Received a terrible, stressful gift from MIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh no! This is a terrible gift.

I would be tempted to use chatGPT to write essays on random and weird prompts. Stuff like "What are the commonalities between King Charles and Lorena Bobbit's husband?"

I am sure DCUM can come up with more weird prompts.

Omg, chatGPT would nail this! Lololol!

[Anonymous]

Ask DCUM to do it for you, then copy/paste the best response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sympathize OP. When I was a new mom with a very stressful job, people kept giving me blank books in which I could write my “reflections on motherhood.” Not only did the mere thought of having an additional responsibility make me feel even more tired, I was in a line of work where people are strongly advised against keeping journals, so I had an instinctive negative reaction. No way in h*ll would I have shared my thoughts with some random internet company.

Just don’t do it. I like the idea of telling your MIL that the questions seem more suited to her stage of life and asking her to do it. And if she doesn’t want to do it, why in the heck should you?

Old woman here but when I was given similar journals as new mom, I kept them. I did find and use them some years later. Not always for "reflections on motherhood." In one I did jot down things based on the prompts because I wanted my DC to know about a few traditions, like how my own family celebrated holidays when I was a kid, etc. In another I sometimes jotted down little things my DC said and did as a toddler and elementary aged kid. I'm glad I did. Neither is some treasure bursting with words but they do help me recall things and someday maybe my DC will want them.

It's not all such a big, pressured deal as it seems when one is a new parent. I know OP can't just lay aside this electronic "subscription" type of gift like I could lay aside a journal, but OP also just doesn't have to use it, either.

I think the "some years later" is the operative thing here. I'm the pp and I did use one of the journals to write down funny things my kid said when he was older (I had a really funny kid), before I switched to doing it on my phone. But that was obviously when the kid was old enough to be forming sentences, so "some years later."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask DCUM to do it for you, then copy/paste the best response.

This is actually brilliant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask DCUM to do it for you, then copy/paste the best response.

This is actually brilliant.

+1000

[Anonymous]

OP - this might not be your cup of tea, but surely you can understand why someone might think this is a neat idea for a parent.

What is your true gripe with your MIL? Your subject line is too dramatic for there not to be something else going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - this might not be your cup of tea, but surely you can understand why someone might think this is a neat idea for a parent.

What is your true gripe with your MIL? Your subject line is too dramatic for there not to be something else going on.

+1

[Anonymous]

Storyworth is aimed at older folks. There's a baby book version where they send you texts back based on your baby's age and you can fill in tidbits about their life. You can send in favorite photos about their year too. It's supposed to be an easy baby book that you can do in tiny bits throughout the year.

[Anonymous]

Op, that is a bad present. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Some ideas:

1. Can you tell your mother in law that you'd like to wait to do this when you have more children/more time?

2. If you don't like to write, can you use voice to text to just record some of your thoughts?

3. If you really really don't want to do it, tell MIL, you love the idea of it but really don't have the time and would love for her to do it as a keepsake for your child?

[Anonymous]

This gift is so bad it borders on the absurd. Asking DIL to send weekly personal stories to MIL while caring for a newborn.

You don’t have to do it and you don’t have to justify yourself. I like other suggestions people had of asking MiL if she can write things down so thr next generation can know more about her in the future.

[Anonymous]

I gifted this to my retire mom, and she hated the questions I came up with and just edited it with her own that she cared to write about. Maybe you can do the same — adjust to what you may want to capture. Maybe a summary of each month of baby’s first year, silly events that happen, how much baby was up at night, how you’re navigating being a new mom. Could be therapeutic for yourself, too to put life in perspective.

[Anonymous]

Yeah I would not enjoy this gift at all. I do like writing when I'm inspired to so, whether it's responding to a funny text or writing a nice sentiment to someone who I'm thankful for.

The issues with are at least four-fold -- (1) it is set up as homework, (2) it's assigned to a new mom, (3) it has an overwhelming scope -- EVERY WEEK FOR A YEAR -- and (4) involves sharing whatever is written with an in-law.

I understand why others are saying it's not a big deal and OP is free to decide whether and how to do it, but it can feel like real pressure when you don't want to disappoint someone.

Just as an example, my spouse and I take turns writing each year in a hardback journal about our life together as a family. It's a lovely discipline, and think it has been worthwhile, but I admit that when my turn comes around every other year, I'm not exactly excited about it.

So the idea of being having to do something like this every week sounds crazy. OP, I would try to shut off the carbon copy to your MIL and if that doesn't work, tell your husband he has to either ghost-write it for you or handle the task of explaining to you MIL why it's not going to work for you

[Anonymous]

This is when you learn to disappoint MIL. Tell her it’s not your thing.

I would never in my life do this, so I’m totally with you!!!

[Anonymous]

Lord what is with people forcing journaling, gratitude notes, digital stories of life for next gen. Dcum example: OP is a stressed, exhausted single mom trying to make it thru holidays, afford that one special gift for child, and seeking comfort and support here. Have you tried a gratitude journal? Stop the madness you Holly Hobby, knitting mittens, LL Bean wearing Vermont dweller.