Received a terrible, stressful gift from MIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I haven’t received my first question yet but if you look at their example questions, they don’t seem like quite the right fit for a new mom or a woman in my age group (30s)


https://welcome.storyworth.com/questions

One of them is “how did you decide how many children to have?”

Not only is this very personal, DD is my first. She may be an only, she many not be. At this stage in my life, IDK yet.

You can change the question.

[Anonymous]

Just simply don’t do it. If she asks, tell you you don’t have time. If she presses, tell her you’ll be forwarding the prompts to DH so he can complete them. If she doesn’t give up then, tell her you don’t want the pressure of it or to reveal personal thoughts. I mean, at some point, you can just be honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - this might not be your cup of tea, but surely you can understand why someone might think this is a neat idea for a parent.

What is your true gripe with your MIL? Your subject line is too dramatic for there not to be something else going on.

+1

-1. I can’t think of a worse present from a MIL to a DIL with a newborn than a weekly chore that also asks for personal thoughts and information, which will be delivered to MIL’s inbox. I honestly can’t think of a more terrible gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We got Storyworth for our retired parents--I think that's more the target demographic!

I think you have lots of options, including telling MIL that it's not for you--you'll "have lots of time to share those stories with your daughter in person when time is in not in such short supply."

Maybe you could ask your MIL if she would be kind enough to do the entries about HER life, so her grandchild will be able to read the stories?

This!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I haven’t received my first question yet but if you look at their example questions, they don’t seem like quite the right fit for a new mom or a woman in my age group (30s)


https://welcome.storyworth.com/questions

One of them is “how did you decide how many children to have?”

Not only is this very personal, DD is my first. She may be an only, she many not be. At this stage in my life, IDK yet.

You can change the question.

I think it’s more of a grandparent gift, but she was trying to be thoughtful. No ill intent. Stop being such a brat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - this might not be your cup of tea, but surely you can understand why someone might think this is a neat idea for a parent.

What is your true gripe with your MIL? Your subject line is too dramatic for there not to be something else going on.

+1

-1. I can’t think of a worse present from a MIL to a DIL with a newborn than a weekly chore that also asks for personal thoughts and information, which will be delivered to MIL’s inbox. I honestly can’t think of a more terrible gift.

I completely agree with you, and am baffled by the people on team MIL. They seem like annoying MILs themselves and terrible gift givers to boot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We got Storyworth for our retired parents--I think that's more the target demographic!

I think you have lots of options, including telling MIL that it's not for you--you'll "have lots of time to share those stories with your daughter in person when time is in not in such short supply."

Maybe you could ask your MIL if she would be kind enough to do the entries about HER life, so her grandchild will be able to read the stories?

This!!!!!

Agree! Could you or your husband just say that it was a sweet idea but doesn't fit into the schedule, but you'd really love to hear the stories from MIL.

I gave storyworth to a parent after confirming ahead of time that they liked the idea. Unfortunately they got sick and were unable to keep up with it. The company was very accommodating, first switching from once a week to once a month and then returning all my money when my parent died.

I think they'd be happy to either switch the subscription target, reduce the frequency of prompts. The sender can easily customize the questions, too, so it could end up being fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - this might not be your cup of tea, but surely you can understand why someone might think this is a neat idea for a parent.

What is your true gripe with your MIL? Your subject line is too dramatic for there not to be something else going on.

+1

-1. I can’t think of a worse present from a MIL to a DIL with a newborn than a weekly chore that also asks for personal thoughts and information, which will be delivered to MIL’s inbox. I honestly can’t think of a more terrible gift.

NP. +1. This may not be OP's cup of tea, but it was a thoughtful gift and a lot better than the ugly clothing MIL got me. MIL probably thought she was helping DIL take a few minutes to reflect on herself, only it didn't occur to her that DIL doesn't have those few minutes. Agree with the "stop being a brat" poster.

[Anonymous]

That is a terrible gift! So sorry. I would do nothing. Just don’t participate.

