If you hit a child who hits your child...

[Anonymous]

OP, I would want to wallop this little monster good. I couldn't bear the thought up someone bullying my child. I would yell and be the scary adult. I would do everything at my disposal short of harming the child, so I would definitely call CPS and make a huge stink to the parents. Threaten to call the police, etc. I think it's important for your daughter to see you so outraged by this bullying. You are standing up for your daughter and letting her know that bullying will not be tolerated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would want to wallop this little monster good. I couldn't bear the thought up someone bullying my child. I would yell and be the scary adult. I would do everything at my disposal short of harming the child, so I would definitely call CPS and make a huge stink to the parents. Threaten to call the police, etc. I think it's important for your daughter to see you so outraged by this bullying. You are standing up for your daughter and letting her know that bullying will not be tolerated.

OP here. I agree with the yelling, no one can claim anything if I raise my voice. I will do that again if we have anymore trouble.
I am kind of scared of the parents, speaking to them can go two ways. They seem like the type who would ramp it up a notch, and make things worse. They seem to have this look of "I dare you".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would want to wallop this little monster good. I couldn't bear the thought up someone bullying my child. I would yell and be the scary adult. I would do everything at my disposal short of harming the child, so I would definitely call CPS and make a huge stink to the parents. Threaten to call the police, etc. I think it's important for your daughter to see you so outraged by this bullying. You are standing up for your daughter and letting her know that bullying will not be tolerated.

OP here. I agree with the yelling, no one can claim anything if I raise my voice. I will do that again if we have anymore trouble.
I am kind of scared of the parents, speaking to them can go two ways. They seem like the type who would ramp it up a notch, and make things worse. They seem to have this look of "I dare you".

So tired of these fake posts. OP is afraid of talking to the parents b/c THAT will ramp it up a notch, but OP hasn't considered the ramping up that might occur if she HITS their child? C'mon... Trying to provoke a response, OP? Because you've gotten your answer: you are not allowed to hit a child. You said you didn't want any "philosophical" replies, but you're begging for them with your additional responses. Of course you already know that hitting a child is morally wrong, no matter what type of little shit that child is. You've painted a picture of a terrible bully -- if this is a real situation, I'm sure it sucks. But you also sound like you're not the most engaged parent -- kid is with a husband or babysitter that isn't supervising carefully enough when there is such a major danger as you describe running loose in your neighborhood? C'mon. Not buying this post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would want to wallop this little monster good. I couldn't bear the thought up someone bullying my child. I would yell and be the scary adult. I would do everything at my disposal short of harming the child, so I would definitely call CPS and make a huge stink to the parents. Threaten to call the police, etc. I think it's important for your daughter to see you so outraged by this bullying. You are standing up for your daughter and letting her know that bullying will not be tolerated.

OP here. I agree with the yelling, no one can claim anything if I raise my voice. I will do that again if we have anymore trouble.
I am kind of scared of the parents, speaking to them can go two ways. They seem like the type who would ramp it up a notch, and make things worse. They seem to have this look of "I dare you".

This is the issue. You don't need to hit this bully in order to solve the problem. You want to hit the child because you yourself are too timid to confront the parents. What's your child going to learn, but to be the timid fearful kid that gets picked on by others? And what do you plan to do if you hurt this kid and all of a sudden he goes bawling to his parents, who will, rightly, come to your door to demand an explanation? "I was scared of you so I took the easy way out?" "I had no choice, it was self defense?" It's not going to look that way.

If you want to model appropriate behavior for your child, you need to be brave enough to confront the parents and/or call the police.

[Anonymous]

Stop feeding the troll!

[Anonymous]

It's interesting that nobody has mentioned anything about why this 8-year-old kid is such a bully. He sounds like a kid who is absolutely crying out for someone to look after him. Instead of hitting this child (2nd grader?!) how about killing him with kindness? Talk with him, bring him some snacks. This kid has issues and they seem directly related to his unfortunate home life. You should talk to his parents, but you should also try and engage with him.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would be afraid for my kids in this situation. I think I would consult CPS because this child sounds like he needs help. I disagree with the "killing him with kindness" comment. This is an 8 y.o. kid. He needs professional help and more than a neighbor can or should be doing. Since there have been repeated episodes with your kids and others in the neighborhood, I think I would try to band with other neighbors and develop a response.

