Would you be annoyed with you mom about this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If I were her I'd be annoyed that you coordinated to buy tickets to something together and then you didn't actually prioritize it and her. She has a right to be irritated - you should have better managed your schedule.

Unfortunately, that wasn't possible, given that an unexpected requirement arose at work that no one else could cover. I explained that, apologized to her, and also explained that I would make sure to end by no later than 5pm.

Which is understandable, but her deciding to proceed as originally planned is also understandable.

If she was having a tantrum, that wouldn't be reasonable, but taking an uber so she can still arrive at the time she planned to arrive at is totally reasonable.

It's not understandable to want to go to a social event where you don't know anyone and walk to stations eating and drinking alone. That would be so weird.

Some people have this thing where they are comfortable talking with strangers, meeting new people, making new friends, and asking questions from the wine vendors to learn something. Are you actually suggesting that someone who, say, is recently widowed, or whose friend was unable to make an evening as planned due to illness, should never go to a wine event or a movie or something alone? Should single people sit at home or stare at a wall?

OP's mom sounds like she's content to be on her own for 20 minutes at an outdoor, vendor-driven, social event. Good for her.

Cool, then wino mom who needs to get her drink on exactly at 5 can say it in a nicer way. "I really want to be there at 5 so I'll meet you there!"

Wine-loving mom probably has perpetually late/flakey OP's number, and knows that "5:15 at the latest" in OP world means "pretty darn close to 6." Good for mom, enjoying the event she paid for, being comfortable getting places on her own, being comfortable chatting with people and vendors at a social event.

If that's true then it's just as true OP has her mom's number and knows when she's being hostile.

Where is the hostile? Huh?

Do you mean hostility? Huh? Make more sense.

[Anonymous]

How were you going to leave work at 5, pick your Mom up, park and get there by 5:15? Unless you work next door to your Mom and the venue, zero chance of getting there by 5:15. My guess is that you are habitually late and your Mom know this and is rightfully irritated.

[Anonymous]

How were you going to leave work at 5, pick your Mom up, park and get there by 5:15? Unless you work next door to your Mom and the venue, zero chance of getting there by 5:15. My guess is that you are habitually late and your Mom know this and is rightfully irritated.

Does no one actually read the original thread or updates before posting? This has been covered and they are now going over together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom and I brought tickets to a wine tasting event where you go from station to station tasting wines paired with appetizers. The event is from 5-7pm, tickets were around $30. I cannot leave work till 5, which would get me there at 5:15. She sent me a hostile text saying she planned to uber over alone and get there "at the actual start time," rather than me picking her up (I WFH and literally live three blocks away from her). This just strikes me as rude and unnecessary. If it were a sit down event it would make sense, but for something where you walk around at your own pace, I don't get it.

"Not sure why you're so hostile. You know my work hours. But, that's fine with me. I'll meet you there." I wouldn't indulge her manipulation but I would also let her know I did not appreciate the tone.

Not ONE iota of hostile, or manipulation here, sweetie. Not one.

Look, it's the "sweetie" poster!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not even remotely a hill to die on.

Agree. It's important to her to be on time for whatever reason, you'll join her 15 minutes later. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

How were you going to leave work at 5, pick your Mom up, park and get there by 5:15? Unless you work next door to your Mom and the venue, zero chance of getting there by 5:15. My guess is that you are habitually late and your Mom know this and is rightfully irritated.

Does no one actually read the original thread or updates before posting? This has been covered and they are now going over together.

There seems to be a small group of posters here who don't bother to read, create a whole wild narrative of assumptions in their little pea brains, and then make asinine posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

How were you going to leave work at 5, pick your Mom up, park and get there by 5:15? Unless you work next door to your Mom and the venue, zero chance of getting there by 5:15. My guess is that you are habitually late and your Mom know this and is rightfully irritated.

Does no one actually read the original thread or updates before posting? This has been covered and they are now going over together.

