Just went back to work after SAH. Crushingly tired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids?

Kindergarten. I have one kid, a dog and a husband and am tired! I can't imagine some of the families who have 3 kids, 2 dogs, a cat, and a lizard. Maybe part of it is my introversion. I need to be alone!

DP.. get rid of the dog if you are that tired. And get your DH to do more.

No! Animal lover here. Please don't get rid of the dog I have two dogs and three kids and work FT. My dogs bring me so much joy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is the reason I do not work. My kids are in college and I am at home. I hated working. Hated, hated, hated getting up in the morning. Heck, even in college I never took morning classes. I wanted to work because I thought working would be glamorous, fulfilling, life changing and interesting. Instead, it is like slow death. Each day you go to office to live your life under someone else's thumb. My DH works because he finds fulfillment at work. I have no issues. Biologically, societally, emotionally, physically, financially, I am ok not working.

As opposed to living off someone else's paycheck for your whole life.

No, no. Not someone else. Just my husband. His paycheck is our paycheck. I do unpaid work like making kids, raising them, taking care of most details of our personal life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids?

Kindergarten. I have one kid, a dog and a husband and am tired! I can't imagine some of the families who have 3 kids, 2 dogs, a cat, and a lizard. Maybe part of it is my introversion. I need to be alone!

DP.. get rid of the dog if you are that tired. And get your DH to do more.

No! Animal lover here. Please don't get rid of the dog I have two dogs and three kids and work FT. My dogs bring me so much joy.

Get rid of the dog if it is a pitbull.

Seriously though pets are too much work and most people do a piss poor job of keeping a clean house with dogs. Pet hair and dander on every surface and that smell. Yuk!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try liquid B-12 vitamins. It gives you an instant lift that lasts for hours.

B-12, iron, D3 and magnesium. Also, K2 MK7 and ATP.

Get your blood test done and make sure that your thyroid levels are ok. Sorry. Crushingly tired sounds very scary. I hope you don't get sick or end up with an auto-immune issue. Your body is depleted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids?

Kindergarten. I have one kid, a dog and a husband and am tired! I can't imagine some of the families who have 3 kids, 2 dogs, a cat, and a lizard. Maybe part of it is my introversion. I need to be alone!

My job is very stressful and even with an only kid I am always exhausted, because I can‘t turn off my mind. I just go to bed around 8pm and I am sleep by 9pm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is the reason I do not work. My kids are in college and I am at home. I hated working. Hated, hated, hated getting up in the morning. Heck, even in college I never took morning classes. I wanted to work because I thought working would be glamorous, fulfilling, life changing and interesting. Instead, it is like slow death. Each day you go to office to live your life under someone else's thumb. My DH works because he finds fulfillment at work. I have no issues. Biologically, societally, emotionally, physically, financially, I am ok not working.

As opposed to living off someone else's paycheck for your whole life.

No, no. Not someone else. Just my husband. His paycheck is our paycheck. I do unpaid work like making kids, raising them, taking care of most details of our personal life.

I think you're smart, PP. If my DH made more money I wouldn't work, either. As it is, I work and also take care of almost everything around the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When does the exhaustion fade to normal levels of tiredness?

I always worked (save fir mat leaves) my kids are 3 and 6. The obly thing that saves me is sleeping 9:30-7 every weekday.

Your kids are 3 and 6 and you can sleep 9:30-7 every weekday!?!?! My kids are the same age and that sounds like special weekend sleep, and only if I go sleep in the basement where the kids won’t wake me. 3yo is in a particularly rough patch with needing to be tucked back in 5000 times a night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is the reason I do not work. My kids are in college and I am at home. I hated working. Hated, hated, hated getting up in the morning. Heck, even in college I never took morning classes. I wanted to work because I thought working would be glamorous, fulfilling, life changing and interesting. Instead, it is like slow death. Each day you go to office to live your life under someone else's thumb. My DH works because he finds fulfillment at work. I have no issues. Biologically, societally, emotionally, physically, financially, I am ok not working.

This post is kind of jaw dropping to me.

She’s old so housing was cheap, lots of boomer moms never had to work.

Not a boomer. Just a regular Gen-Xer. But yes, bought a lovely spacious SFH with a huge yard that we could afford on one salary. This was around 26 years ago and at the bottom of the housing market. Interest rates were very high though - around 7%. Of course, we refinanced. Wonderful neighborhood, very convenient etc. We have meh public schools and a 1 hr commute for DH.

So, y'all are working for an expensive house? Like all your life you sit in a small cubicle to pay mortgage for a big house that neither you nor your kids spend much time in. That sounds dumb.

NP- what's the alternative? You do realize that apartments aren't cheaper than mortgages, right? ALL housing is expensive. Sure my family of 5 could squish into a 2 bedroom apartment so I could stay at home, but no thanks.

I have always loved working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When does the exhaustion fade to normal levels of tiredness?

I always worked (save fir mat leaves) my kids are 3 and 6. The obly thing that saves me is sleeping 9:30-7 every weekday.

Your kids are 3 and 6 and you can sleep 9:30-7 every weekday!?!?! My kids are the same age and that sounds like special weekend sleep, and only if I go sleep in the basement where the kids won’t wake me. 3yo is in a particularly rough patch with needing to be tucked back in 5000 times a night.

