Braggadocios mother conveniently didn’t mention this bad news - - how to proceed

[Anonymous]

What were the setbacks the person had?

And OP I get it, I don’t think you are crazy at all, I would feel the same way if my mother was like yours. I say you go ahead and let your mother know you know of the setbacks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Hey, Mom, bad things happened to Larla. You brag about her, but she lost her job and her husband has cancer. Hahahahaha!"

How stupid does that sound?

This is how I feel, minus the haha. I don’t find it funny. I don’t find it anything. I just find it - - something - - that my mother loves to brag for the sake of bragging but is silent about this since it’s not brag worthy. It’s not fun for me.

I doesn’t sound like this is about you.

What I’m trying to say is, it was apparent today that my mom is weaponizing these brags to hurt me, or at least that’s my perception now. She’s not just making conversation about this family member in general, or she would have mentioned it. I heard about how her random bingo friend had a tree fall through her house. I heard about how her neighbor came home with their car’s rear end smashed in. So she’s only telling me things to hurt me, not to inform me of her life in a general way.

That's good information to have. If you choose to stay in contact with your mom, remember it.

Also, the next time she brags I give you permission to say, "Oh good, I'm so glad to hear that. I've been so worried about Larla ever since she lost the house." Or whatever. Then your mom knows you know the other stuff too.

This is what I would do, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a family member with whom I no longer speak. We have a long history but for the sake of this post, she’s essentially the golden child and I’m the black sheep. My family is very toxic and any relationship I have with them is strictly out of obligation.

My mother loves to brag about the easily acquired successes of a particular family member. Despite expressing my desire not to discuss this person in any capacity and shutting it down when it happens, my mother always manages to first sneak in a brag about their high-paying job, expensive new house, luxurious travel, etc, etc.

So you can imagine my surprise today when I found out from an outside impartial source about two really big blows this person experienced this year. I was shocked!

So here I am. Both of these things happened in January. If they had been happy things, I have zero doubts my mother wouldn’t have made a phone call to me just to fit in a brag. It’s ironic though that she hasn’t even spoken about these setbacks. I want to be the bigger person, but a part of me wants to rub this in my moms face. DCUM, please talk me down and help me process this.

You remind me of my niece and both of you need a lot of professional help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a family member with whom I no longer speak. We have a long history but for the sake of this post, she’s essentially the golden child and I’m the black sheep. My family is very toxic and any relationship I have with them is strictly out of obligation.

My mother loves to brag about the easily acquired successes of a particular family member. Despite expressing my desire not to discuss this person in any capacity and shutting it down when it happens, my mother always manages to first sneak in a brag about their high-paying job, expensive new house, luxurious travel, etc, etc.

So you can imagine my surprise today when I found out from an outside impartial source about two really big blows this person experienced this year. I was shocked!

So here I am. Both of these things happened in January. If they had been happy things, I have zero doubts my mother wouldn’t have made a phone call to me just to fit in a brag. It’s ironic though that she hasn’t even spoken about these setbacks. I want to be the bigger person, but a part of me wants to rub this in my moms face. DCUM, please talk me down and help me process this.

You remind me of my niece and both of you need a lot of professional help.

Hello o’s narc mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can understand initially taking a little petty satisfaction in the misfortunes of someone who has long been a thorn in your side, but I don't understand following the petty satisfaction with a public request for others to help you continue on down the path of pettiness.

None of this was ever about you: your sister's achievements weren't secret plans to hurt you, and your sister's problems don't exist for your benefit.

Exactly this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t sound like a good person.

But look at who raised her. Damage happens. Sorry, OP.