If your middle school child does not have a phone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids without a phone often get left out. Don’t do that to your child. We have a lot of rules around when the phone can be used but not having one makes it so much harder socially.

Dumb question but could they not just load whichever apps onto an iPad and use that to communicate? My kids aren't teens yet so just curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids without a phone often get left out. Don’t do that to your child. We have a lot of rules around when the phone can be used but not having one makes it so much harder socially.

Dumb question but could they not just load whichever apps onto an iPad and use that to communicate? My kids aren't teens yet so just curious.

Not when they are out. They go places without parents by middle school. Out to eat, mall, walks, bikes etc. they meet up with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids without a phone often get left out. Don’t do that to your child. We have a lot of rules around when the phone can be used but not having one makes it so much harder socially.

Dumb question but could they not just load whichever apps onto an iPad and use that to communicate? My kids aren't teens yet so just curious.

Not when they are out. They go places without parents by middle school. Out to eat, mall, walks, bikes etc. they meet up with friends.

Some do. Some don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids without a phone often get left out. Don’t do that to your child. We have a lot of rules around when the phone can be used but not having one makes it so much harder socially.

Dumb question but could they not just load whichever apps onto an iPad and use that to communicate? My kids aren't teens yet so just curious.

Not when they are out. They go places without parents by middle school. Out to eat, mall, walks, bikes etc. they meet up with friends.

But wouldn't they make those plans at home and then when the group is moving to do something else they just go with them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids without a phone often get left out. Don’t do that to your child. We have a lot of rules around when the phone can be used but not having one makes it so much harder socially.

Dumb question but could they not just load whichever apps onto an iPad and use that to communicate? My kids aren't teens yet so just curious.

Not when they are out. They go places without parents by middle school. Out to eat, mall, walks, bikes etc. they meet up with friends.

Some do. Some don’t.

And then they turn into the high schooler (see other post) who has no one to sit with at lunch.
Not saying that is what happened but there are posts on here every other day about kids who struggle socially. Geez people, I wonder why---you (the parent) created the pariah when you took the hardline on something (phones)
that you could allow but control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids without a phone often get left out. Don’t do that to your child. We have a lot of rules around when the phone can be used but not having one makes it so much harder socially.

Dumb question but could they not just load whichever apps onto an iPad and use that to communicate? My kids aren't teens yet so just curious.

Yes, my kid has iMessage with an email address + discord on her iPad, so she gets all communications with friends. What she doesn’t get is portability. I do a lot of carpool and really dislike how kids take the phone out as soon as they get in the car and zone out… This carpool started when they didn’t have phones and they used to talk in the car! So anyway, my kid has a fully loaded iPad + gizmo watch for communicating with me and seems to work for us so far.

[Anonymous]

Plans shift as they are on the way to plans and lots of stuff happens after school when they have not come home first. Especially if you live in a walkable area. My kid walks to and from school and all his friends and things to do are walkable or at furthest he or the friend can bike so he’s out and about a lot and communicating with friends on the move. Probably a more car-based lifestyle is different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids without a phone often get left out. Don’t do that to your child. We have a lot of rules around when the phone can be used but not having one makes it so much harder socially.

Dumb question but could they not just load whichever apps onto an iPad and use that to communicate? My kids aren't teens yet so just curious.

Not when they are out. They go places without parents by middle school. Out to eat, mall, walks, bikes etc. they meet up with friends.

Some do. Some don’t.

This a lot are staying home by choice. It is depressing to see.

[Anonymous]

The other things kids do with a phone on the move is they meet other kids when you are not around and they are not home and add their number as a contact. At a sport, an activity, school. Anywhere really.

It’s a tough issue because the phone genuinely facilitates the in-person interactions they need to have. But it can also be terrible in many ways as people have noted. It’s a dilemma. We went the route of providing one in middle school and the phone is very locked down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids without a phone often get left out. Don’t do that to your child. We have a lot of rules around when the phone can be used but not having one makes it so much harder socially.

Dumb question but could they not just load whichever apps onto an iPad and use that to communicate? My kids aren't teens yet so just curious.

Not when they are out. They go places without parents by middle school. Out to eat, mall, walks, bikes etc. they meet up with friends.

But wouldn't they make those plans at home and then when the group is moving to do something else they just go with them?

And how do they let the parents know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids without a phone often get left out. Don’t do that to your child. We have a lot of rules around when the phone can be used but not having one makes it so much harder socially.

Dumb question but could they not just load whichever apps onto an iPad and use that to communicate? My kids aren't teens yet so just curious.

Not when they are out. They go places without parents by middle school. Out to eat, mall, walks, bikes etc. they meet up with friends.

Some do. Some don’t.

I think if you’ve given your kid all the opportunity to make friends and be independent and they are not doing these things then so be it and that’s what home is for. A supportive environment and the rock through all these years. If you’re keeping your kid sheltered or not allowing the independence, it’s really very problematic. As rough as middle school can be, these are the years when they figure out a lot about interacting with peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids without a phone often get left out. Don’t do that to your child. We have a lot of rules around when the phone can be used but not having one makes it so much harder socially.

Dumb question but could they not just load whichever apps onto an iPad and use that to communicate? My kids aren't teens yet so just curious.

Not when they are out. They go places without parents by middle school. Out to eat, mall, walks, bikes etc. they meet up with friends.

But wouldn't they make those plans at home and then when the group is moving to do something else they just go with them?

And how do they let the parents know?

Good point.

There is a lot of meeting up for lunch and then a text of can I bring friend over or can I go to so-and-so’s house. If he wants to bring kids back to my house I ask how many and usually say fine and until this time.

You want to know where they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids without a phone often get left out. Don’t do that to your child. We have a lot of rules around when the phone can be used but not having one makes it so much harder socially.

Dumb question but could they not just load whichever apps onto an iPad and use that to communicate? My kids aren't teens yet so just curious.

Not when they are out. They go places without parents by middle school. Out to eat, mall, walks, bikes etc. they meet up with friends.

But wouldn't they make those plans at home and then when the group is moving to do something else they just go with them?

Sure, but then you become the parent who never knows where your kid is. At some point, it’s your turn to pick them up and they have to text you using their friends phone to tell you to go to Starbucks instead of Panera as originally planned. It gets old, always borrowing a friends phone for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Plans shift as they are on the way to plans and lots of stuff happens after school when they have not come home first. Especially if you live in a walkable area. My kid walks to and from school and all his friends and things to do are walkable or at furthest he or the friend can bike so he’s out and about a lot and communicating with friends on the move. Probably a more car-based lifestyle is different.

PP again and also very true. We are in Vienna. It’s common now for them not to take the bus home and walk around with friends when the weather is nice. It’s okay with us and we encourage it but I expect a text to let me know, even if I’m at work. It’s a very walkable area. This started happening in middle school.

[Anonymous]

iMessage from laptop at home
Home phone