NP mine are 1, 4, and 6 and they sleep until 7:15 every day. It still doesn't feel like enough, but no way could I go to sleep at 9:30pm. I would not go back in to retuck a kid in. We have Hatch alarm clocks so the kids know when they can leave their beds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is the reason I do not work. My kids are in college and I am at home. I hated working. Hated, hated, hated getting up in the morning. Heck, even in college I never took morning classes. I wanted to work because I thought working would be glamorous, fulfilling, life changing and interesting. Instead, it is like slow death. Each day you go to office to live your life under someone else's thumb. My DH works because he finds fulfillment at work. I have no issues. Biologically, societally, emotionally, physically, financially, I am ok not working.

This post is kind of jaw dropping to me.

To me too.

Me too. I feel sorry for that poster. To have never found a career that might actually satisfy a lot of what they complain about. I work in healthcare and find it enormously satisfying. Hard, physical, emotional work - but very satisfying. I love what I do and am interested and ready just about every day I go in to work. The 'glamorous' part is funny - what does that even mean to the person?

You are so correct. I found no career more satisfying than being with my kids. What work I found reasonably satisfying, paid very little. What paid a lot, was very boring. "Glamorous part"? Have you seen the movie "Life Size"? Where Tyra Banks plays a Barbie doll that comes to life and goes to work. All dressed up and tapping away gibberish on the typewriter? I romanticized working as a girl. I wanted to have responsibilities, get things accomplished, meet deadlines, go to happy hours with coworkers etc. The reality of work was that it was boring, repetitive, uninspired. It did not matter that I was super efficient and could do my work in 2 hours. The employers expected that I spent full 8 hours in that cubicle. And I could not take naps or take a walk or read a book during the day. Yikes. The most productive time of the day and you are stuck behind a desk, not being able to do what you wanted. There is a reason that people are now not willing to go back to in-person work. WFH was beautiful for many.
BTW, not one single person I know will continue to work if they win the lottery. So working really sucks for most people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is the reason I do not work. My kids are in college and I am at home. I hated working. Hated, hated, hated getting up in the morning. Heck, even in college I never took morning classes. I wanted to work because I thought working would be glamorous, fulfilling, life changing and interesting. Instead, it is like slow death. Each day you go to office to live your life under someone else's thumb. My DH works because he finds fulfillment at work. I have no issues. Biologically, societally, emotionally, physically, financially, I am ok not working.

I guess you're very fortunate that not everyone feels the way you do. Otherwise, no one would work.

You missed the part where PP doesn't need to work for money. It's not just about the feeling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is the reason I do not work. My kids are in college and I am at home. I hated working. Hated, hated, hated getting up in the morning. Heck, even in college I never took morning classes. I wanted to work because I thought working would be glamorous, fulfilling, life changing and interesting. Instead, it is like slow death. Each day you go to office to live your life under someone else's thumb. My DH works because he finds fulfillment at work. I have no issues. Biologically, societally, emotionally, physically, financially, I am ok not working.

This post is kind of jaw dropping to me.

She’s old so housing was cheap, lots of boomer moms never had to work.

Not a boomer. Just a regular Gen-Xer. But yes, bought a lovely spacious SFH with a huge yard that we could afford on one salary. This was around 26 years ago and at the bottom of the housing market. Interest rates were very high though - around 7%. Of course, we refinanced. Wonderful neighborhood, very convenient etc. We have meh public schools and a 1 hr commute for DH.

So, y'all are working for an expensive house? Like all your life you sit in a small cubicle to pay mortgage for a big house that neither you nor your kids spend much time in. That sounds dumb.

NP- what's the alternative? You do realize that apartments aren't cheaper than mortgages, right? ALL housing is expensive. Sure my family of 5 could squish into a 2 bedroom apartment so I could stay at home, but no thanks.

I have always loved working.

I do not think that all housing is expensive in DMV. I live in a 3000 sq ft SFH with enormous yard. Even now, it is not more than 600K. Obviously, we bought it for 1/2 that price two decades ago. Zillow rent estimate is 2K.

Housing is expensive because most working parents want the house close to at least one parent's work so that transportation for kids to school and daycare is easier. Also, most parents also believe that buying a house in a good school pyramid will mean that their kids education is taken care of. The first is a function of both parents working. The second is a delusion. Both cost a lot of money that now you have to earn.

And 3 kids? That is really hard.

[Anonymous]

Only in DMV 100K is considered poverty level HHI. LOL

[Anonymous]

DP. Lady, I’m happy you enjoy being a SAHM and find it so fulfilling. That’s what life is about right - trying to enjoy what you do for a living (and I definitely count SAHM as a job - it’s just not paid).

But your comments are super smug. “Slow death”? “Dumb”?

How is that productive or kind? It’s not. C’mon, be better than this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is the reason I do not work. My kids are in college and I am at home. I hated working. Hated, hated, hated getting up in the morning. Heck, even in college I never took morning classes. I wanted to work because I thought working would be glamorous, fulfilling, life changing and interesting. Instead, it is like slow death. Each day you go to office to live your life under someone else's thumb. My DH works because he finds fulfillment at work. I have no issues. Biologically, societally, emotionally, physically, financially, I am ok not working.

As opposed to living off someone else's paycheck for your whole life.

No, no. Not someone else. Just my husband. His paycheck is our paycheck. I do unpaid work like making kids, raising them, taking care of most details of our personal life.

Let’s be clear that your contribution does not match your husband’s. You flat out admitted that “work” was too much for you. I sincerely doubt that you are an amazing SAHM. You probably use hubby’s money to buy services that leave you even more time to freeload. Sure, this situation works for you, but let’s not pretend that you’ve made some elevated choice about opting out of society to raise a better family. Instead, you’ve found a gravy train and you’re holding on tight. Perhaps, your ride will get bumpy at some point. You need to find a bit of humility.