Is this common? DD, who is a junior in college, is seeing a 27-year old MBA student

[Anonymous]

Meh. The problem is 27 year old guys who date 21 year olds tend not to be the best guys. They tend to be a little sleazy.

This would have been super weird when I was that age. But I wonder if it's more common now due to dating apps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this too large of an age gap? She said her friends are mostly dating mid-late 20s professionals as well.

Its not common at all and often predators take advantage of inexperienced girls who are learning to handle independence. Most undergrad girls and boys date people their own age plus minus 2.

[Anonymous]

When I was a senior (21), I dated a 36-yr old law student. It worked because we were both in school which was a much more similar stage in life than you’d expect. Within a few months of finishing school, it was much clearer that we were in different phases of life and we broke up. He’s still a good friend to this day, 16 years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a senior (21), I dated a 36-yr old law student. It worked because we were both in school which was a much more similar stage in life than you’d expect. Within a few months of finishing school, it was much clearer that we were in different phases of life and we broke up. He’s still a good friend to this day, 16 years later.

Also, this was in NYC, which I think makes a difference. I think it would have been a lot weirder in an isolated college town.

[Anonymous]

It’s probably fine. They are six years apart.

[Anonymous]

My freshman ds often complains about how the girls date so much older.

Personally I find it creepy on the guy's part.

[Anonymous]

Aren't we infantilizing young women just a bit here? A 27 year-old's interest in a 21 year-old woman is "creepy?" Seriously?

[Anonymous]

As a parent I wouldn't love it. In two years, no problem, but a junior in college is in a much different place than a 27 year old.
(And I was 23 when I met my (now DH) who was 31 so I'm not against an age gap generally)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aren't we infantilizing young women just a bit here? A 27 year-old's interest in a 21 year-old woman is "creepy?" Seriously?

I was thinking the same.

[Anonymous]

When I was 17, my boyfriend was 26. We were both university students. We lived together for 3 years. We are still friends 33 years later. Please don’t make assumptions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aren't we infantilizing young women just a bit here? A 27 year-old's interest in a 21 year-old woman is "creepy?" Seriously?

+1 really odd reaction to me, but I met my husband when I was 21 and he was 29.

[Anonymous]

Six year age gap with both of them being students seems fine to me. Might not last past graduation but who knows.

[Anonymous]

I dated graduate students when I was a junior (21) and senior. They were (slightly) more mature than boys my age. There isn’t a huge difference between 21 and 26 when you are both students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see an issue. When she is 27 he’ll be 33 what’s wrong with that?

There's nothing wrong with him being 33 when she is 27. At that point, most people have been in the workforce a few years and have a sense of what the adult world is like.

When their ages are 27 and 21, it's different. She's still an undergrad in college while he, presumably, has had a job for a couple of years and then decided to get an MBA. People learn and grow and change so much between the ages of 18-24. After that, a certain level of maturity sets in and adults are at the same level, relatively speaking. My 26-year-old ds dates women around his age and maturity level. I can't picture him dating women the age of his sister, who coincidentally is also a junior in college.

None of this is written in stone, and of course there are going to be 27-year-olds seeing 21-year-olds where they are a good match emotionally and everything is fine. You know your dd, so you will have a better sense of whether or not she and the MBA student would be good together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aren't we infantilizing young women just a bit here? A 27 year-old's interest in a 21 year-old woman is "creepy?" Seriously?

It’s not infantilizing to point out that the guy you’re saying probably has creepy issues.

27/2+7 = 20.5

It Does pass the creepy test, though.