Kid often says I am late to pick her up

[Anonymous]

The attitudes toward the mom in this post are so strange and toxic. If a daycare is open until 6pm, it shouldn't be frowned upon to pick up at 6pm. Daycares' literal purpose is to provide childcare so parents can work. So stop judging parents for using the daycare for the hours it advertises. This is especially true in a post-COVID world. Most of the parents at my kid's daycare are WFH and live on the same street or a few blocks away from the school - guess what, I live farther and I commute. Doesn't make anyone a bad parent.

I bet some of these judgier folks are the same people who judge party guests for showing up on time (say, at 7pm when the party invitation says starts at 7pm).

[Anonymous]

OP can you clarify if you’re picking her up “late” meaning she sees other kids picked up first (unavoidable!) or Late meaning as/after daycare is closing? The latter is actually a problem the former is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if you pick her up early one day a week she's not going to understand why you can't do that everyday. Too confusing.

She’s only little for so long and she wants her mother. She’s not a soldier. Do what you can to pick her up earlier, even if it’s just once a week.

Well I certainly agree she wants her mother and is not a soldier. If she was my kid she wouldn't even be in daycare but that's another story. I still say that a young child will mostly not be able to understand why mom can show up early some days but not others. Seems to me it could do more to provoke anxiety than to help the situation.

Your kid would never be in daycare but you seem to think you know how to handle this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:3 to 4 days out of a week, she will say that I am late to pick her up and ask for why. She is one of the last few kids to be picked up in classroom and I tell her many time that I am not too late and I cannot pick her up earlier due to work. It has been going on for months, and she has attended thos daycare for 2 plus years.

That makes me feel some guilt. What is better way for me to respond to her to flip the table to change it into happier atmosphere pickup. She is not sad or cry, but I feel a bit of blame from her. I try to pick her up before daycare closing in 5 minutes

Maybe have a word with the daycare workers. They might be doing things like packing stuff up and cleaning when there are just a few kids left. I was the last kid at daycare often, and even though it’s not intentional, having the adults clean up around you feels a little lonely.

You got great advice above on how to validate her feelings.

!

I don’t, actually, which is why I didn’t say that. I said that OP can let the daycare workers know that her child feels sad when she is one of the last to be picked up. They can reassure her that her mom is on the way, explain that even when other kids are picked up earlier, they are happy to have her there, etc.

it is not the responsibility of daycare workers to assure OP's child that her habitually late mother has not forgotten her! OP inconveniences these people because they cannot lock up and leave until all children are picked up.

Daycare workers take care of the children from opening to close. OP is not showing up after hours. Daycare workers who are reading this post, please chime in if it would be so awful if a parent said, "Hey, little Ophelia said she is sad because she is picked up later than the other kids. I can't leave work earlier, can you check in with her at the end of the day?" Daycare workers have a tough job, checking in w a kid who might be sad her mom is later than most is probably the easiest part of their day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if you pick her up early one day a week she's not going to understand why you can't do that everyday. Too confusing.

She’s only little for so long and she wants her mother. She’s not a soldier. Do what you can to pick her up earlier, even if it’s just once a week.

Well I certainly agree she wants her mother and is not a soldier. If she was my kid she wouldn't even be in daycare but that's another story. I still say that a young child will mostly not be able to understand why mom can show up early some days but not others. Seems to me it could do more to provoke anxiety than to help the situation.

Your kid would never be in daycare but you seem to think you know how to handle this situation.

That is correct. I've worked in a daycare center briefly and I provided home daycare for several years, I am well aware of what preschool children are capable of understanding due to my own experience and education. Try not to take my reluctance to put my own kids in daycare too personally.

Nobody takes your decision on how to care for your own kids personally. They just don't value your opinion about how they raise their own kids. Try to take that personally.

That's a good idea. Don't value the opinions of people who have provided daycare. Ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if you pick her up early one day a week she's not going to understand why you can't do that everyday. Too confusing.

She’s only little for so long and she wants her mother. She’s not a soldier. Do what you can to pick her up earlier, even if it’s just once a week.

Well I certainly agree she wants her mother and is not a soldier. If she was my kid she wouldn't even be in daycare but that's another story. I still say that a young child will mostly not be able to understand why mom can show up early some days but not others. Seems to me it could do more to provoke anxiety than to help the situation.

Your kid would never be in daycare but you seem to think you know how to handle this situation.

That is correct. I've worked in a daycare center briefly and I provided home daycare for several years, I am well aware of what preschool children are capable of understanding due to my own experience and education. Try not to take my reluctance to put my own kids in daycare too personally.

Nobody takes your decision on how to care for your own kids personally. They just don't value your opinion about how they raise their own kids. Try to take that personally.

That's a good idea. Don't value the opinions of people who have provided daycare. Ok.

I think if you’ve read much of DCUM you’d know the quality of people who have provided daycare varies hugely. There’s nothing to say that your opinion is of particular value.