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If you could send your (African-American) son anywhere for school…
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Anonymous
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This is an offshoot of a thread in the private school forum that reflects an issue I’m really struggling with. My 3 y.o. DS will attend a great Montessori school this Fall. Like any other parents, DH and I hope this first real ‘educational experience’ will help him develop a love of learning and continue to build on the self confidence and compassion we aim to give him at home. I know we will have to see how things go over the next few years before really planning for his next educational destination, but I can’t help but think about what types of schools in this area are best for African-American boys. I attended a ‘Big Three’ school in grades 4-12 and DH attended MoCo public schools pretty much all the way through, so I don’t doubt that there can be good outcomes for AAs in these types of environments. Nonetheless, I’ve also seen that an achievement gap persists in the most elite public and private schools in the area (even at the schools that DH and I attended) - the mess that is NCLB certainly hasn't given me greater assurance that the achievement gap is really closing in public school. It also seems that lower expectations have become a bit of the norm for AA boys in a number of public and private school environments. I am fully aware of the key role parents play in determining educational outcomes and plan to continue to play an active role in DS’s academic life, but the protective part of me wants to put my son in an environment that will minimize the likelihood that he’ll ‘fall through the cracks’ or just not achieve his full potential. I’d also like to think there's an environment where DS can just learn, play sports, make music, create art, etc. to his fullest potential without requiring that I be an incredibly overbearing mom or a PITA for DC's school administrators.
Are there schools out there that do a particularly good job of treating AA boys like any other students (i.e. not unjustly labeling them as having behavioral or learning difficulties, but challenging them so that they achieve their fullest potential as individuals)? We are currently in the Downcounty Consortium (MoCo), but have also considered moving elsewhere in the county or into NW D.C. as DS approaches elementary school. For what it’s worth, it is important to me that DS attend a school where there is a ‘critical mass’ of AA and other minority students such that he has the option of choosing to befriend kids that look exactly like him and kids that look nothing like him – it’s actually a big reason why we live where we live. Sorry for the rambling post, but I’m hoping others out there can relate to these concerns and offer some tips on finding great schools (private, public or charter), helping schools to view your kid as an individual rather than through a lens of subconscious pre-conceived notions, or just learning to get over it all and let a kid be a kid. Any constructive tips appreciated. |
Anonymous
| I share some of your concerns, OP. we live in the Downcounty consortium for much the same rasons as you mentioned. Higher overall test scores are not as important to us as raising our children in an environment where they are not the only AA students. We have two DDs, but I think we would be even more concerned if we had sons. I see parents on this group go on and on about how school is so unfair to their sons, no one understand boys, boys need to move around and burn off energy. They hold their boys back from kindergarten because they are not ready for school, etc. But then I also see parents who won't send their kids to downcounty elementary schools because they fear "those" children will be too rambunctious and not ready to learn. Are affluent white kids just energetic and misunderstood, while black and hispanic kids are unprepared products of a bad home environment? Some of these biases are so ingrained, and I do worry a little that teachers will have the same attitude. DD1 starts kindergarten in the fall. My strategy is to have high expectations of my children, and maybe have to be the PITA parent whois at every meeting, and keeps communication open with the teachers. |
Anonymous
| If you choose, as you mentioned, to move to NW DC and go the private school route, both Georgetown Day School and Washington International School have excellent reputations for, as you said, "treating AA boys like any other students." Also, in both communities, you'll find engaged parents of all stripes and origins. |
Anonymous
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OP, I wish I could help more -- my son is a minority but not AA. We live in North Potomac and I'm looking at either Butler School (Montessori K-8) or Seneca Academy (right now K-6) because I do think boys have a rougher time overall in the public schools, and both of these schools do well with boys in general. These two schools are fairly diverse ethnically, (while just 4% AA at Butler, it's about 13% at Seneca Academy). There aren't "any" kids of my son's ethnicity in our area, and I empathize with the desire to have kids like your son around. I've given up on that myself and am just focusing on making sure the school is boy-friendly.
Just putting the names out there because they might be worth looking at. My son's also 3, so maybe we'll see you around in a few years. 
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Anonymous
| I'm AA and share your concerns. My son went to a DCPS in NW (one of the "JKLM" schools) and had a very good experience there. The school was very diverse, small, and the parents and teachers were wonderful. Now he is at an all-boys' school and, while there are still issues of wealth and privilege to deal with, the experience has been a good one. In the lower grades, in particular, there are lots of AA boys who seem very happy and the school is very good at dealing with active learners. One of the reasons we did not stay in public for middle school, even though I hear very good things about Deal, is the problem with low expectations for AA boys. At our son's school, his teachers have high expectations for him, and he has risen to the challenge. I've heard similar good things about GDS and Maret. In my opinion, the money for private school is better spent in middle/high school. |
Anonymous
| Based on some of your criteria, I would suggest Norwood. Norwood doesn't have a large minority population, but we are familiar with a few AA families w/boys there and they are quite pleased. |
Anonymous
| I would NOT send my AA boy to Norwood. Very few AA kids. In this area, there's no excuse for that unless you want it that way. Look at Concord Hill. |
Anonymous
| Burgundy Farm in Alexandria will let your son be a child, offer many opportunities for art, music and everyone- usually-gets-to-play sports. It will also demand he use his intellect. It is a small school, and the make-up of the class varies year to year, so his peer group (while always bright) can be a roll of the dice in other ways. Worth taking a look if the commute would be possible for you. |
Anonymous
| Grace Episcopal. |
Anonymous
| Before you dismiss Norwood, might I suggest you take a tour. You might be pleasantly surprised. Also I have heard nothing but good things from AA parents who actually HAVE children enrolled in the school. Keep in mind Norwood is a K-8 in MontCo so it competes with very strong public schools as well as more reasonably priced privates. |
Anonymous
diverse? There's not one shot of any child of color on the gallery page. Of the 100 or so students in pre K-3, 97% are white (not hispanic). Of those of color, these are the categories listed: hispanic (1%), Asian/ Pacific Islander (1%), unspecified (1%). I suppose 3/100 children is diverse enough for you, PP? |
Anonymous
| 7:15 I'm assuming you're referring to Concord Hill bc there is diversity throughout Norwood's webpage including K teachers of color. They also list 30% diversity on the Norwood At A Glance page. |
Anonymous
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Here are some choices from the charter world that have a significant number of AA boys, and a large number of involved, highly educated, middle and upper class AA parents. I'm only listing the 3 where I personally know families that attend that fit the bill.
Washington Yu Ying EL Haynes EW Stokes |
Anonymous
| I'm hoping to send my AA boy to KIPP. As a single parent, I can't afford a well-known private school, but I'm far from qualifying for FARM either. |
Anonymous
If you're comfortable living in your neighborhood and the local school reflects the neighborhood, is there any reason you wouldn't focus there? I can relate to your concerns. I'm AA and was subjected to low expectations myself at supposedly excellent public schools in Massachusetts. DH (also a minority) and I chose our neighborhood precisely because of it's diversity. Schools aren't perfect, but we found neighbors and friends invested in local elementary and willing to mentor us on how to supplement what DCPS lacks. We're confident that race-based expectations in schoolwon't be a problem even if the score gaps don't close. Moving is of course a tricky strategy. Demand for Magnificent 7 type charter schools is skyrocketing (also known as "diverse" schools which is sometimes code for not 90% AA or 80% FARMS). How much of the elementary diversity and parental involvement will extend into upper grades is still an open question. And since these are charter schools, getting in is the luck of the lottery. It might be easier to get into GDS than EL Haynes these days.
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