If you could send your (African-American) son anywhere for school…

[Anonymous]

I'm a PP who made the switch from DCPS to private. We switched for 6th grade. Our son had a great DCPS education for elementary school, but the benefits of private school became more apparent and more important in MS and US. Smaller classes, more individual attention, better sports, art and music programs, and frankly, fewer troublemakers. And, most importantly, high expectations for my son.

[Anonymous]

You obviously don't know the make up of DCC and NEC consortium schools.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
But please don't assume that we're all racist and somehow have hidden prejudices. That would be an unfair generalization.

The PP is not assuming that you all are racist or have a hidden prejudices.

I actually believe what she is saying is a fact.

I am white female and would caution an AA mom with a son with the same advice and enourage her to be very vigilant. I have witnessed this kind of behavior and bias by white female (and male) teachers and feel that many times AA boys in particular face an uphill battle with teachers and administrators in mostly white public schools.

[Anonymous]

It boils down to parenting - white, AA, hispanic, Asian, mixed races, etc.

However, when you're in a school that's predominately minority (which sounds ridiculous in this day and age), many of those students will be FARMS (free and reduced meals), especially in schools bordering the District and PG. fact of life . . .

I've seen students living in poverty who earned scholarships to top universities. But they also had parents watching over them who had high expectations.

So it doesn't matter where you go to school. If students have high expectations set by parents and a loving home life, s/he will go far in his/her chosen field.

Sometimes this "racial business" is just bull.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would NOT send my AA boy to Norwood. Very few AA kids. In this area, there's no excuse for that unless you want it that way. Look at Concord Hill.

Concord Hill???? True, Norwood has very few AA students, but at least they have a Director of Diversity, inclusion/diversity committee, multicultural parents association....I don't even know if CH has ANY AA kids.

[Anonymous]

...said the privileged, know-it-all soccer mom...

Anonymous wrote:It boils down to parenting - white, AA, hispanic, Asian, mixed races, etc.

However, when you're in a school that's predominately minority (which sounds ridiculous in this day and age), many of those students will be FARMS (free and reduced meals), especially in schools bordering the District and PG. fact of life . . .

I've seen students living in poverty who earned scholarships to top universities. But they also had parents watching over them who had high expectations.

So it doesn't matter where you go to school. If students have high expectations set by parents and a loving home life, s/he will go far in his/her chosen field.

Sometimes this "racial business" is just bull.

[Anonymous]

hardly, dummy

teacher married to a teacher with two young children living in the burbs

Oh yeah - I grew up with two immigrant parents who learned how to speak English from watching TV and was one of the first to graduate from high school and to attend college.

So don't pretend to know who I am.

Anonymous wrote:...said the privileged, know-it-all soccer mom...

Anonymous wrote:It boils down to parenting - white, AA, hispanic, Asian, mixed races, etc.

However, when you're in a school that's predominately minority (which sounds ridiculous in this day and age), many of those students will be FARMS (free and reduced meals), especially in schools bordering the District and PG. fact of life . . .

I've seen students living in poverty who earned scholarships to top universities. But they also had parents watching over them who had high expectations.

So it doesn't matter where you go to school. If students have high expectations set by parents and a loving home life, s/he will go far in his/her chosen field.

Sometimes this "racial business" is just bull.

[Anonymous]

The problem is you are oversimplifying a situation that is extremely complex.

[Anonymous]

To the OP -- what does your son want? I would ask different AA males who have recently attended the privates to see what they think. I would think it might get lonely for an AA son to be one of the only AAs at a school. Then they get accused of acting "too white". Find a school with a good balance of minorities. I think GDS was a good suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the OP -- what does your son want? I would ask different AA males who have recently attended the privates to see what they think. I would think it might get lonely for an AA son to be one of the only AAs at a school. Then they get accused of acting "too white". Find a school with a good balance of minorities. I think GDS was a good suggestion.

OP here - My son is only 2 1/2 so we'll obviously have to continue to get to know him over the next several years and help him determine what environment may suit his interests, proficiencies and needs. I definitely don't want him to be one of the only AAs at a school. The school he is attending in the Fall has a good balance of minorities, and I really started this thread in the hope of getting suggestions of schools with a 'critical mass' of minorities where teachers and administrators (as well as other parents and students) really just view those students as they do any other students - where teachers take the time to get to know their students and help them tap into their abilities and love learning regardless of race, gender, religion, etc. I'm basically just generating a list of schools I can visit, try to meet parents from and generally keep an eye on over the next few years so that I'm not overwhelmed when the time comes to find a new school for him. I'm also weighing whether to try for #2, so figuring out whether or not we're likely to want to do private the full way through is something we'll need to keep in mind for budgeting purposes. I've seen some pretty troubling things on other threads about schools where AA boys are often labeled as being rambunctious or disorderly and subject to different disciplinary standards, while other male students who demonstrate these same behaviors are just seen as being boys (though there's a whole other can of worms there when you talk about the prevalent ADHD diagnoses and drug prescriptions among boys generally).

