If you hit a child who hits your child...

[Anonymous]

Police! I would call them!

[Anonymous]

OMG! You can not touch this kid. Trying to put myself in your shoes, and I would be upset about the bullly as well. Perhaps you can talk sternly to this kid and tell him he should not be playing near other kids if he is going to behave that way. Or just plain simple tell him that he is not to go anywhere near your kids.

[Anonymous]

I would call the police and CPS. No holds barred. Except you can't touch him.

[Anonymous]

Just curious, if OP came upon the kid beating up on her own kid -- she can forcibly separate them, right? If I witness a kid beating up on my kid, I'd do whatever I had to to separate them. That can't be considered assault/battery.

OP, have you talked to the parents? At the very least, you should tell them you don't want their kid on your property. I also 2nd the CPS suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Separating the bully from another child is not the same as hitting him. OP it was not smart to threaten to hit him, especially if there were witnesses. (Did your child hear this threat?) I'd call the police and describe the situation and ask what your options are as far as reporting anonymously etc. I would research CPS. Do NOT hit this child or any child. Hitting is not self defense. You could be charged with assault.

[Anonymous]

Wait, this kid is coming through the neighborhood unsupervised, but is OP supervising her kids? If so, she can keep this kid away, no?

[Anonymous]

7:06 Of course but not with violence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you've got to give some more details here. How old is the bully? How has he attacked other kids - what sort of action and under what circumstances? Those answers would skew my advice - there's a big difference between a 5 or 6yo "bully" getting rough with his peers at a busstop versus a predator teen or preteen viciously beating smaller children. And finally, why can't you just keep your children and any other potential victims away from this child? I don't understand why people are advocating violence, police, etc, without even knowing the answers to these pretty basic questions.

My thoughts, too. OP, I don't believe you've talked about whether or not you've tried contacting the parents. Also...if this kid is such a neighborhood terror, have you had a discussion with the other parents whose children are being bullied? Maybe you can come together to discuss this matter and approach the parents of the bully as a group?

[Anonymous]

really the bully needs a life lesson. I would give my child permission to beat the shit out of this kid. He needs it. But my kids would not do it, so I would have to come up with some other way of stopping him. Really cause the parents a hard time. Call the police, Social services, what ever causes them the most problem. Maybe they will wake up and take control of their little monster.

[Anonymous]

OP again, my kids can not defend themselves, my son is 40 lbs. less than him.
I did threaten him, and no one else heard. I figured that would be one layer of defense. He did seem concerned.
My children are often supervised by baby sitters and husband, they don't always remember.
The child's father seems reckless. He has driven drunk, and at high speeds through the neighborhood. He left wife #1 for cutie #2, winks at my baby sitter. He smoked cigars while walking this child as a baby in the stroller, and served beer at the child's birthday party. You get the picture.
I did some more checking, and I can legally defend my child if the child is actively hitting mine. I can push him away, and forcibly remove his stick. I really want to grab him by his shirt and draw him close and threaten to wallop him good.
Arhhh!!!

[Anonymous]

How times have changed... here we have people advocating suing not just the parents, but the CHILD! And claiming this is a more reasonable action than whapping the brat.

I get that hitting the kid would get the OP in trouble, but really... filing a civil suit against an 8 year old?

I'm in the anti-spanking camp, but the advice I've liked best so far is to give him a good hard twisting pinch when no one's looking. If/when he tattles, you look surprised, then laugh, and say "is this another one of your stories, like when you told me that your dad used to play for the Redskins?"

[Anonymous]

I'm the PP who asked for more info earlier in the thread. Now that you've provided more details, I have to say that I find this thread even more bizarre and disturbing. It still seems to me that the easiest and best solution for all involved is to keep your kids away from this child. Why the OP seems unable or unwilling to contemplate this doesn't make sense to me. And why a dozen PPs would prefer to go to court or to take some form of aggression or violence against someone else's child is just plain absurd. Maybe this child is a serial killer in the making or maybe he's just a troubled kid who needs better parenting, I don't know and neither does anyone else, including the OP. But the responses ranging from bloodthirsty to litigation-happy all seem to ignore the fact that it is absolutely within the OP's control where her children interact with this kid. If as you say your husband or babysitters can't remember to follow this simple instruction, then you've got other problems than this child.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the perfect message to send your child: If a kid hits you, Mommy will hit that kid.

Are you insane, OP?

If you hit this child, bully or not, you deserve to be prosecuted for battery and sued civilly by the child's parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP who asked for more info earlier in the thread. Now that you've provided more details, I have to say that I find this thread even more bizarre and disturbing. It still seems to me that the easiest and best solution for all involved is to keep your kids away from this child. Why the OP seems unable or unwilling to contemplate this doesn't make sense to me. And why a dozen PPs would prefer to go to court or to take some form of aggression or violence against someone else's child is just plain absurd. Maybe this child is a serial killer in the making or maybe he's just a troubled kid who needs better parenting, I don't know and neither does anyone else, including the OP. But the responses ranging from bloodthirsty to litigation-happy all seem to ignore the fact that it is absolutely within the OP's control where her children interact with this kid. If as you say your husband or babysitters can't remember to follow this simple instruction, then you've got other problems than this child.

This is a common problem. You can talk, but only so much is absorbed.
BTW, if the child is always out, then that is not fair to the other children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again, my kids can not defend themselves, my son is 40 lbs. less than him.
I did threaten him, and no one else heard. I figured that would be one layer of defense. He did seem concerned.
My children are often supervised by baby sitters and husband, they don't always remember.
The child's father seems reckless. He has driven drunk, and at high speeds through the neighborhood. He left wife #1 for cutie #2, winks at my baby sitter. He smoked cigars while walking this child as a baby in the stroller, and served beer at the child's birthday party. You get the picture.
I did some more checking, and I can legally defend my child if the child is actively hitting mine. I can push him away, and forcibly remove his stick. I really want to grab him by his shirt and draw him close and threaten to wallop him good.
Arhhh!!!

The mom is the one you need to be dealing with, not the kid. She's the one not parenting her child, the kid is just behaving as the result of a crappy home. I'd be over at her house every day complaining (with friends from the hood, if possible) until she kept her son away from mine, even if it was just to get me off her back. If that didn't work, I'd call the cops and say I thought my child's life was being endangered by her DS.