kid was very ungrateful and took parents and all they were doing for granted.

Resented all inquiries, yet was totally dependent upon parents.

It was hurtful and annoying to endure.

[Anonymous]

I LOVED it when my DD was toddler until maybe 12.

So cute, loving and happy.

The work was worth it because I felt so lucky to have her joy in my life.

[Anonymous]

I have one who was very difficult in middle school and again this past year (currently rising senior - we're at the "I hate you stage with this one). I think social media contributed heavily to some of the difficult behavior. My younger child (15) has been fairly easy (though he is not as driven as my 17 year old; and he has never been on social media nor desires to be on it). I think the sweet spot was around age 10- where they still thought you were cool and wanted to be around you, while not having the teenage attitude and drama. The infant years were tough mainly bc of the extreme sleep deprivation and having to carry so much with you (diaper bag, stroller, etc.).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom of a little kid here who has not found any stage easy (or frankly enjoyable) yet...this was not the thread to read!

You have surely heard the expression: little kids, little problems; big kids, big problems.

I have, but interestingly no one ever said that when I was growing up. That seems to be a current-generation thing.

I love being around my teen nephews. I hope it gets better somewhat.

[Anonymous]

IMO, and what I've seen in other families the adult child years can be some of the most heartbreaking.

It is true that "little kids, little problems..." and that saying has been around for generations.

When kids become adults there is a whole host of difficulties which crop up. Choice in partner, choice in work, not to mention the perennial favorite of blaming you for anything and everything that's wrong.

In other words, doing your best as a parent was not only meaningless but every mistake you made and every personality flaw you have is pointed out.

We have not experienced this ourselves but have many friends that do. So hard to watch.