Would you be annoyed with you mom about this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If I were her I'd be annoyed that you coordinated to buy tickets to something together and then you didn't actually prioritize it and her. She has a right to be irritated - you should have better managed your schedule.

Unfortunately, that wasn't possible, given that an unexpected requirement arose at work that no one else could cover. I explained that, apologized to her, and also explained that I would make sure to end by no later than 5pm.

Which is understandable, but her deciding to proceed as originally planned is also understandable.

If she was having a tantrum, that wouldn't be reasonable, but taking an uber so she can still arrive at the time she planned to arrive at is totally reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If I were her I'd be annoyed that you coordinated to buy tickets to something together and then you didn't actually prioritize it and her. She has a right to be irritated - you should have better managed your schedule.

Unfortunately, that wasn't possible, given that an unexpected requirement arose at work that no one else could cover. I explained that, apologized to her, and also explained that I would make sure to end by no later than 5pm.

Which is understandable, but her deciding to proceed as originally planned is also understandable.

If she was having a tantrum, that wouldn't be reasonable, but taking an uber so she can still arrive at the time she planned to arrive at is totally reasonable.

It's not understandable to want to go to a social event where you don't know anyone and walk to stations eating and drinking alone. That would be so weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She likely doesn't trust that you will actually by done at 5 and doesn't want to wait around for you.

Who wants to drink alone? I see the Boomer haters haven't found this thread yet to tell us how right daughter is and how entitled and selfish mom is. This thread will take a serious turn soon.

I'm the PP. My mom is 74 and regularly goes out alone since my dad died a few years ago. She talks to other people and enjoys herself. I don't think OP or her mom is selfish or entitled.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, that wasn't possible, given that an unexpected requirement arose at work that no one else could cover. I explained that, apologized to her, and also explained that I would make sure to end by no later than 5pm.


Which is understandable, but her deciding to proceed as originally planned is also understandable.

If she was having a tantrum, that wouldn't be reasonable, but taking an uber so she can still arrive at the time she planned to arrive at is totally reasonable.

She's not having a tantrum, true, but the tone of her text was snippy.
I am going to put this out of my mind, respond as a PP suggested saying I will see her there, and try to have a nice evening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She likely doesn't trust that you will actually by done at 5 and doesn't want to wait around for you.

Who wants to drink alone? I see the Boomer haters haven't found this thread yet to tell us how right daughter is and how entitled and selfish mom is. This thread will take a serious turn soon.

I'm the PP. My mom is 74 and regularly goes out alone since my dad died a few years ago. She talks to other people and enjoys herself. I don't think OP or her mom is selfish or entitled.

You're obviously not one of the resident Boomer haters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Unfortunately, that wasn't possible, given that an unexpected requirement arose at work that no one else could cover. I explained that, apologized to her, and also explained that I would make sure to end by no later than 5pm.


Which is understandable, but her deciding to proceed as originally planned is also understandable.

If she was having a tantrum, that wouldn't be reasonable, but taking an uber so she can still arrive at the time she planned to arrive at is totally reasonable.

She's not having a tantrum, true, but the tone of her text was snippy.
I am going to put this out of my mind, respond as a PP suggested saying I will see her there, and try to have a nice evening.

It was text. There is no tone. God you sound so immature and whiny. Try to have a nice evening? Lol. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She likely doesn't trust that you will actually by done at 5 and doesn't want to wait around for you.

Who wants to drink alone? I see the Boomer haters haven't found this thread yet to tell us how right daughter is and how entitled and selfish mom is. This thread will take a serious turn soon.

I'm the PP. My mom is 74 and regularly goes out alone since my dad died a few years ago. She talks to other people and enjoys herself. I don't think OP or her mom is selfish or entitled.

You're obviously not one of the resident Boomer haters.

Uh yeah I'm not. There are miserable people in all generations, why would I stereotype an entire one?

[Anonymous]

Hmm. No, I wouldn't be annoyed, but would think it was very strange. I would not want to pay for an uber to be at an event alone 15 minutes earlier. But it's her choice.

[Anonymous]

It was text. There is no tone. God you sound so immature and whiny. Try to have a nice evening? Lol. Get over yourself.

K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Unfortunately, that wasn't possible, given that an unexpected requirement arose at work that no one else could cover. I explained that, apologized to her, and also explained that I would make sure to end by no later than 5pm.


Which is understandable, but her deciding to proceed as originally planned is also understandable.

If she was having a tantrum, that wouldn't be reasonable, but taking an uber so she can still arrive at the time she planned to arrive at is totally reasonable.

She's not having a tantrum, true, but the tone of her text was snippy.
I am going to put this out of my mind, respond as a PP suggested saying I will see her there, and try to have a nice evening.

The snippiness may be in response to a real or perceived pattern of things "coming up" and/or that you've proven to be not good at managing your "make sure to end" times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If I were her I'd be annoyed that you coordinated to buy tickets to something together and then you didn't actually prioritize it and her. She has a right to be irritated - you should have better managed your schedule.

Unfortunately, that wasn't possible, given that an unexpected requirement arose at work that no one else could cover. I explained that, apologized to her, and also explained that I would make sure to end by no later than 5pm.

Which is understandable, but her deciding to proceed as originally planned is also understandable.

If she was having a tantrum, that wouldn't be reasonable, but taking an uber so she can still arrive at the time she planned to arrive at is totally reasonable.

It's not understandable to want to go to a social event where you don't know anyone and walk to stations eating and drinking alone. That would be so weird.

OP hasn't said that her mom doesn't know anyone. But many people who don't have social anxiety would be fine with coming separately to an event like this, even if it means that they're alone for the first few minutes. Judging OP's mom as "so weird" for doing that is very odd.

If OP and her mom were coming from different directions and meeting at the event would you consider that weird too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It was text. There is no tone. God you sound so immature and whiny. Try to have a nice evening? Lol. Get over yourself.

K.

Thanks for proving my point.

[Anonymous]

It's sort of unusual behavior by your mom, but rather than being annoyed, I would try talking to her to figure out what is going on. Maybe she feels you generally haven't been honoring your commitments to her or following through on things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's sort of unusual behavior by your mom, but rather than being annoyed, I would try talking to her to figure out what is going on. Maybe she feels you generally haven't been honoring your commitments to her or following through on things.

This. Or you've had things crop up at work that take longer than you say they will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If I were her I'd be annoyed that you coordinated to buy tickets to something together and then you didn't actually prioritize it and her. She has a right to be irritated - you should have better managed your schedule.

Unfortunately, that wasn't possible, given that an unexpected requirement arose at work that no one else could cover. I explained that, apologized to her, and also explained that I would make sure to end by no later than 5pm.

Which is understandable, but her deciding to proceed as originally planned is also understandable.

If she was having a tantrum, that wouldn't be reasonable, but taking an uber so she can still arrive at the time she planned to arrive at is totally reasonable.

It's not understandable to want to go to a social event where you don't know anyone and walk to stations eating and drinking alone. That would be so weird.

Some people have this thing where they are comfortable talking with strangers, meeting new people, making new friends, and asking questions from the wine vendors to learn something. Are you actually suggesting that someone who, say, is recently widowed, or whose friend was unable to make an evening as planned due to illness, should never go to a wine event or a movie or something alone? Should single people sit at home or stare at a wall?

OP's mom sounds like she's content to be on her own for 20 minutes at an outdoor, vendor-driven, social event. Good for her.