[Anonymous]

OP, please consider that if you hit, push, or pull an eight-year-old, you may injure him. Your posts sound extremely angry, and for everyone's sake I hope you can find a way to calm yourself before you do anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again, my kids can not defend themselves, my son is 40 lbs. less than him.
I did threaten him, and no one else heard. I figured that would be one layer of defense. He did seem concerned.
My children are often supervised by baby sitters and husband, they don't always remember.
The child's father seems reckless. He has driven drunk, and at high speeds through the neighborhood. He left wife #1 for cutie #2, winks at my baby sitter. He smoked cigars while walking this child as a baby in the stroller, and served beer at the child's birthday party. You get the picture.
I did some more checking, and I can legally defend my child if the child is actively hitting mine. I can push him away, and forcibly remove his stick. I really want to grab him by his shirt and draw him close and threaten to wallop him good.
Arhhh!!!

We serve beer/wine to the adults at our kids parties- I don't think there's anything wrong with that...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP who asked for more info earlier in the thread. Now that you've provided more details, I have to say that I find this thread even more bizarre and disturbing. It still seems to me that the easiest and best solution for all involved is to keep your kids away from this child. Why the OP seems unable or unwilling to contemplate this doesn't make sense to me. And why a dozen PPs would prefer to go to court or to take some form of aggression or violence against someone else's child is just plain absurd. Maybe this child is a serial killer in the making or maybe he's just a troubled kid who needs better parenting, I don't know and neither does anyone else, including the OP. But the responses ranging from bloodthirsty to litigation-happy all seem to ignore the fact that it is absolutely within the OP's control where her children interact with this kid. If as you say your husband or babysitters can't remember to follow this simple instruction, then you've got other problems than this child.

While I agree that hitting the kid is inappropriate, I think your proposed solution is ridiculous and an indication of why we're so f'ed up in this area. Why should OP's kid have to stay inside or not play with the rest of the (assumingly rational) neighborhood kids? This is how bullys stay in business -- because no one takes them on and everyone placates them to "keep the peace." It sounds like this child id not being properly cared for and a think good citizenship calls for someone to help -- I suggest calling CPS or the like.

[Anonymous]

OP, if your oldest is six she needs to be supervised when she's outdoors anyway. How old is your son? It sounds as if DH and babysitter have a different perspective -- talk to them and see what they have to say.

[Anonymous]

I agree, tell your child its okay to yell/scream/hit back. My mom used to say, "Kick 'em where it counts!" when it came to our neighborhood bully.

I would also definitely call CPS and file an anonymous complaint, saying that you are neighbors and fear retaliation on your family. You could also looking into getting a restraining order - I don't know anything about this though, except from TV.

[Anonymous]

I certainly would take action if my kid was being bullied, like you OP. And I would be angry too.

But get angry at the parents more than the 8 year old. Am I the only one who feels sorry for this kid if he's growing up in a house the way you describe or think it is?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again, my kids can not defend themselves, my son is 40 lbs. less than him.
I did threaten him, and no one else heard. I figured that would be one layer of defense. He did seem concerned.
My children are often supervised by baby sitters and husband, they don't always remember.
The child's father seems reckless. He has driven drunk, and at high speeds through the neighborhood. He left wife #1 for cutie #2, winks at my baby sitter. He smoked cigars while walking this child as a baby in the stroller, and served beer at the child's birthday party. You get the picture.
I did some more checking, and I can legally defend my child if the child is actively hitting mine. I can push him away, and forcibly remove his stick. I really want to grab him by his shirt and draw him close and threaten to wallop him good.
Arhhh!!!

We serve beer/wine to the adults at our kids parties- I don't think there's anything wrong with that...

Hah! Beat me to it...