how do introverts have children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is part of why I didn't have kids - I don't know if introversion is the word I'd use, but I didn't think I could stand the constant noise and hubub. I love my nieces and nephews - love them so much - but I am exhausted after we spend time with them. It's just relentless talking, motion, etc etc etc, from first thing in the morning until it's time for bed. Then of course you have to socialize with other parents nonstop at all the games and activities, too.

My husband needs even more quiet time to himself than I do, so he def wouldn't have been the one to compensate for my need for quiet.

That doesn't answer your question, OP - but it's definitely something that I've wondered about, too. I don't know why people are jumping down your throat so much.

I came here to post a version of this, so I won't repeat it, but chiming in here that I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d recommend having only 1 child. I managed quite well until #2 came along.

Hahaha I'd say the opposite. Having two is sometimes exhausting but I feel like I get more breaks because they can socialize and play with each other while I read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what I found was that I don't feel like I have to be "on" with my kids, and thus, they don't sap energy.

This is true for me too. Although kids do tire me out to some degree and I do need some alone time. Overall - kids are in the category of that one trusted person that its fine to just be with and don't sap my energy like other social interactions with people I don't feel close to.

I agree with both of these BUT will note that while I don't feel like I need to be "on" for my kid, I do have a kid who demands a pretty high level of attention and engagement, and that is hard as an introvert. I love her to bits and am willing to step up to give her what she needs, but one reason we stopped at one kid is that if our second kid was as demanding, it would be miserable for me. With one, I can pour all my energy into engaging with her, but then she goes to school or to bed or DH and I can trade off time with her. If I had two kids like this, I think I'd burn out fast because there are days when she goes to bed and I am just absolutely exhausted at 8pm and can barely move or talk because I'm so tapped out. I actually rearranged my work schedule so that I work from 6-7am, and then don't log back on until 10am, because I found that trying to dive into work right after doing the morning routine with DD was too hard -- I needed a buffer to relax and recharge before I could be productive, because she talks nonstop from the moment she wakes up until she disappears into the entrance to her school, and it's a lot.

But as she's gotten older, I can also tell her (in a kind way that doesn't blame her for my own mental state) when I need some distance or a chance to be alone, and she can accept it. Also, there's a good chance she has ADHD (before anyone jumps in to tell me, trust me, I know) and now that she's old enough that we could probably start treating, I think that might help too.

But yeah, I couldn't have two kids like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m an introvert. One of my bio kids is an introvert. The other is an extrovert. DH is an extrovert. SS is an extrovert. The kid we adopted is an introvert. We all love each other and respect individual needs. I think most families are that way. No need to pathologize one personality type.

Perfect response!

Labels are silly. While I would consider myself an introvert, there is nothing about that that makes me a bad mom. I'm in tune with my kids. Our house is calm-ish. My husband is somewhat introverted, though less so, and the kids are a mix. It's all good. The world needs a variety of personalities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This entire thread should be deleted because of the blatant hate against introversion.

Introversion is part of the range of normal, people.

It's shocking how introverts are portrayed by OP and others.

- introverted person, with a whole circle of friends and relatives who are also introverted. We're all perfectly normal people.

Agree metro boomin

[Anonymous]

I’m an introvert with anxiety/ocd. I am still social though, just in small bursts. Spending an afternoon with other kids/parents is fine, I love being outside especially, but in the evening I wouldn’t plan an another activity. It’s down time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meds. Honestly. And my partner and I give one another chunks of personal time. My kid is very extroverted. Sometimes it’s expensive.

Meant exhausting. Lol. But it can be expensive as well…

Help me, I'm so introverted and have a social butterfly DD. I seriously need a week long stay at a hospital to recooperate. Mentally and energy wise I feel very out of sorts.

[Anonymous]

op here. didn’t mean to imply that all introverts have anxiety or other issues. thanks to those of you who assumed good intentions - really appreciate what you shared and suggested.

[Anonymous]

Better be quiet than loud af

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Introversion does not equal anxious, sensory avoidant or whatever else you had on your mind.

And even if you have those things to a certain degree, with or without introversion, when you love someone, you find ways to connect. I am introverted, my husband is introverted, my parents are introverted, my kids are introverted...

You're a weirdo.

NP. Why are you being such a dick?

NP. PP wasn’t. OP is.

[Anonymous]

How do super extroverted people have children? It seems to me that excessive socializing and caring excessively about what other people think of you is more of an impediment to creating and maintaining a family unit. To be a good parent you need to not give a s**t about unimportant social things. Extroverts struggle with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:how do introverts have children? particularly if you have anxiety, sensory processing and/or similar issues.

They have unprotected sexual intercourse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Introversion does not equal anxious, sensory avoidant or whatever else you had on your mind.

And even if you have those things to a certain degree, with or without introversion, when you love someone, you find ways to connect. I am introverted, my husband is introverted, my parents are introverted, my kids are introverted...

You're a weirdo.

NP. Why are you being such a dick?

Because half the world is introverted. Introversion, like extroversion, is a NORMAL state of being. OP makes it seems as if introverts are somehow abnormal, or disabled, and specifically associates them with disabilities.

It's downright offensive and OP is lucky I didn't use stronger words.

I'm very, very, very introverted. There is nothing offensive about OP's question.

If it has triggered you that much, you have additional things going on.

OP sounds like an introvert who is considering having kids, and is asking an honest question. Not everything is personal attack on you.

I honestly doubt it. OP wouldn't phrase it that rudely if they were talking about themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Introversion does not equal anxious, sensory avoidant or whatever else you had on your mind.

And even if you have those things to a certain degree, with or without introversion, when you love someone, you find ways to connect. I am introverted, my husband is introverted, my parents are introverted, my kids are introverted...

You're a weirdo.

NP. Why are you being such a dick?

Because half the world is introverted. Introversion, like extroversion, is a NORMAL state of being. OP makes it seems as if introverts are somehow abnormal, or disabled, and specifically associates them with disabilities.

It's downright offensive and OP is lucky I didn't use stronger words.

OP sounds like an introvert who is considering having kids, and is asking an honest question. Not everything is personal attack on you.

I honestly doubt it. OP wouldn't phrase it that rudely if they were talking about themselves.

I'm very, very, very introverted. There is nothing offensive about OP's question.

If it has triggered you that much, you have additional things going on.

[Anonymous]

I'm an introvert with three kids. Here is how I do it:

-I WFH so not as much interaction with people at work
-I give a lot to my kids but also workout everyday by myself for my sanity
-I don't have as much energy for friendships or mom talk. I like other moms and hope I don't seem unfriendly, but I'm usually not up for mindless chit-chat. I can do deep, interesting conversations, but surface level stuff takes too much out of me. My husband brings the kids to a lot of birthday parties.
-I have a close circle of 4-5 friends and try my best to maintain those friendships but honestly can't do much else. I've accepted this.