[Anonymous]

This is not an objectively terrible gift. IT is simply a gift you don't like. Not different from an ugly sweater, a piece of art that you don't like, or tickets to an event you have no desire to attend.

(In many ways it is actually better than those things because it is thoughtful, and tailored to your time of life.)

You do what you would do for any other gift- Graciously thank the giver and then don't use it. If you wanted to be very honest, you could tell her that it is a great idea but not something you are up for doing and see if she can get a refund.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - this might not be your cup of tea, but surely you can understand why someone might think this is a neat idea for a parent.

What is your true gripe with your MIL? Your subject line is too dramatic for there not to be something else going on.

+1

-1. I can’t think of a worse present from a MIL to a DIL with a newborn than a weekly chore that also asks for personal thoughts and information, which will be delivered to MIL’s inbox. I honestly can’t think of a more terrible gift.

I agree but in my experience with my MIL and my own mom they are so far removed from having small kids and the young mother stage of life they are basically living on another planet ( at least mine are). I could see my MIL giving this to me and completely not ever thinking for a second it’s a horrible time consuming gift because her frame of refrence is she would have all the time in the world to quietly sit and fill it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - this might not be your cup of tea, but surely you can understand why someone might think this is a neat idea for a parent.

What is your true gripe with your MIL? Your subject line is too dramatic for there not to be something else going on.

+1

-1. I can’t think of a worse present from a MIL to a DIL with a newborn than a weekly chore that also asks for personal thoughts and information, which will be delivered to MIL’s inbox. I honestly can’t think of a more terrible gift.

NP. +1. This may not be OP's cup of tea, but it was a thoughtful gift and a lot better than the ugly clothing MIL got me. MIL probably thought she was helping DIL take a few minutes to reflect on herself, only it didn't occur to her that DIL doesn't have those few minutes. Agree with the "stop being a brat" poster.

How far removed are you from the newborn years? My scant “free time” during those days was not spent “reflecting on myself,” especially reflecting in the form of thoughts and innermost feelings that would literally be emailed to my MIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - this might not be your cup of tea, but surely you can understand why someone might think this is a neat idea for a parent.

What is your true gripe with your MIL? Your subject line is too dramatic for there not to be something else going on.

+1

-1. I can’t think of a worse present from a MIL to a DIL with a newborn than a weekly chore that also asks for personal thoughts and information, which will be delivered to MIL’s inbox. I honestly can’t think of a more terrible gift.

NP. +1. This may not be OP's cup of tea, but it was a thoughtful gift and a lot better than the ugly clothing MIL got me. MIL probably thought she was helping DIL take a few minutes to reflect on herself, only it didn't occur to her that DIL doesn't have those few minutes. Agree with the "stop being a brat" poster.

How far removed are you from the newborn years? My scant “free time” during those days was not spent “reflecting on myself,” especially reflecting in the form of thoughts and innermost feelings that would literally be emailed to my MIL.

Yeah. Everyone knows newborns are a lot of work. Everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - this might not be your cup of tea, but surely you can understand why someone might think this is a neat idea for a parent.

What is your true gripe with your MIL? Your subject line is too dramatic for there not to be something else going on.

+1

-1. I can’t think of a worse present from a MIL to a DIL with a newborn than a weekly chore that also asks for personal thoughts and information, which will be delivered to MIL’s inbox. I honestly can’t think of a more terrible gift.

I agree but in my experience with my MIL and my own mom they are so far removed from having small kids and the young mother stage of life they are basically living on another planet ( at least mine are). I could see my MIL giving this to me and completely not ever thinking for a second it’s a horrible time consuming gift because her frame of refrence is she would have all the time in the world to quietly sit and fill it out.

Agree - I mean, even by my second newborn I couldn’t remember what the heck I spent so much time on tending to the first. Haha

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you tell her that it’s just too much on your plate right I now, but you’d be honored if she would fill it out as a Grandma book for the new baby to have.