When people say 'I am lucky/ privileged to be able to' - does it make you feel any better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It can be said in a bragging, tone deaf way - #blessed #grateful

Or it can be said in a humble way that acknowledges that staying home with kids is not a choice available to all families. If sincere, this use can convey that she is not judging you for not staying home and acknowledges that she has the option through privilege and/or luck, as opposed to hard work or being more worthy.

FFS. People have to go on an apology diatribe any time they have something someone else does not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally it sounds obnoxious to me - like every woman who has the financial means to do so should stay home. Sounds like it's inferring a negative judgment on women with high-earning spouses who choose to work outside the home even though they don't "need" the money. Just say you're a stay at home mom.

+1

The privilege comment is so ignorant. Lots of people make serious financial sacrifices to stay home, some could stay home and want to work, etc. It’s no one’s f*inf business to make a like that about anything.

[Anonymous]

It means they don't understand how the word "privilege"comes across, OP

It's one of those situations where you need to listen to the intent, not the actual words. But yes, it's slightly irritating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:omg no - people should NOT say this. it sounds SO SO smug.

Agree. My husband has 0 humility and he often says this. I cringe.

[Anonymous]

Omg some of you are so judgmental. Geez.

[Anonymous]

Yes it does. Or at least I know that the person isn’t completely clueless which is always a good thing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:omg no - people should NOT say this. it sounds SO SO smug.

What would be a better way to phrase it?

NP here

I can't really think of a situation where you need to say more than "I'm a stay at home mom." I've always been a SAHM and that's what I've done.

same here.

Also, what is there to say? We are UMC. Most women in our social circle have the choice to work or not work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's taking the place of "blessed" which implies some sort of divine decision making, when in reality you are just rich.

Nailed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It means that you're lucky that you were born into a good family with good parents who put you in a good neighborhood with a good school that helped you make good connections/friends that helped you grow in a good environment without any dysfunction/trauma/poverty etc that would have deterred you from going off to a good college to meet a good man who can afford to make you stay home with the kids.

Other moms aren't as fortunate and have to work to provide for their kids and themselves. My mom worked hard manual labor to help with the bills as my dad ran around with other women when he would say he worked. You have it good so good!

Everybody's got something. Don't be so judgey.

Some people have a lot more “something” than others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It means that you're lucky that you were born into a good family with good parents who put you in a good neighborhood with a good school that helped you make good connections/friends that helped you grow in a good environment without any dysfunction/trauma/poverty etc that would have deterred you from going off to a good college to meet a good man who can afford to make you stay home with the kids.

Other moms aren't as fortunate and have to work to provide for their kids and themselves. My mom worked hard manual labor to help with the bills as my dad ran around with other women when he would say he worked. You have it good so good!

Everybody's got something. Don't be so judgey.

Some people have a lot more “something” than others.

You obviously mean those who benefit from unearned white privilege.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's taking the place of "blessed" which implies some sort of divine decision making, when in reality you are just rich.

+1 Blessed implies that you are chosen somehow over other, lesser beings. That's really nauseating.
Lucky is more... just luck. The Wheel of Fortune

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I spoke to a fellow mom recently who told me 'I'm privileged to be able to stay at home with the kids'. While I understand why she said it and what she was getting at, it felt very odd in the moment. In fact it made me reflexively want to end the conversation as soon as possible. Does this qualifier actually make anyone feel better? Am i broken?

Only in DC! Lucky are those who can leave this area of virtue signalers.

[Anonymous]

I think it makes them sound even more obnoxious. Sorry, but people like that who float about their “privilege” are the most annoying. No need to apologize for being wealthy but going on about their privilege sounds totally fake and inauthentic. If they’re so guilted about their money, they should donate it and live like MC. Anything else is phony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:omg no - people should NOT say this. it sounds SO SO smug.

What would be a better way to phrase it?

“I am so blessed….” (In a southern accent obviously)

I say that I feel fortunate. But only if some freaking presses me on the topic. Otherwise why would anyone even be in a situation where they expressed their blessings/gratitude/privilege. It’s all gross.