There seems to be a small group of posters here who don't bother to read, create a whole wild narrative of assumptions in their little pea brains, and then make asinine posts.

Aren’t you two pleasant? And PP above can’t write for sh*t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If I were her I'd be annoyed that you coordinated to buy tickets to something together and then you didn't actually prioritize it and her. She has a right to be irritated - you should have better managed your schedule.

Unfortunately, that wasn't possible, given that an unexpected requirement arose at work that no one else could cover. I explained that, apologized to her, and also explained that I would make sure to end by no later than 5pm.

Which is understandable, but her deciding to proceed as originally planned is also understandable.

If she was having a tantrum, that wouldn't be reasonable, but taking an uber so she can still arrive at the time she planned to arrive at is totally reasonable.

It's not understandable to want to go to a social event where you don't know anyone and walk to stations eating and drinking alone. That would be so weird.

Some people have this thing where they are comfortable talking with strangers, meeting new people, making new friends, and asking questions from the wine vendors to learn something. Are you actually suggesting that someone who, say, is recently widowed, or whose friend was unable to make an evening as planned due to illness, should never go to a wine event or a movie or something alone? Should single people sit at home or stare at a wall?

OP's mom sounds like she's content to be on her own for 20 minutes at an outdoor, vendor-driven, social event. Good for her.

Cool, then wino mom who needs to get her drink on exactly at 5 can say it in a nicer way. "I really want to be there at 5 so I'll meet you there!"

Wine-loving mom probably has perpetually late/flakey OP's number, and knows that "5:15 at the latest" in OP world means "pretty darn close to 6." Good for mom, enjoying the event she paid for, being comfortable getting places on her own, being comfortable chatting with people and vendors at a social event.

If that's true then it's just as true OP has her mom's number and knows when she's being hostile.

Nope, "hostile" would be trying to guilt OP into leaving work early and give her a ride. Instead, self-sufficient mom is doing her thing. Good for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I took the advice to call her to see if something else was up. It was good advice. Thank you.
My teen son goes to her place once per week after school for help studying science, and has been arriving late regularly. Not sure if it is a transportation issue (he takes the city bus) or he is goofing off, but plan to discuss it with him.
I had not realized he was showing up late. I think in light of the issue with my son, me also needing to get to this event late was the icing on the cake for her.
I apologized for his lateness, and stressed that we appreciate her help.
She agreed to drive over with me and get there at 5:15.

OP you seem to make a lot of assumptions. I don’t think her original text read as hostile, and unless she said it specifically, I don’t know where you are getting the idea that her wanting to go to the event she paid for when it starts at 5 has anything to do with your son being late. They sound like two totally different things. Either way, glad it all worked out, but maybe try to realize that some things are more simple than you think and don’t assume the worst.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I took the advice to call her to see if something else was up. It was good advice. Thank you.
My teen son goes to her place once per week after school for help studying science, and has been arriving late regularly. Not sure if it is a transportation issue (he takes the city bus) or he is goofing off, but plan to discuss it with him.
I had not realized he was showing up late. I think in light of the issue with my son, me also needing to get to this event late was the icing on the cake for her.
I apologized for his lateness, and stressed that we appreciate her help.
She agreed to drive over with me and get there at 5:15.


OP you seem to make a lot of assumptions. I don’t think her original text read as hostile, and unless she said it specifically, I don’t know where you are getting the idea that her wanting to go to the event she paid for when it starts at 5 has anything to do with your son being late. They sound like two totally different things. Either way, glad it all worked out, but maybe try to realize that some things are more simple than you think and don’t assume the worst.

I asked her specifically if she was annoyed, and that is the reason she gave. It's not an assumption.

Thanks, we are all resolved, and I am sure the two of us will have a good time this evening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. No, I wouldn't be annoyed, but would think it was very strange. I would not want to pay for an uber to be at an event alone 15 minutes earlier. But it's her choice.

