Can attachment to a dog become a disorder?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish county health departments would send officers to grocery stores and fine them for letting people bring their dogs in.

+1000000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They probably both have anxiety and are locked in an unhealthy companionship. Very sad to see.

Sure sad

Nothing in the OPs post, once you strip it of OP's bias, speakers of anxiety. I know lots of people who are really obsessed about different things (sports, entertainment, Disney, NASCAR, etc.) I never question their mental fitness. Some people deep dive into certain things. Makes life interesting.

Yes but do those obsessions lead them to being unable to grocery shopping or to the doctor?

Op never said this.

And grocery shopping? Who needs to enter a store anymore?

She won't go anywhere without the dog. Does your doctor or dentist allow dogs?

People are twisting themselves in knots here to go "but I love doggies". This is clearly a picture of someone with a severe anxiety issue.

We've never left our dog home alone. No need.

[Anonymous]

OP, I see some level of concern that you can express here. In my mind, the conversation goes something like this:

Claire, you are so lucky to have Spot. He's an awesome dog and I see that he brings you so much happiness! He's a super walking companion and a wonderful couch snuggler.

I am concerned that you have stopped leaving your house without him, but maybe I'm missing something. Can you really get all of your food delivered to the house and not go to the grocery store at all? What about shopping for clothes? But my biggest concern is are you able to get any medical care in person if you can't leave Spot alone? Dr? Dentist? OBGYN? Mammogram? Maybe you could practice leaving him for a short time by coming out to dinner with at Nice Dog Free Restaurant on Saturday so you know he can handle your absence?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I see some level of concern that you can express here. In my mind, the conversation goes something like this:

Claire, you are so lucky to have Spot. He's an awesome dog and I see that he brings you so much happiness! He's a super walking companion and a wonderful couch snuggler.

I am concerned that you have stopped leaving your house without him, but maybe I'm missing something. Can you really get all of your food delivered to the house and not go to the grocery store at all? What about shopping for clothes? But my biggest concern is are you able to get any medical care in person if you can't leave Spot alone? Dr? Dentist? OBGYN? Mammogram? Maybe you could practice leaving him for a short time by coming out to dinner with at Nice Dog Free Restaurant on Saturday so you know he can handle your absence?

Or, Hi Claire,

I'd be happy to watch Spot if you'd like to go out, to the doctor, etc. or I'd love to see you. XXX has a great outdoor space that we can take Spot to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anything can be a disorder. You haven’t said anything that suggests that this is, though.
Many people get nonjudgmental, unconditional affection from their pets. They probably don’t get it from the people in their lives, at least not consistently.

You “would never let a dog take the place of your family “ — yet you point out that the friend that you’re judging lives alone. So, not the same situation at all.
I’m curious. You seem genuinely concerned about your friend — but also judgemental. We’re you equally concerned and available to your friend when she was isolated and living alone? If not, then your concern now seems misplaced and possibly somewhat self-serving. Yes, your friend prioritizes her dog over “activities with people”, but her friends likely prioritized their families and their own needs over her — when she was isolated.

👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect your friend has untreated anxiety and is using the dog to cover it. Not being able to leave your dog to be able to go to the store is really unhealthy.

OP here.

This is the part that worries me. When I say this person can't leave their dog, I mean literally won't leave the dog alone for more than 15 minutes alone. They said they can't go grocery shopping or go places where the dog isn't allowed. They refuse to leave the dog alone for even 1 hour for fear the dog will be anxious.

I've had pets my whole life and know lots of people with pets and have never experienced anything like this.

It does seem like untreated anxiety and it seems to be getting worse.

I have been wanting to say something but am actually worried that bringing it up will make this person more anxious and withdrawn.

I have a dog with anxiety. He doesn’t like to be alone. We started leaving him alone 15 minutes at a time, then 30. And so on. He got used to it. It takes an investment in time. All dog stuff does. Maybe your friend doesn’t know that, or doesn’t want to go through it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anything can be a disorder. You haven’t said anything that suggests that this is, though.
Many people get nonjudgmental, unconditional affection from their pets. They probably don’t get it from the people in their lives, at least not consistently.

You “would never let a dog take the place of your family “ — yet you point out that the friend that you’re judging lives alone. So, not the same situation at all.
I’m curious. You seem genuinely concerned about your friend — but also judgemental. We’re you equally concerned and available to your friend when she was isolated and living alone? If not, then your concern now seems misplaced and possibly somewhat self-serving. Yes, your friend prioritizes her dog over “activities with people”, but her friends likely prioritized their families and their own needs over her — when she was isolated.

👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽

Everyone can make a choice about how to take care of their needs. In this case, it sounds like this person is choosing their pet over human interactions where their pet isn't invited.

Honestly, I love my dog but don't take him everywhere as some people are anxious around dogs or allergic to dogs or just prefer not to be around dogs all the time. And I would never bring my dog to someone's house unless they explicitly asked me to do so (and even then, sometimes like hanging out with worrying what my dog is getting into).

And let me be clear: I love my dog and absolutely consider him a family member. But just as I don't want to be around my kids all the time, sometimes I want a breather from my dog.

Boundaries are healthy for everyone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect your friend has untreated anxiety and is using the dog to cover it. Not being able to leave your dog to be able to go to the store is really unhealthy.

OP here.

This is the part that worries me. When I say this person can't leave their dog, I mean literally won't leave the dog alone for more than 15 minutes alone. They said they can't go grocery shopping or go places where the dog isn't allowed. They refuse to leave the dog alone for even 1 hour for fear the dog will be anxious.

I've had pets my whole life and know lots of people with pets and have never experienced anything like this.

It does seem like untreated anxiety and it seems to be getting worse.

I have been wanting to say something but am actually worried that bringing it up will make this person more anxious and withdrawn.

It's not anxiety. Some dogs are velcro dogs by nature. If they don't have a reason to leave the dog every day like work, it's just their routine and the only way to fix it would be to regularly leave the dog. Why do you care? I don't want my dog upset. Dog is the sweetest and I hate dogs. So, what I should drug my dog to go out where? I should risk covid and other illnesses that have a serious impact on me to grab something I can order online? I should dine in a restaurant to make you happy? It's not just about the dog, but my health. You may choose to neglect your dog and not care, but some consider their dog a part of the family.

It's not possible to never leave your house. If you're making dinner and discover the chicken unexpectedly went bad, you really can't go out to the store? Doctor's appointments? Dentist? Emergencies? You can't take your dog to a cleaning, of pap smear, or to the emergencies room. You keep saying you're scared of COVID, which, okay, but 15 minutes isn't enough time to even get your flu or COVID shot

OP is saying her friend can't leave the house for more than 15 minutes without the dog. You can't function as a human being like that.

Dinner- make something else or get carry out. I wouldn't run to the store regardless of the dog for one little thing. I don't go to the doctor much and do most things virtually. I cannot risk illness. I haven't been to the dentist not because of the dog but covid. You do realize I'm married and dog stays with the other spouse.

Covid and flu shots don't stop covid, colds and flu.

I function just fine.

Based on your posts, this is debatable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish county health departments would send officers to grocery stores and fine them for letting people bring their dogs in.

+1000000

+ a bajillion.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No

YES.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They probably both have anxiety and are locked in an unhealthy companionship. Very sad to see.

And extreme loneliness? You can have your pet cuddle up any time you want and you don’t have to face person to person challenges. It’s much easier to control a pet than another human being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life priorities are always evolving. I traveled a lot in my youth but now I'm over that. My dog brings me joy every single day. I would much rather take my dog on a hike through the park than travel or go to a crowded bar. Just because your priorities no longer align with your friend doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your friend. If you were living all alone with no family and you had a dog giving you unconditional love, you may act the same way.

You just described me (a DP) and I love you for it.

I'm a single woman in my 40s who spends way too much time with my dog and I know people judge me for it. The people who judge me all of robust family lives full of multiple kids and all I can feel toward them is a giant f**k you for begrudging me something that brings me joy and fulfillment. Would it have been nice to have a life where I came home every night to a house full of kids and a husband? Sure, but my life didn't work out that way. Instead of being a lonely, bitter misanthrope, I have found happiness with my dog.

My response to you got deleted but I really hope you saw it!

[Anonymous]

I have plenty of issues but my desire to spend most of my time home with my dog or walking my dog or taking my dog to the beach or just a ride is because at 52 I’ve seen enough to know that every person I meet is a potential of a spectrum from disappointment to betrayal whereas my dog is a safe and loving companion whose presence makes me feel much healthier - my BP goes down, my heart rate, my anxiety and I just feel chilled and content hanging with my dog. All the research indicates that dogs make us healthier, so why not prioritize our dogs?

[Anonymous]

It’s a sign of untreated anxiety (the human, not the dog).