FIL doesn't acknowledge my son but wants to stay at my house

[Anonymous]

Biologically your wife’s Dad has zero connection to this kid whether straight or gay.

I know that is a hard nut to swallow. But literally my uncle had a “red headed step kid”

Funny as the step child had red hair. My other uncle had an adopted kid, my white cousin had a black foster child. My other cousin has a kid in a 1NS, my other cousin had a mixed race kid. All these kids were “second tier” kids. Sad.

Like Hunter Bidens love child.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't say he "couldn't". I would talk to my spouse about how this makes me feel and see what she wants to do. Her dad, her choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP update: last weekend they worked out that he would spend tonight at our place since he’s getting in late and then go to my SIL’s tomorrow. Then he was texting my wife last night asking if he could borrow a stroller to take his son to the zoo (implying to me that our son was not included in that plan), which led to follow up questions and him revealing that he was planning on staying w us till at least Tuesday. Wife ended up booking him an Airbnb in the neighborhood for Sunday and Monday nights. He’ll still be staying tonight at our place but it’s late enough I probably won’t see him. I made plans with friends during the day tomorrow. Guess I’m just going to have to be around him for breakfast and dinner tomorrow and Monday dinner. Which I can deal with I suppose.

Still can’t get over what a jerk he is. Wife just wants us to pretend he never made those comments for the sake of this visit. I plan on being polite but doing the bare minimum unless he shows any kind of indication that he’s trying to do a nice family visit rather than using us for free lodging.

Could he have just stated at your sister in laws if he wanted to? Or is it a dumpster fire or no room?

You need to read the whole thread. OP said that they lived in the city and SIL lives 1.5 hours outside. So he's flying into the city, and wants to stay a few days to show his son sites in the city before driving out to the exurbs to see SIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Biologically your wife’s Dad has zero connection to this kid whether straight or gay.

I know that is a hard nut to swallow. But literally my uncle had a “red headed step kid”

Funny as the step child had red hair. My other uncle had an adopted kid, my white cousin had a black foster child. My other cousin has a kid in a 1NS, my other cousin had a mixed race kid. All these kids were “second tier” kids. Sad.

Like Hunter Bidens love child.

This gives off adopted kids aren’t real kids vibes. Like, they’re both the parents. One doesn’t have to be a biological relation to be related.

[Anonymous]

I would never let anyone stay in our home who did not acknowledge our child. Straight couple, gay couple, makes no difference.

[Anonymous]

Why do you want to force the FIL to have a relationship with your son? He can stay at your house to connect with your wife (his daughter) without needing to build a relationship with the son. In fact, it's best for your son to have no relationship with this FIL.
The visit doesn't have to be about your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you want to force the FIL to have a relationship with your son? He can stay at your house to connect with your wife (his daughter) without needing to build a relationship with the son. In fact, it's best for your son to have no relationship with this FIL.
The visit doesn't have to be about your son.

So you would be fine if one of your parents or your spouses parents wanted to stay in your house but not acknowledge your child as their family member?

[Anonymous]

If this were a movie Jack Nicholson would play the curmudgeonly FIL, and there would be a happy ending. Ask your wife if there’s a decent chance such a happy ending would result, and if so, do what you can to help bring it about. Otherwise, proceed as planned.