If you hit a child who hits your child...

[Anonymous]

can you be charged?

Lawyers please weigh in.
There is a neighborhood bully who has attacked just about every kid. I warned him if he hits my dd, 6, I will hit him back.

I do not want to hear any philosophy, just the legalities.

[Anonymous]

Yes. That is an assault.

[Anonymous]

Oh, hell yes. Completely battery. Possibly a civil suit depending on the parents. NOT a good idea.

[Anonymous]

You would be arrested. He is a child, you are an adult. I assume you have tried talking with his parents?

If all other avenues have failed, teach your DD to defend herself. If he is really dangerous, tell her to knee him in the balls. Otherwise, enroll her in Tae Kwon Do.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Hitting anyone is an assault (with exceptions for self-defense) and assault on a child by an adult is its own category.

I agree that it's much better to teach your child to defend him/herself and explicitly give your child permission to hit this kid back. I would then tell the parent that you have done this (if they are not violent themselves) and also any teachers that might oversee both children.

When I was in preschool there was a biter in my class that the teachers were unable to successfully curtail, and my father took this approach. He told me to bite back the next time, and simply informed the teachers the next morning. When they said 'you can't do that,' he just said, 'it's too late, I've already told her.'

[Anonymous]

That is when my tough older brother was such a godsend for me and my sisters...he didn't put up with anyone messing with his little sisters! I feel for you.

As tempting as it would be to smack the little b*strd...you just can't. He's a child, you are an ADULT.

I would tell her to kick him hard in the balls.

[Anonymous]

Is the bully hitting the OP's DD considered assault?

Maybe you can hit the parents with a lawsuit if they are ignoring your pleas to resolve the situation?

[Anonymous]

Without a doubt you would be guilty of an assault and battery in Virginia.

If the child is hitting your children and other children in the neighborhood, if you witness it, you can file a petition in your local juvenile court against the child for assault and battery of your child. Don't know where it would go ultimately, but if you have tried every other avenue, it is an option.

[Anonymous]

OP again, what if I push the child (hard) away from my child as he is hitting her?
Also, if I do not retaliate physically, can I really sue? If so, for how much? If I call the police, will they get mad at me for a nuisance call?

[Anonymous]

Have you talked to the parents? Can you call the non-emergency line and ask them if they'd be willing to send an officer out to talk to the child?

[Anonymous]

How about taking the child by the hand and marching him firmly (but not recklessly or harmfully) to his caretakers. Or if you think they will not do the right thing, give him a time out yourself. Again, in the right way. No angry out of control grownup behavior, please. You can and must rise above that. Don't provide him yet another lesson on how to be a meanie (or a pushover).

[Anonymous]

There is no mention if the parents have been attempted to be contacted...even if there is another caregiver watching them..has anyone gotten hold of the parents? Are they worthless?

First step---take it to the parents. If it is talking to a brick wall, they don't believe you and/or they do nothing about it..then it's time to consider other options.

I would pull my child out of harm's way and I would def. give the bully a piece of my mind--but you cannot resort to any sort of 'physical' contact with him.

Can you recruit a 'ringer' kid to come beat the crap out of him?

[Anonymous]

How old is this kid?

[Anonymous]

Tell the kid to stay off your property and escort him off if he ignores you.

[Anonymous]

OP, you've got to give some more details here. How old is the bully? How has he attacked other kids - what sort of action and under what circumstances? Those answers would skew my advice - there's a big difference between a 5 or 6yo "bully" getting rough with his peers at a busstop versus a predator teen or preteen viciously beating smaller children. And finally, why can't you just keep your children and any other potential victims away from this child? I don't understand why people are advocating violence, police, etc, without even knowing the answers to these pretty basic questions.