The kind who wants to live in a red state. Lawyer up and protect your savings! |
Ok. But your real mistake was marrying the kind of person that would do something like that. I like to think that even if my wife and I got divorced we would prioritize the kids rather than screwing each other over. But easy to say, I guess. |
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I think this is the natural conclusion of the culture wars . . . that we all sort ourselves into red states and blue states. I wouldn't live in a state that bans or all but bans abortion, that is banning drag queens and requiring genital exams for sports, etc. So while I can't understand your husband's discomfort with whatever he doesn't like about this area, I do think we're being pushed to self-sort. Of course, that will just make us even less able to relate to one another. We're careening toward a real crisis.
But to your personal situation . . . Obviously he's feeling very lost and out of place. I would try to hear that and understand how deeply he's feeling it. I would try to offer grace and support. But I would not accept my partner making a unilateral decision about moving the family. That's just not how marriage works. He's not the only one with a stake in all of this and he doesn't get to decide for everyone. Practically, what sort of compromise or changes can you make to help him with his feelings? Join a conservative house of worship? Switch kids to private? Join a private club? Buy a vacation home in the target state? If he felt surrounded by his people here then he might not feel this wanderlust anymore. |
Emptied it how? Where did that money go? Why didn’t the divorce judge take a look at that history and see she used to have 401k funds? |
See the can we stop asking posters this question thread. Even if you ask it here of yourself you are just self-congratulating that you don't have this problem. Not offering any support. Why do you need this sort of validation? |
How did you respond at the dinner table when he made that announcement? What was the kids' reaction? |
| Not sure if this applies, but moving out of the DMV is never a bad idea. That said, he does not have a plan. But you should. It’s spelled d-i-v-o-r-c-e. |
A partner is someone who considers the welfare of everyone in the family. This guy is acting like a child having a tantrum. Quit both jobs and uproot their family for what? To run away somewhere he can say the n-word whenever he wants? So his feelings don't get hurt when someone puts their pronouns in an email?
I don't know what's going on, but he needs to man up and deal with his crap. I feel sorry for OP. She has 3 children now. |
| I swear I read a letter with the exact scenario, except from the man’s POV. I think it was on AITA on Reddit. If it is the same situation, the DH was definitely deemed the AH. |
People take politics way too seriously. They become to some people more important than their actual experiences. |
2 children |
Did he interpret this to me he could go ahead and move and you would follow him when he got the job? You should tell him it’s not ok to split up the family until he has the job in hand. |
My ex husband did that. You need a divorce. |
+1. OP, what did you say? What is the current status? If you've been saying "not unless you find a good job there," maybe he took that to mean you are on board as long as he finds a job. So he is going to do that while you stay here. |
I'm not OP, but a lot of dudes have just straight up lost their minds in the last several years. |