Buying gifts for inlaws--whose job?

Anonymous
I just do my side. He sends his mom and dad money but nothing for his siblings or nieces or nephews on that side. I never considered that either of us should be responsible for maintaining relationships with the other's family of origin. We're millennials, FWIW.
Anonymous
If you see it as a job, it's your DH's
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:DH buys for his family. I buy for mine.
We’re both busy people


This.

I've made it clear to everyone that this is the way it works, so if someone has an issue with a gift (or lack thereof), they should go to their immediate family member, not the in-law.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It is his responsibility but, that's marriage. You make up for each other's shortcomings. Hopefully there are things he is doing that support you, too.


My husband and I are a wonderful team and we each contribute 50/50 to our family and house and pets (we earn about the same and we each do a lot for/with our kids and pets and have things we share or take responsibility for around the house). HOWEVER, his family is ungrateful and rude about presents (he is not close with any of them), so once I realized that they would never be satisfied no matter what I did, I didn't want to have that responsibility anymore. He agreed that they were unreasonable and it was a thankless task and he'd take it over and decide what to do and what not to do. If your in-laws are wonderful people and your husband just isn't good at doing gifts then fine, you can step up for him and do it if you want to. But given how many posts there are on here about awful in-laws, I have to believe that most of the time the wife is doing something the husband wouldn't do and it's a crappy job and he shouldn't get to dump it on her unless she wants to do it. It isn't like taking out the trash, which isn't fun but has to be done. People don't HAVE to give gifts or send cards, and if someone doesn't want to do it for their in-laws, why shouldn't the person related to those people step up and do it or not?
Anonymous
I always did. No big deal.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It is his responsibility but, that's marriage. You make up for each other's shortcomings. Hopefully there are things he is doing that support you, too.


This.
Anonymous
My husband’s only family that we bought gifts for was his mom. I bought all her presents bc my husband would wait until the last minute and buy something massively expensive and budget busting.
Anonymous
I drop the rope on this. I love my family and still struggle with gift giving. I’m not adding to my plate.

(Sometimes I make exceptions for my MIL because she is truly fantastic)
Anonymous
DH buys for immediate family, but I manage one off gifts in response to wedding invitations, graduations, baby showers, etc.
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