AITA for not feeding my college children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s your fault, OP, for raising lazy ingrates. You’re the parent.

Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I WFH during the day. I fix breakfast and myself lunch. My two college-age children are home but rarely get up before noon.

One is self-sufficient. The older (!) one texts me with: "Is there lunch" at like 1:30.

I reply, "I'm in the middle of a work project. There's X, Y, Z options in the kitchen. Help yourself."

Thirty minutes go by. "Are you done working? Can you make me nachos?"

Now I'm annoyed and reply, "You are 20. You are old enough to feed yourself. Please do."

Pouting now. Jesus. How is this child going to survive in the wild?

They won’t.

[Anonymous]

Me: "People are so stingy and harsh on their adult children!"

Me reading this: "OMG wtf is wrong with these adult children?!?"

I will say that before I had kids, going to my parent's house brought out the lazy in me. It's like all of a sudden I turned into the sloth I was in high school. But that meant I had a hard time making myself pitch in with dishes or make myself any food. I would never have asked my parents to make me something, much less expected them to squeeze it in between work projects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I WFH during the day. I fix breakfast and myself lunch. My two college-age children are home but rarely get up before noon.

One is self-sufficient. The older (!) one texts me with: "Is there lunch" at like 1:30.

I reply, "I'm in the middle of a work project. There's X, Y, Z options in the kitchen. Help yourself."

Thirty minutes go by. "Are you done working? Can you make me nachos?"

Now I'm annoyed and reply, "You are 20. You are old enough to feed yourself. Please do."

Pouting now. Jesus. How is this child going to survive in the wild?

They won’t.

No, they will be fine. They are just in an environment where they are accustomed to OP doing things for them. When they're on their own I'm sure they have no problem doing things for themselves. They just have to get used to their mom treating them like adults.

[Anonymous]

Nacho takes 3 min. Why not make some for your kid? If you have time to post DCUM, you have 3 min.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Simple. Do not answer non-emergency texts from your kids at work.
My 4 kids know not to text/call me unless it’s really necessary.
I manage several employees and and shocked/annoyed by some of the working moms whose kids seem to think they have an open line to their mom all day long.
Women- this does not help you look professional at work in front of your managers For your own good, future raises and promotions, please separate work and home. I work on compensation with executive Management, and they (often wrongly) view these employees with less status, since that’s what they perceive every day with several moms.

Oh dear god. Women like you suck. You make it hard for the rest of us, who have kids who may need to reach us, to just do our jobs. Go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nacho takes 3 min. Why not make some for your kid? If you have time to post DCUM, you have 3 min.

No, she gets to spend that time doing the things she wants to do--be that work or DCUM--rather than catering to her kids like they are five years old.

[Anonymous]

I thought this was going to be something where you weren't buying food for your kids that visit.

These are kids who live with you, eat your food and yet still want you to make it?

100% NTA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nacho takes 3 min. Why not make some for your kid? If you have time to post DCUM, you have 3 min.

No, she gets to spend that time doing the things she wants to do--be that work or DCUM--rather than catering to her kids like they are five years old.

Your poor kids. Lost mommy lottery. Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Simple. Do not answer non-emergency texts from your kids at work.
My 4 kids know not to text/call me unless it’s really necessary.
I manage several employees and and shocked/annoyed by some of the working moms whose kids seem to think they have an open line to their mom all day long.
Women- this does not help you look professional at work in front of your managers For your own good, future raises and promotions, please separate work and home. I work on compensation with executive Management, and they (often wrongly) view these employees with less status, since that’s what they perceive every day with several moms.

Oh dear god. Women like you suck. You make it hard for the rest of us, who have kids who may need to reach us, to just do our jobs. Go away.

This is a great example of a woman being guilty of sexism. I'd rather maintain a good relationship with my children than look more professional in the eyes of an employer who doesn't really care if I live or die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nacho takes 3 min. Why not make some for your kid? If you have time to post DCUM, you have 3 min.

No, she gets to spend that time doing the things she wants to do--be that work or DCUM--rather than catering to her kids like they are five years old.

Your poor kids. Lost mommy lottery. Lol

Ha no. I'd never win mother of the year, but I certainly couldn't be accused of not catering to my kids enough. I am very involved, caring, and happy to do things for them. But you can be a great mom and still choose to have fun instead of making your grown-up kids a snack. You're not doing your kids any favors by showing them that you're always going to put their whims before your own (I mean, what were *they* doing that couldn't have been interrupted for three minutes to make themselves some nachos?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nacho takes 3 min. Why not make some for your kid? If you have time to post DCUM, you have 3 min.

No, she gets to spend that time doing the things she wants to do--be that work or DCUM--rather than catering to her kids like they are five years old.

Your poor kids. Lost mommy lottery. Lol

Ha no. I'd never win mother of the year, but I certainly couldn't be accused of not catering to my kids enough. I am very involved, caring, and happy to do things for them. But you can be a great mom and still choose to have fun instead of making your grown-up kids a snack. You're not doing your kids any favors by showing them that you're always going to put their whims before your own (I mean, what were *they* doing that couldn't have been interrupted for three minutes to make themselves some nachos?)

Yeah sure..

[Anonymous]

If any adult (including my children) texted me in the work day to make them a snack, they wouldn't get a response.

I wonder those who are saying "make a snack" would do the same if it was her husband asking? Or if her kid asked the husband to do it.

Shows how many of us still see women as responsible for all of the "home" life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nacho takes 3 min. Why not make some for your kid? If you have time to post DCUM, you have 3 min.

No, she gets to spend that time doing the things she wants to do--be that work or DCUM--rather than catering to her kids like they are five years old.

Your poor kids. Lost mommy lottery. Lol

Ha no. I'd never win mother of the year, but I certainly couldn't be accused of not catering to my kids enough. I am very involved, caring, and happy to do things for them. But you can be a great mom and still choose to have fun instead of making your grown-up kids a snack. You're not doing your kids any favors by showing them that you're always going to put their whims before your own (I mean, what were *they* doing that couldn't have been interrupted for three minutes to make themselves some nachos?)

Yeah sure..

Is that the example you want to set for your kids? Mom needs to put away what she's doing so the kids can keep scrolling on their phones?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If any adult (including my children) texted me in the work day to make them a snack, they wouldn't get a response.

I wonder those who are saying "make a snack" would do the same if it was her husband asking? Or if her kid asked the husband to do it.

Shows how many of us still see women as responsible for all of the "home" life.

I'd honestly be more likely to make my husband a snack in this situation. He does a ton of kind, caring things for me and I look for opportunities to reciprocate. I do often do little things for my teenage kids that they can do themselves, like get them a drink of water even when it would be just as easy for them to do it, but I am trying to transition out of that "mommy caters to me" mindset since they are at the age where they need to start seeing me as a human being instead of somebody who is just around to meet their needs. I develop my relationship with my kids by doing things with them, always being there to talk when they want to talk, showing interests in their interests, etc.