If your middle school child does not have a phone

[Anonymous]

My middle schooler has a phone and texts with her friends all the time. She also talks to them on the phone frequently. She does not have any apps to communicate through but it has not been an issue bc her friends don’t either.

[Anonymous]

iPad - though we recently got him a phone. I totally understand waiting, but socially it does get hard.

[Anonymous]

Well you can use an iPad and they can text on iMessage, but you may as well let them get a cell phone if you do that bc it’s full access just only at home. You can lock down an iPhone and then have the convenience of calling them which honestly is huge when they start running around with their friends.

No one in middle school uses Google hangouts or kids messenger.

Also - my middle schooler really only uses Snapchat or iMessage/text. My high schooler same - heavier on iMessage group chats. Says snap is more for flirting and not for close friends. Once a connection moves from snap to text, it’s then “serious” lol. 3 years ago Instagram was big but they don’t seem into it anymore - my 7th grader has no interest. They all love tik tok.

[Anonymous]

Just get your kid an iPhone. You can limit the apps they have access to, if social media bothers you.

[Anonymous]

My son does have a phone, but could certainly communicate with friends on his ipad if he did not. We allow texting, discord, and Whatsapp (to speak with a friend who spends summers overseas). We don't allow snapchat.

[Anonymous]

I couldn't really imagine my son not having a phone. He is in 8th, and most of his friends are kids he met for the first time in middle school through marching band. They tend to hang out at our house, since it is walking distance to school. I would have no way to text their parents to make or confirm plans, I don't really know them, since there was no elementary school connection. I guess that might worry me more if my son was spending time at their houses, but since the kids come here, or go to Starbucks or a restaurant, it doesn't concern me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids without a phone often get left out. Don’t do that to your child. We have a lot of rules around when the phone can be used but not having one makes it so much harder socially.

This

My child has not experienced this at all. No phone, no problems. She has friends and a social life with no drama. She doesn’t even ask about a phone to be honest. Her friends don’t have one either though so I’m sure that helps. They email each other to make plans on weekends and then parents text to confirm if drops offs are needed

Well this is a first. I’ve yet to see any tweens or teens use email as their main form of communication. Where on earth do you live?

FWIW, my 6th grader asks all the time to "check his email" but he's really participating in a big google chat. He uses the term "email" interchangeably with other formats.

At this point he doesn't have a phone and it seems like some of his friends do, some don't. I still coordinate most of his social activities with his friends parents. He does interact with them online (plays games together while they're on discord or google chat), but so far that hasn't led to them making plans outside of the house. I'm looking forward to that shifting (to him making his own plans and actually leaving the house).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just get your kid an iPhone. You can limit the apps they have access to, if social media bothers you.

This is terrible advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Email. But honestly they most just communicate at school and extracurriculars in person. After school they are busy with sports and homework and aren’t communicating.

Same. No phone. No problem. No drama.

[Anonymous]

My MS son only use dumbphone if occasionally he needs it, he has no interest on a smartphone yet and I want to hold it as long as possible. He use discord at home and he is socially very fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids without a phone often get left out. Don’t do that to your child. We have a lot of rules around when the phone can be used but not having one makes it so much harder socially.

This

My child has not experienced this at all. No phone, no problems. She has friends and a social life with no drama. She doesn’t even ask about a phone to be honest. Her friends don’t have one either though so I’m sure that helps. They email each other to make plans on weekends and then parents text to confirm if drops offs are needed

Well this is a first. I’ve yet to see any tweens or teens use email as their main form of communication. Where on earth do you live?

FWIW, my 6th grader asks all the time to "check his email" but he's really participating in a big google chat. He uses the term "email" interchangeably with other formats.

At this point he doesn't have a phone and it seems like some of his friends do, some don't. I still coordinate most of his social activities with his friends parents. He does interact with them online (plays games together while they're on discord or google chat), but so far that hasn't led to them making plans outside of the house. I'm looking forward to that shifting (to him making his own plans and actually leaving the house).

That sounds about right for 6th grade. 7th grade is where the big shift happened for us and having a phone became more important socially. Older tweens don’t use Google chat to communicate with each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids without a phone often get left out. Don’t do that to your child. We have a lot of rules around when the phone can be used but not having one makes it so much harder socially.

This

My child has not experienced this at all. No phone, no problems. She has friends and a social life with no drama. She doesn’t even ask about a phone to be honest. Her friends don’t have one either though so I’m sure that helps. They email each other to make plans on weekends and then parents text to confirm if drops offs are needed

Well this is a first. I’ve yet to see any tweens or teens use email as their main form of communication. Where on earth do you live?

FWIW, my 6th grader asks all the time to "check his email" but he's really participating in a big google chat. He uses the term "email" interchangeably with other formats.

At this point he doesn't have a phone and it seems like some of his friends do, some don't. I still coordinate most of his social activities with his friends parents. He does interact with them online (plays games together while they're on discord or google chat), but so far that hasn't led to them making plans outside of the house. I'm looking forward to that shifting (to him making his own plans and actually leaving the house).

That sounds about right for 6th grade. 7th grade is where the big shift happened for us and having a phone became more important socially. Older tweens don’t use Google chat to communicate with each other.

It really depends on when middle school starts for your child. If you live in a K-6 elementary district, it will be more of a mixed bag in 6th and parents still involved. If you live in a district where middle school starts in 6, most kids by after Christmas break will have a phone and it does matter socially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids without a phone often get left out. Don’t do that to your child. We have a lot of rules around when the phone can be used but not having one makes it so much harder socially.

This

My child has not experienced this at all. No phone, no problems. She has friends and a social life with no drama. She doesn’t even ask about a phone to be honest. Her friends don’t have one either though so I’m sure that helps. They email each other to make plans on weekends and then parents text to confirm if drops offs are needed

Well this is a first. I’ve yet to see any tweens or teens use email as their main form of communication. Where on earth do you live?