14:01 and 20:00 - I agree with elements of what both of you said (though not the mudslinging). I am fully aware of the critical role parents play in determining educational outcomes. My sister and I greatly benefitted from growing up with parents who both have graduate degrees and successful careers. We also saw our own parents and the parents of friends at times battle with school administrators at my 'Big 3' school over discipline that was sometimes more harshly applied to minority students, and I also saw some of my minority friends gradually feel defeated by a system that identified a small number of minority students each year as being promising students, and the vast majority as having some sort of other 'issues' (behavioral, academic, etc.). These kids had parents that were just as educated, involved, and persistent as my own, but for whatever reason were consistently and systematically treated differently than I was by the school that I continue to hold in very high regard. The point is that these things happen at every school whether we want to admit it or not. I don't think it's born of malice or hatred, it's just a fact of life in America that I'm trying to figure out how to address.

The role I'll play in supporting and educating my child is a given, and I have no doubt DH and I will do all we can to help DS achieve his fullest potential in his chosen field. That being said, it is an extremely complex situation that goes far beyond mere 'racial business.' There are exceptional kids and anecdotal success stories from all walks of life. The same holds true for heartbreaking stories of missed opportunities and low expectations. In all of these situations, there are sometimes cases where supportive parents were present, and sometimes where they were not. I am certain there could be far more success stories if our schools better served all children. Parental expectations are set at home, but I firmly believe that a place where your child spends a majority of his or her waking hours plays a critical role in the person they become - schools can reinforce, build upon, undo and sometime destroy the work of a parent. I think it's far from true that a kid from a family with high expectations is guaranteed success no matter where they attend school. Schools matter. Teachers matter. School administrators matter.

Like any parent, I want the best for my kid, and I feel blessed to live in an area where there are so many options that I'm in a position to take advantage of. Now it's just a matter of identifying the right one for my precious child. I appreciate all of the responses from PPs who understand where I'm coming from. If you don't understand, I respect your opinion, but respect my view that this phenomenon does, in fact, continue to exist, and my concern as a parent about helping my kid navigate these sometimes treacherous waters.

[Anonymous]

VEry well said OP. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

New poster here. OP, the more I read of your posts the more I recommend you check out Grace Episcopal in Silver Spring and Kensington. It's hard to explain, but this school is something special. African American students make up a good proportion of the student body and they tend to be very high achieving. The first class of graduating 8th graders is attending a pretty impressive group of schools this fall, but the more impressive thing to me is the way diversity seems very natural and even celebrated there. I look at the students singing the school anthem, with the chorus that says "Our differences are beautiful," and I swear, I get a little choked up. And the students and families are just plain nice, something that seems undervalued these days but which is important to me. I'm grateful my child gets to learn in this environment. I hope you will check out Grace, OP. Good luck with your school search.

[Anonymous]

Your parents learned English from watching television? Unfortunately, watching TV all day didn't teach you anything about having class. But then, I'm guessing your TV is more likely to be turned to Jerry Springer. LOL!

Anonymous wrote:hardly, dummy

teacher married to a teacher with two young children living in the burbs

Oh yeah - I grew up with two immigrant parents who learned how to speak English from watching TV and was one of the first to graduate from high school and to attend college.

So don't pretend to know who I am.

Anonymous wrote:...said the privileged, know-it-all soccer mom...

Anonymous wrote:It boils down to parenting - white, AA, hispanic, Asian, mixed races, etc.

However, when you're in a school that's predominately minority (which sounds ridiculous in this day and age), many of those students will be FARMS (free and reduced meals), especially in schools bordering the District and PG. fact of life . . .

I've seen students living in poverty who earned scholarships to top universities. But they also had parents watching over them who had high expectations.

So it doesn't matter where you go to school. If students have high expectations set by parents and a loving home life, s/he will go far in his/her chosen field.

Sometimes this "racial business" is just bull.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New poster here. OP, the more I read of your posts the more I recommend you check out Grace Episcopal in Silver Spring and Kensington. It's hard to explain, but this school is something special. African American students make up a good proportion of the student body and they tend to be very high achieving. The first class of graduating 8th graders is attending a pretty impressive group of schools this fall, but the more impressive thing to me is the way diversity seems very natural and even celebrated there. I look at the students singing the school anthem, with the chorus that says "Our differences are beautiful," and I swear, I get a little choked up. And the students and families are just plain nice, something that seems undervalued these days but which is important to me. I'm grateful my child gets to learn in this environment. I hope you will check out Grace, OP. Good luck with your school search.

OP again. Thanks for the suggestion. I'm definitely keeping Grace Episcopal on my radar, along with several others suggested on this board. Niceness is important to me as well, and it's encouraging to hear that there schools in this area that continue to encourage core values like kindness, diversity and a lifelong love of learning rather than solely gunning for Ivies (there are lots of scary parents on the DCUM private school forum).

[Anonymous]

I've heard great things about Grace Episcopal as well--and also the Capitol Hill Day School. Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

Am I the only person completely turned off by OP's racism?