Op’s extra 15 mins could turn to 50 or more in an unpredictable work situation. If op can’t leave for a planned 15 mins early that means she can get easily stuck there for longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She likely doesn't trust that you will actually by done at 5 and doesn't want to wait around for you.

This. Do you have a history of not being able to walk away from work? My DH does. He means well, but he has told me many many times that he will "leave work early" for something and 90% of the time he does not actually do it. I obviously know to tell him when it's important, and he does it. But for a social event or some casual thing he would 100% tell me he'd leave work 15 minutes early and when it actually came to it, he would not. Ex: the day before a holiday he often gets told to leave an hour early, and he plans on this and 9 out of 10 times actually works late on those days. It's annoying as all hell, but I've gotten used to it. He makes it to the big stuff, but not the little stuff.

I know this now and don't plan on him for laid back things and never believe him when he says he will be done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If I were her I'd be annoyed that you coordinated to buy tickets to something together and then you didn't actually prioritize it and her. She has a right to be irritated - you should have better managed your schedule.

Unfortunately, that wasn't possible, given that an unexpected requirement arose at work that no one else could cover. I explained that, apologized to her, and also explained that I would make sure to end by no later than 5pm.

Which is understandable, but her deciding to proceed as originally planned is also understandable.

If she was having a tantrum, that wouldn't be reasonable, but taking an uber so she can still arrive at the time she planned to arrive at is totally reasonable.

It's not understandable to want to go to a social event where you don't know anyone and walk to stations eating and drinking alone. That would be so weird.

Some people have this thing where they are comfortable talking with strangers, meeting new people, making new friends, and asking questions from the wine vendors to learn something. Are you actually suggesting that someone who, say, is recently widowed, or whose friend was unable to make an evening as planned due to illness, should never go to a wine event or a movie or something alone? Should single people sit at home or stare at a wall?

OP's mom sounds like she's content to be on her own for 20 minutes at an outdoor, vendor-driven, social event. Good for her.

Cool, then wino mom who needs to get her drink on exactly at 5 can say it in a nicer way. "I really want to be there at 5 so I'll meet you there!"

Wine-loving mom probably has perpetually late/flakey OP's number, and knows that "5:15 at the latest" in OP world means "pretty darn close to 6." Good for mom, enjoying the event she paid for, being comfortable getting places on her own, being comfortable chatting with people and vendors at a social event.

If that's true then it's just as true OP has her mom's number and knows when she's being hostile.

Nope, "hostile" would be trying to guilt OP into leaving work early and give her a ride. Instead, self-sufficient mom is doing her thing. Good for her.

Well, that's basically what she's doing. If OP can't "actually get there at the start time" then she'll just have to find her own ride, alone, and meet her later. Nice guilt trip, mom!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. No, I wouldn't be annoyed, but would think it was very strange. I would not want to pay for an uber to be at an event alone 15 minutes earlier. But it's her choice.

Op’s extra 15 mins could turn to 50 or more in an unpredictable work situation. If op can’t leave for a planned 15 mins early that means she can get easily stuck there for longer.

Turns out you're wrong as OP agreed to be picked up instead to get there at 515. So much for that wild assumption.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom and I brought tickets to a wine tasting event where you go from station to station tasting wines paired with appetizers. The event is from 5-7pm, tickets were around $30. I cannot leave work till 5, which would get me there at 5:15. She sent me a hostile text saying she planned to uber over alone and get there "at the actual start time," rather than me picking her up (I WFH and literally live three blocks away from her). This just strikes me as rude and unnecessary. If it were a sit down event it would make sense, but for something where you walk around at your own pace, I don't get it.

"Not sure why you're so hostile. You know my work hours. But, that's fine with me. I'll meet you there." I wouldn't indulge her manipulation but I would also let her know I did not appreciate the tone.

Not ONE iota of hostile, or manipulation here, sweetie. Not one.

Well, honey bun, since you're not OP and don't know her mom or their history, you can't say that.

Are you always such a cu-t?