Kid often says I am late to pick her up

[Anonymous]

This reminds me of my mom. She worked but would pick me up on her days off. This was before cell phones. She was always late. She would get distracted by shopping or whatever and I never knew what time she would get there. I would sometimes leave and walk home by myself which took a while. In retrospect, I realize she must have ADHD but it was stressful for me.

I could always count on my father to be exactly on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if you pick her up early one day a week she's not going to understand why you can't do that everyday. Too confusing.

She’s only little for so long and she wants her mother. She’s not a soldier. Do what you can to pick her up earlier, even if it’s just once a week.

Omg. You are my least favorite kind of mother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"It sounds like you miss me when you see all the other kids getting picked up and you have to wait and wait. You wish you could be one of the first ones picked up. I miss you too and also wish I could pick you up earlier. It's hard to miss people we love, isn't it?"

+1

[Anonymous]

Kids like routine. You are doing your best, OP. I would have a special snack ready for the "late" days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3 to 4 days out of a week, she will say that I am late to pick her up and ask for why. She is one of the last few kids to be picked up in classroom and I tell her many time that I am not too late and I cannot pick her up earlier due to work. It has been going on for months, and she has attended thos daycare for 2 plus years.

That makes me feel some guilt. What is better way for me to respond to her to flip the table to change it into happier atmosphere pickup. She is not sad or cry, but I feel a bit of blame from her. I try to pick her up before daycare closing in 5 minutes

Maybe have a word with the daycare workers. They might be doing things like packing stuff up and cleaning when there are just a few kids left. I was the last kid at daycare often, and even though it’s not intentional, having the adults clean up around you feels a little lonely.

You got great advice above on how to validate her feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if you pick her up early one day a week she's not going to understand why you can't do that everyday. Too confusing.

She’s only little for so long and she wants her mother. She’s not a soldier. Do what you can to pick her up earlier, even if it’s just once a week.

Solo working Mom here, I know it’s hard but try to pick her up early once a week. I would suggest getting Dad to it but then you would STILL be late Mom which would be even worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We went through this too. Then a couple of months later my hours changed and I picked DS up earlier than everyone else. Then I got...Why do you pick me up so early? I want to keep playing with my friends.

+1

I work at a daycare, so I see my fair share of this scenario. It’s mostly envy, because other kids got some thing first. Kids don’t like being the last in line, the last to get their snacks, the last to get the Play-Doh, etc. they don’t like being the last to be picked up. It’s not so much that they really want to go home. I had one family who always picked up last, and their son would always remarked that he was lost. Then like the pp their schedule changed and they were the second to get picked up. Guess which little boy didn’t want to leave early? It’s also a phase so they will grow out of it soon. Please don’t try and feel guilty. You are working and if you have a good teacher, they will emphasize to your children that you love them, and will be there to get them as soon as you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"It sounds like you miss me when you see all the other kids getting picked up and you have to wait and wait. You wish you could be one of the first ones picked up. I miss you too and also wish I could pick you up earlier. It's hard to miss people we love, isn't it?"

Ridiculous response. If OP is always late, or late 3 days every week, of course the child is upset. Give her a time, "I'll pick you up by 5:30 today." If OP knows that she may be later give child the time she'll pick her up that day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 to 4 days out of a week, she will say that I am late to pick her up and ask for why. She is one of the last few kids to be picked up in classroom and I tell her many time that I am not too late and I cannot pick her up earlier due to work. It has been going on for months, and she has attended thos daycare for 2 plus years.

That makes me feel some guilt. What is better way for me to respond to her to flip the table to change it into happier atmosphere pickup. She is not sad or cry, but I feel a bit of blame from her. I try to pick her up before daycare closing in 5 minutes

Maybe have a word with the daycare workers. They might be doing things like packing stuff up and cleaning when there are just a few kids left. I was the last kid at daycare often, and even though it’s not intentional, having the adults clean up around you feels a little lonely.

You got great advice above on how to validate her feelings.

You think daycare workers should wait until all kids are picked up before they start cleaning? Ludicrous!

[Anonymous]

If your child is the last to be picked up on a regular basis, then she has a point. You are essentially telling her that your job is more important than she is. You fix this by showing up on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your child is the last to be picked up on a regular basis, then she has a point. You are essentially telling her that your job is more important than she is. You fix this by showing up on time.

I agree. This happened to me growing up and it felt awful. One time I even got forgotten and waited until dark - finally one of my parents realized I was missing from dinner and came and got me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your child is the last to be picked up on a regular basis, then she has a point. You are essentially telling her that your job is more important than she is. You fix this by showing up on time.

THis is such a ridiculous privileged response. Yeah I'll just tell my boss I can't be at work at the required hours. Not OP But totally disagree w you.

[Anonymous]

Disgusted by the trolls shaming a parent providing for their child.

OP, pack a treat to give to little one at pickup.

If it matches your schedule, ask daycare if they can let the child call you to check in 30minutes before pickup when your are heading over.
Or if they can play recorded greeting videos you make.

Be sure to spend quality quantity time together outside of daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your child is the last to be picked up on a regular basis, then she has a point. You are essentially telling her that your job is more important than she is. You fix this by showing up on time.

This is so ridiculous. For a while my schedule was shifted to afternoon meetings. Consequently my kid was in daycare 9/9:15ish to 5:15 or 5:30 (when daycare closed). She was often the last of her class to be picked up. Now I work with a bunch of people in Europe and she’s there 7:45/8 to 4/4:30. Neither schedule sends the message that my job is more important than my child wtf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"It sounds like you miss me when you see all the other kids getting picked up and you have to wait and wait. You wish you could be one of the first ones picked up. I miss you too and also wish I could pick you up earlier. It's hard to miss people we love, isn't it?"

Ridiculous response. If OP is always late, or late 3 days every week, of course the child is upset. Give her a time, "I'll pick you up by 5:30 today." If OP knows that she may be later give child the time she'll pick her up that day.

OP hasn’t said how old the child is I don’t think, but my 3yo is not capable or either reading a clock or conceptualizing 5:30, so I’m not sure how that’s helpful.