FWIW, my 6th grader asks all the time to "check his email" but he's really participating in a big google chat. He uses the term "email" interchangeably with other formats.

At this point he doesn't have a phone and it seems like some of his friends do, some don't. I still coordinate most of his social activities with his friends parents. He does interact with them online (plays games together while they're on discord or google chat), but so far that hasn't led to them making plans outside of the house. I'm looking forward to that shifting (to him making his own plans and actually leaving the house).

That sounds about right for 6th grade. 7th grade is where the big shift happened for us and having a phone became more important socially. Older tweens don’t use Google chat to communicate with each other.

It really depends on when middle school starts for your child. If you live in a K-6 elementary district, it will be more of a mixed bag in 6th and parents still involved. If you live in a district where middle school starts in 6, most kids by after Christmas break will have a phone and it does matter socially.

Good point. For us MS starts in 7th grade which is where the shift happened.

For those that think your kid doesn’t need a phone in MS and there are no consequences you are kidding yourself. I have one very social kid and other who is a homebody introvert. For my introverted kid, following kids on Snapchat and communicating on those apps is an important way for him to feel connected and know what’s going on at school. For my social kid it’s how they communicate and make plans.

Not getting your kid a phone doesn’t make it 1985 again. That’s like saying you aren’t going to use a computer at work and somehow think you’ll be successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids without a phone often get left out. Don’t do that to your child. We have a lot of rules around when the phone can be used but not having one makes it so much harder socially.

This

My child has not experienced this at all. No phone, no problems. She has friends and a social life with no drama. She doesn’t even ask about a phone to be honest. Her friends don’t have one either though so I’m sure that helps. They email each other to make plans on weekends and then parents text to confirm if drops offs are needed

Well this is a first. I’ve yet to see any tweens or teens use email as their main form of communication. Where on earth do you live?

FWIW, my 6th grader asks all the time to "check his email" but he's really participating in a big google chat. He uses the term "email" interchangeably with other formats.

At this point he doesn't have a phone and it seems like some of his friends do, some don't. I still coordinate most of his social activities with his friends parents. He does interact with them online (plays games together while they're on discord or google chat), but so far that hasn't led to them making plans outside of the house. I'm looking forward to that shifting (to him making his own plans and actually leaving the house).

That sounds about right for 6th grade. 7th grade is where the big shift happened for us and having a phone became more important socially. Older tweens don’t use Google chat to communicate with each other.

It really depends on when middle school starts for your child. If you live in a K-6 elementary district, it will be more of a mixed bag in 6th and parents still involved. If you live in a district where middle school starts in 6, most kids by after Christmas break will have a phone and it does matter socially.

Good point. For us MS starts in 7th grade which is where the shift happened.

For those that think your kid doesn’t need a phone in MS and there are no consequences you are kidding yourself. I have one very social kid and other who is a homebody introvert. For my introverted kid, following kids on Snapchat and communicating on those apps is an important way for him to feel connected and know what’s going on at school. For my social kid it’s how they communicate and make plans.

Not getting your kid a phone doesn’t make it 1985 again. That’s like saying you aren’t going to use a computer at work and somehow think you’ll be successful.

You are obserd. My super social kids communicate just fine without phones. They have friends and social lives. You ate just rationalizing your own fomo and guilt fir giving your kids success to a tool that has been statistically proven to be harmful. Please do purchase a bape pen too. They need it to live in the modern era.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids without a phone often get left out. Don’t do that to your child. We have a lot of rules around when the phone can be used but not having one makes it so much harder socially.

This

My child has not experienced this at all. No phone, no problems. She has friends and a social life with no drama. She doesn’t even ask about a phone to be honest. Her friends don’t have one either though so I’m sure that helps. They email each other to make plans on weekends and then parents text to confirm if drops offs are needed

Well this is a first. I’ve yet to see any tweens or teens use email as their main form of communication. Where on earth do you live?

FWIW, my 6th grader asks all the time to "check his email" but he's really participating in a big google chat. He uses the term "email" interchangeably with other formats.

At this point he doesn't have a phone and it seems like some of his friends do, some don't. I still coordinate most of his social activities with his friends parents. He does interact with them online (plays games together while they're on discord or google chat), but so far that hasn't led to them making plans outside of the house. I'm looking forward to that shifting (to him making his own plans and actually leaving the house).

That sounds about right for 6th grade. 7th grade is where the big shift happened for us and having a phone became more important socially. Older tweens don’t use Google chat to communicate with each other.

It really depends on when middle school starts for your child. If you live in a K-6 elementary district, it will be more of a mixed bag in 6th and parents still involved. If you live in a district where middle school starts in 6, most kids by after Christmas break will have a phone and it does matter socially.

Good point. For us MS starts in 7th grade which is where the shift happened.

For those that think your kid doesn’t need a phone in MS and there are no consequences you are kidding yourself. I have one very social kid and other who is a homebody introvert. For my introverted kid, following kids on Snapchat and communicating on those apps is an important way for him to feel connected and know what’s going on at school. For my social kid it’s how they communicate and make plans.

Not getting your kid a phone doesn’t make it 1985 again. That’s like saying you aren’t going to use a computer at work and somehow think you’ll be successful.

You are obserd. My super social kids communicate just fine without phones. They have friends and social lives. You ate just rationalizing your own fomo and guilt fir giving your kids success to a tool that has been statistically proven to be harmful. Please do purchase a bape pen too. They need it to live in the modern era.

Why would someone need to rationalize or feel guilty about a middle schooler having a phone in 2023? Some of you are so strange.