Inappropriate conversations at school - how to handle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids do the moaning thing too. They have no idea what it “means”-they just think it’s funny. I think it comes from Tik-Tok which they don’t have access to, but makes its way to my kids via kids at school. Mine are 8 and 10. I try not to react but it sure grates on my nerves!

I think this is correct. My kid had a friend who used to do this all the time, although thank god my kid didn't join in. It was clear neither had any idea what it meant, and I didn't speak up because I didn't want to draw attention to it. Fortunately, the trend seemed to fade away pretty quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Over the past month or so my daughter (2nd grade) has been coming home and telling me stories about things the boys say in class. The most recent story is the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Apparently, it is a regular occurrence that they make sexual moaning noises in class. DD doesn’t know why it’s inappropriate, but she feels like it is and that she should tell me when they do it.

I’ve had her tell me multiple times about boys calling the girls “strippers.”

Today, she informed me that they were talking about how “Lucy chokes on too many…” and then used a slang word I didn’t recognize. When I asked what she thought that meant she pointed to her private parts.

There is one name in particular that keeps coming up when she tells me these stories, but she is hesitant to name names because she doesn’t want her classmates to view her as a taddle tail.

This seems like more of a principal or social work issue, but are those the right people to contact? Or should I start with the teacher? I don't want to have to keep having these conversations with my 8 year old.

2nd grade is really young for all that stuff, even with tik tok around. My guess, as a teacher, would be that it's coming from just a couple of kids - probably boys - with older siblings and lax parents. I would expect this stuff to be widespread in middle school, but if it's that pervasive in a 2nd grade classroom then there is a problem, and I bet the teacher knows where (who) it's coming from.

[Anonymous]

An addendum to the above - talk to the teacher, OP. Don't go over his/her head until you've done that first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Out of the blue, my 3rd grade DS, proudly declared at Christmas dinner as we sat down with relatives, "I know how to moan!", and proceeded to make moaning noises. I WAS HORRIFIED. I just told him to stop immediately, and then afterwards, without going into detail of where in fact that noise comes from, just told him that it is inappropriate just like a bad word, and that he should not be doing that. He said he learned it from other kids in class. I'm glad? that it's not just his class or school. Though I figured it stemmed from YouTube or TikTok, I had no idea it was a challenge. Ugh.

I'm across the country and had a very similar thing happened. First time he was with a group and I ignored hoping that was best if it was for attention. Second time, I asked DS if he knew what he was doing and what the noises were. I kind of guided him about its inappropriateness until he got VERY uncomfortable. He hasn't done it again. Be explicit about why it's inappropriate and don't assume other kids doing it have phones/social media/access to pornography as they may be parroting class mates. My kids could tell you all about some shows/ horror movies in kindergarten when they didn't even get screen time beyond some Nickelodeon because the kids with access show off to all and it spreads as something "cool" or rebellious.

[Anonymous]

The moaning was going on in our ES too; in 4th grade last year....some of the kids would moan all the time, and my kids caught on too...probably saw it on tik-tok or youtube, or kids with older brothers....poor teachers... kids it seems are moaning so loud during class and on purpose that teachers can hear it....so inappropriate....not sure if they know what the sound really covers.....

[Anonymous]

“Over the past month or so my daughter (2nd grade) has been coming home and telling me stories about things the boys say in class. The most recent story is the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Apparently, it is a regular occurrence that they make sexual moaning noises in class. DD doesn’t know why it’s inappropriate, but she feels like it is and that she should tell me when they do it.

I’ve had her tell me multiple times about boys calling the girls “strippers.”

Today, she informed me that they were talking about how “Lucy chokes on too many…” and then used a slang word I didn’t recognize. When I asked what she thought that meant she pointed to her private parts.

There is one name in particular that keeps coming up when she tells me these stories, but she is hesitant to name names because she doesn’t want her classmates to view her as a taddle tail.

This seems like more of a principal or social work issue, but are those the right people to contact? Or should I start with the teacher? I don't want to have to keep having these conversations with my 8 year old. ”-

As a former Social Worker, these are absolutely red flags. Whoever this child is that is making sexual noises and then calling the girls strippers and especially that he says she is choking on a private part- most likely they have been exposed to at least pornography, or worse, to adults doing sexual acts in front of them, or even worse than that. I encountered these situations as a social worker several times. The teachers and administration should know these red flags and refer the parents to Child Services. If nothing is going on, they will investigate it. The teachers and administration are “mandated reporters” by law- they are required to report anything like this to Social Services or the police.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Over the past month or so my daughter (2nd grade) has been coming home and telling me stories about things the boys say in class. The most recent story is the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Apparently, it is a regular occurrence that they make sexual moaning noises in class. DD doesn’t know why it’s inappropriate, but she feels like it is and that she should tell me when they do it.

I’ve had her tell me multiple times about boys calling the girls “strippers.”

Today, she informed me that they were talking about how “Lucy chokes on too many…” and then used a slang word I didn’t recognize. When I asked what she thought that meant she pointed to her private parts.

There is one name in particular that keeps coming up when she tells me these stories, but she is hesitant to name names because she doesn’t want her classmates to view her as negatively. I am gravely concerned that this behavior at this stage, besides reflecting inadequate control of the classroom, may also reflect the victimization of one or more of the kids involved in making these noises and pursuing these lines of discussion.

While I do not have a mandated reporting responsibility under law, I do consider it an ethical obligation. I am sharing this nformation with you preparatory to reporting the situation to the [LOCATION] police, which I will be doing this morning.

+1 to the former social worker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Over the past month or so my daughter (2nd grade) has been coming home and telling me stories about things the boys say in class. The most recent story is the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Apparently, it is a regular occurrence that they make sexual moaning noises in class. DD doesn’t know why it’s inappropriate, but she feels like it is and that she should tell me when they do it.

I’ve had her tell me multiple times about boys calling the girls “strippers.”

Today, she informed me that they were talking about how “Lucy chokes on too many…” and then used a slang word I didn’t recognize. When I asked what she thought that meant she pointed to her private parts.

There is one name in particular that keeps coming up when she tells me these stories, but she is hesitant to name names because she doesn’t want her classmates to view her as negatively. I am gravely concerned that this behavior at this stage, besides reflecting inadequate control of the classroom, may also reflect the victimization of one or more of the kids involved in making these noises and pursuing these lines of discussion.

While I do not have a mandated reporting responsibility under law, I do consider it an ethical obligation. I am sharing this nformation with you preparatory to reporting the situation to the [LOCATION] police, which I will be doing this morning.

+1 to the former social worker.

And the bold is what I'd put in the email to the teacher and principal.

Good luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

When this happened in our school, we talked to the teacher and requested a meeting with the counselor. The counselor spoke with the entire class and with small groups. It helped a little bit. The kids all one that they could request time with the counselor whenever they felt uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, The kids all KNEW that they could request time with the counselor.

[Anonymous]

"Tattle tale", not taddle. Just so your email to the principal doesn't get laughed at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d contact the principal, counselor and if I had the name of a “ring leader” then probably also CPS.

Please. CPS will laugh at you.

[Anonymous]

Is this FCPS and a school whose name starts with S?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this FCPS and a school whose name starts with S?

Yes