DD and boyfriend got into same top choice

[Anonymous]

If it's her top choice (for reasons other than him) then ignore that it's his top choice. That stuff will sort itself out quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They will break up by Xmas. don’t worry about it.
Make sure they live in separate dorms, choose different classes, sign up for different clubs, be individualized even though they r going to the uni together

How are parents going to do all that helicoptering from home?

If its a good choice, let her go. Why trying to break them up? If it works out, good for them. If not, its fine too.

[Anonymous]

She may do better having her old BF from school with no need to to do random hookups and chasing boys. If they are good friends and positive influence for each other, it may help them both stay focused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I don't know a lot of HS kids dating seriously. But the ones I know are practically codependent on each other. They have parking spaces next to each other. Are constantly together. Go on vacations and family dinners together. The parents are together constantly. Are joined at the hip in school and at school events. . . .

Beyond being annoying, they have no sense of independence. I'd be super pissed if they were going to college together, though there truly wouldn't be a thing I could do about it.

Irs not ideal but therd are worse things. Why is it worse than random hook ups, drinking and doing other dangerous things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She may do better having her old BF fro

Oh please. You sound like my husband. Life is more than grade chasing.

[Anonymous]

Same situation here, but a few years in at top choice school for both. Still together. It’s their life. Leave it to them but encourage her to develop separate friendships from the couple friendships. Then if they break up she won’t be high and dry socially.

[Anonymous]

OP how are you worried your DD will be held back, do you mean socially or academically, or both?

I knew couples who arrived at my college while still together and most of them did not last the distance, but they remained amicable - there was no huge dramatic falling out. Each found their own niche and got in with it.

I think a worse situation can be when couples are separated and spend all their free time going to visit each other.

[Anonymous]

your husband is wrong.

Why should her boyfriend get to live out her dream college experience, because her father thinks that is best.

Just help her think through their possible break up.

One woman I know had a very painful freshman year because she and boyfriend broke up and she had to see him on campus with other women. Would had been easier to forget if he was at some other school.

And, of course, birth control.

[Anonymous]

I feel like it will be fine. What would separating them do? She’ll probably just be madly in love with a new boyfriend you hate by Christmas at whatever school you send her too.

It’s not impossible to be in a relationship and have a healthy life and ambition even when you are 19.

[Anonymous]

It's perfect. Once they break up, they still have their top choice of college.