Is this common? DD, who is a junior in college, is seeing a 27-year old MBA student

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this too large of an age gap? She said her friends are mostly dating mid-late 20s professionals as well.

Its not common at all and often predators take advantage of inexperienced girls who are learning to handle independence. Most undergrad girls and boys date people their own age plus minus 2.

She isn’t a freshman who was dropped on campus yesterday from her one horse town. Good lord. She’s a junior who has been living independently for at least 2.5 yrs and is likely on par maturity-wise w/ male grad students. My friends and I dated law students and MBAs as upperclassmen in college - this wasn’t weird at all and they weren’t creepy. The biggest creeps I met were the frat bros dropping roofies in our beers.

I always dated law students in college. I never thought they were "creepy". They studied a lot, so I had plenty of time to hang out with my own friends.

So?

I got black out drunk on weekends. I never thought it was "unhealthy". It was fun, I got great grades.

see...

[Anonymous]

I met DH when I was a sophomore in undergrad & a first year biglaw associate. We didn’t go “public” with our relationship for a year, and then once we did we obscured how me met. A year after I graduated from college, we moved cross-country and made up a totally different “how we met” story and kept my age private. It was a fun game!

[Anonymous]

I mostly dated grad students when I was a junior and senior in college. They weren't creeps - they were generally pretty nerdy, actually, which I was, too. It was the undergrad boys who just wanted hookups, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see an issue. When she is 27 he’ll be 33 what’s wrong with that?

The issue is now, when she's 20/21 and he's 27. Not that much they can have in common at that age. In 2 years it's not as big of a deal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see an issue. When she is 27 he’ll be 33 what’s wrong with that?

The issue is now, when she's 20/21 and he's 27. Not that much they can have in common at that age. In 2 years it's not as big of a deal

Ofc they have things in common. They are both full time students! At the same university. They may even have the same Professors depending on their major. She graduates in 13 months, and enters the workforce. He probably does too, re-enters the workforce. Both going through resumes and applications and interviews. They may or may not stay together long-term, but I can totally see how they got together in this stage in their life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see an issue. When she is 27 he’ll be 33 what’s wrong with that?

The issue is now, when she's 20/21 and he's 27. Not that much they can have in common at that age. In 2 years it's not as big of a deal

Ofc they have things in common. They are both full time students! At the same university. They may even have the same Professors depending on their major. She graduates in 13 months, and enters the workforce. He probably does too, re-enters the workforce. Both going through resumes and applications and interviews. They may or may not stay together long-term, but I can totally see how they got together in this stage in their life.

+1 Maybe they like the same music. Or restaurants. Or sports. Or authors. Or any number of things that people in their 20s might have in common. You all are so strange.

[Anonymous]

Age 21 female college student & age 27 male MBA student is a formula for marital bliss and a lifetime of happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aren't we infantilizing young women just a bit here? A 27 year-old's interest in a 21 year-old woman is "creepy?" Seriously?

I absolutely found older 20s men dating or trying to day my peers creepy when I was 21. I still find it creepy. Why can't they handle a woman their own age?

Im a guy and find it creepy too. I work in finance and there were always a couple late 20s associates who made moves towards new female analysts….creeps. Don’t see how going to business school would change that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aren't we infantilizing young women just a bit here? A 27 year-old's interest in a 21 year-old woman is "creepy?" Seriously?

I absolutely found older 20s men dating or trying to day my peers creepy when I was 21. I still find it creepy. Why can't they handle a woman their own age?

Im a guy and find it creepy too. I work in finance and there were always a couple late 20s associates who made moves towards new female analysts….creeps. Don’t see how going to business school would change that.

It was not the age difference that made it creepy. It was the finance bros perpetuating the meat market mentality from their frat days. THEY and THAT CULTURE YOU WORK IN are creepy. How can you not discern this difference?

[Anonymous]

Sounds great. As long as she's had plenty of dating experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds great. As long as she's had plenty of dating experience.

Not necessary.

[Anonymous]

From the other perspective, when I was in grad school, everyone made fun of the guys dating undergrads. And it was pretty much exclusively the guys who couldn’t manage a relationship of equals. I am sure that love is love and the heart wants what the heart wants and love is blind and all that…..but I think more often it’s just an immature guy looking for a younger woman that won’t really call him on his sh—t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From the other perspective, when I was in grad school, everyone made fun of the guys dating undergrads. And it was pretty much exclusively the guys who couldn’t manage a relationship of equals. I am sure that love is love and the heart wants what the heart wants and love is blind and all that…..but I think more often it’s just an immature guy looking for a younger woman that won’t really call him on his sh—t.

Exactly. Which is why some here think it is a recipe for happiness. It is for some men who need to feel superior/needed/admired. Easier with younger women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From the other perspective, when I was in grad school, everyone made fun of the guys dating undergrads. And it was pretty much exclusively the guys who couldn’t manage a relationship of equals. I am sure that love is love and the heart wants what the heart wants and love is blind and all that…..but I think more often it’s just an immature guy looking for a younger woman that won’t really call him on his sh—t.

Yup -- that's exactly how I would describe the guys in my law school who were dating undergrads. Really kind of weird retro relationships.

[Anonymous]

In SE culture, it not only accepted but encouraged.