Don't want to attend funerals

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus people are so friggin self centered these days. And overly WORK focused. You all claim to be so “community” and “equity” and won’t even attend your own family members funerals because you might miss work? I doubt very much that any of you will be wishing you’d spent more time at work at the end of your lives.

Totally agree.

NP. Do you not get that not everyone gets tons of leave? If you have to choose between attending Great Aunt Hilda’s funeral and being able to take off for your niece’s wedding, go to the wedding. Life is for the living. Light a candle in remembrance of Hilda and send a card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus people are so friggin self centered these days. And overly WORK focused. You all claim to be so “community” and “equity” and won’t even attend your own family members funerals because you might miss work? I doubt very much that any of you will be wishing you’d spent more time at work at the end of your lives.

They will not be wishing that they spent more time at random relatives funerals either. No reasonable person would expect anyone to travel for an extended relatives funeral.

People have work obligations, kid obligations, and financial obligations. People need to use most of their PTO for their own family for illnesses or maybe just maybe doing something enjoyable with their nuclear families. Boomers need to remind themselves that they are not the center of the universe and chill out. GenX and millennials need to let go of trying to please people like this or expecting reasonable behavior.

Another thing Boomers don’t realize is…we all don’t live in the same town or the same two towns anymore. When you lived 5-50 miles from all of your relatives, of course everyone showed up for the funeral. And if dad had to work, of course SAHM would bring the kids. But now that people are spread out all over the country and the world, moms are working, and people have limited time off and limited resources, we can’t all fly for some uncle’s funeral when we were never close and haven’t seen him in 5 years and his funeral is on a Wednesday in Ohio.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus people are so friggin self centered these days. And overly WORK focused. You all claim to be so “community” and “equity” and won’t even attend your own family members funerals because you might miss work? I doubt very much that any of you will be wishing you’d spent more time at work at the end of your lives.

They will not be wishing that they spent more time at random relatives funerals either. No reasonable person would expect anyone to travel for an extended relatives funeral.

People have work obligations, kid obligations, and financial obligations. People need to use most of their PTO for their own family for illnesses or maybe just maybe doing something enjoyable with their nuclear families. Boomers need to remind themselves that they are not the center of the universe and chill out. GenX and millennials need to let go of trying to please people like this or expecting reasonable behavior.

You and your weird boomer hate is pretty tiresome. Newsflash: Boomers are "people" too.

[Anonymous]

My partner had a terribly traumatic incident as a child, and it was followed by the funeral. I only saw him attend one funeral, and he completely shut down. He went to support his mom, but the whole thing was painful. Some people don’t need to go to funerals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus people are so friggin self centered these days. And overly WORK focused. You all claim to be so “community” and “equity” and won’t even attend your own family members funerals because you might miss work? I doubt very much that any of you will be wishing you’d spent more time at work at the end of your lives.

They will not be wishing that they spent more time at random relatives funerals either. No reasonable person would expect anyone to travel for an extended relatives funeral.

People have work obligations, kid obligations, and financial obligations. People need to use most of their PTO for their own family for illnesses or maybe just maybe doing something enjoyable with their nuclear families. Boomers need to remind themselves that they are not the center of the universe and chill out. GenX and millennials need to let go of trying to please people like this or expecting reasonable behavior.

You and your weird boomer hate is pretty tiresome. Newsflash: Boomers are "people" too.

+1. Somebody pointed this poster out on another thread and now I recognize it too. This boomer hater sounds really self-centered....

[Anonymous]

A funeral is about remembering the person who has died. Yes different religious have their various traditions, but on a whole, it's literally just a group of people who are together to reminisce.

[Anonymous]

+1 don’t make it worse by opining about it. You get to not go, people get to think you’re cold, a formal roll out of your new policy is not going change anything and will be annoying.

Exactly. Don't go. Make an excuse, or don't. Send a condolence card, or don't. Just don't make people who are grieving the loss of a loved one have to waste bandwidth on your reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus people are so friggin self centered these days. And overly WORK focused. You all claim to be so “community” and “equity” and won’t even attend your own family members funerals because you might miss work? I doubt very much that any of you will be wishing you’d spent more time at work at the end of your lives.

Your right. We will have lost our jobs, but be thinking how fortunate we were to have gone some random relatives funeral?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus people are so friggin self centered these days. And overly WORK focused. You all claim to be so “community” and “equity” and won’t even attend your own family members funerals because you might miss work? I doubt very much that any of you will be wishing you’d spent more time at work at the end of your lives.

Your right. We will have lost our jobs, but be thinking how fortunate we were to have gone some random relatives funeral?!

NP. If massive exaggeration is your go-to gambit, it's obvious that you're not mature enough to deal with an inconvenient funeral or the role of helping out a family member. (Also: you're not your.)

Newsflash: attending a funeral is an act of generosity. It's not about you. It's about supporting the close family of the deceased.

[Anonymous]

I hate funerals too. I have a difficult time with death and would rather not be around a bunch of people to cope. Cope how you cope - people will judge grief but try to not let it get to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate funerals too. I have a difficult time with death and would rather not be around a bunch of people to cope. Cope how you cope - people will judge grief but try to not let it get to you.

Except it doesn't sound like OP is grieving. It sounds like she can't be arsed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus people are so friggin self centered these days. And overly WORK focused. You all claim to be so “community” and “equity” and won’t even attend your own family members funerals because you might miss work? I doubt very much that any of you will be wishing you’d spent more time at work at the end of your lives.

They will not be wishing that they spent more time at random relatives funerals either. No reasonable person would expect anyone to travel for an extended relatives funeral.

People have work obligations, kid obligations, and financial obligations. People need to use most of their PTO for their own family for illnesses or maybe just maybe doing something enjoyable with their nuclear families. Boomers need to remind themselves that they are not the center of the universe and chill out. GenX and millennials need to let go of trying to please people like this or expecting reasonable behavior.

You and your weird boomer hate is pretty tiresome. Newsflash: Boomers are "people" too.

+1. Somebody pointed this poster out on another thread and now I recognize it too. This boomer hater sounds really self-centered....

+1 I ignore them.

[Anonymous]

How many people are dying that it makes such a difference if you’re there or not? Just make your excuses and don’t go. No need to create drama and make an issue of it.

I don’t attend many family events. I make my excuses and don’t go. People can think or say what they like, but I don’t feel that I need to make an issue of my “issues” with a particular family member.

[Anonymous]

If you don't want to go to funerals, fine, but don't make some dramatic public pronouncement.

Lie. Come up with coherent reasons why you can't attend when this comes up. Over the years people will just accept that you can't handle funerals but you care enough to send flowers and make excuses.

Making a big announcement about how you are done with funerals will just make you look like an enormous a-h0le

[Anonymous]

Funerals are often an occasion for distant family to get together. At my aunt’s recent funeral we had two different dinners with family over the weekend. That more than makes it worth going imo. But, showing up for dinner (free in our case because aunt’s estate paid for it) without going to the actual funeral makes you an ahole.