If you are Catholic and consider yourself "observant"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is worried about missing youth group but was ok with divorce. Classic.

The problem is not divorce itself, but remarrying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is worried about missing youth group but was ok with divorce. Classic.

No, he’s not OK with divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not getting divorced would be one thing.

Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not getting divorced would be one thing.

Seriously.

OP specified they aren’t divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not getting divorced would be one thing.

Seriously.

OP specified they aren’t divorced.

They're not living together, which means they're not having sex, which is basically birth control. Abstinence within marriage is not ok in the Catholic Church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not getting divorced would be one thing.

Seriously.

OP specified they aren’t divorced.

They're not living together, which means they're not having sex, which is basically birth control. Abstinence within marriage is not ok in the Catholic Church.

It takes two people to be married. If someone chooses not to live with someone, or to do things with them, the other person can't force them to, either according to US law or. Catholic teaching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not getting divorced would be one thing.

Seriously.

OP specified they aren’t divorced.

They're not living together, which means they're not having sex, which is basically birth control. Abstinence within marriage is not ok in the Catholic Church.

It takes two people to be married. If someone chooses not to live with someone, or to do things with them, the other person can't force them to, either according to US law or. Catholic teaching.

Yes, this is true. Just saying, he's not really living in a valid Catholic marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not getting divorced would be one thing.

Seriously.

OP specified they aren’t divorced.

They're not living together, which means they're not having sex, which is basically birth control. Abstinence within marriage is not ok in the Catholic Church.

It takes two people to be married. If someone chooses not to live with someone, or to do things with them, the other person can't force them to, either according to US law or. Catholic teaching.

Yes, this is true. Just saying, he's not really living in a valid Catholic marriage.

I have no responsibility to make sure that he is following Catholic teaching. I do have a responsibility to make sure that my kids are, because I agreed to it in the custody agreement, both because I'd do it anyway because I know that the familiar church is a source of comfort for them, and because I signed a custody agreement in which I said I would.

I'm just not happy to follow his made up rules.

For example, on a recent Holy Day of obligation, I took one of the kids to a different church than the one we usually attend, one that was close to school and let him get to school on time. Their father argued that "real" Catholics always attend their own parish. This is a made up rule. There is no rule that says that you can't attend a weekday mass at a church convenient to your work or school. He was mad at me about something else, and decided to find something else to complain about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not getting divorced would be one thing.

Seriously.

OP specified they aren’t divorced.

They're not living together, which means they're not having sex, which is basically birth control. Abstinence within marriage is not ok in the Catholic Church.

It takes two people to be married. If someone chooses not to live with someone, or to do things with them, the other person can't force them to, either according to US law or. Catholic teaching.

Yes, this is true. Just saying, he's not really living in a valid Catholic marriage.

I have no responsibility to make sure that he is following Catholic teaching. I do have a responsibility to make sure that my kids are, because I agreed to it in the custody agreement, both because I'd do it anyway because I know that the familiar church is a source of comfort for them, and because I signed a custody agreement in which I said I would.

I'm just not happy to follow his made up rules.

For example, on a recent Holy Day of obligation, I took one of the kids to a different church than the one we usually attend, one that was close to school and let him get to school on time. Their father argued that "real" Catholics always attend their own parish. This is a made up rule. There is no rule that says that you can't attend a weekday mass at a church convenient to your work or school. He was mad at me about something else, and decided to find something else to complain about.

Yeah, that's a rule from a long time ago that no one follows anymore. Sorry you have to deal with his nitpicking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not getting divorced would be one thing.

Seriously.

OP specified they aren’t divorced.

They're not living together, which means they're not having sex, which is basically birth control. Abstinence within marriage is not ok in the Catholic Church.

It takes two people to be married. If someone chooses not to live with someone, or to do things with them, the other person can't force them to, either according to US law or. Catholic teaching.

Yes, this is true. Just saying, he's not really living in a valid Catholic marriage.

I have no responsibility to make sure that he is following Catholic teaching. I do have a responsibility to make sure that my kids are, because I agreed to it in the custody agreement, both because I'd do it anyway because I know that the familiar church is a source of comfort for them, and because I signed a custody agreement in which I said I would.

I'm just not happy to follow his made up rules.

For example, on a recent Holy Day of obligation, I took one of the kids to a different church than the one we usually attend, one that was close to school and let him get to school on time. Their father argued that "real" Catholics always attend their own parish. This is a made up rule. There is no rule that says that you can't attend a weekday mass at a church convenient to your work or school. He was mad at me about something else, and decided to find something else to complain about.

Yeah, that's a rule from a long time ago that no one follows anymore. Sorry you have to deal with his nitpicking.

I know there was a rule from a long time ago that you're supposed to join your own home parish, but has it ever been a rule that you can't attend mass somewhere else when you're away from home?

Catholic schools have, since the beginning, held mass on campus, including on Holy Days of Obligation. If the rule used to be that you couldn't go to church away from your parish, why would they do that?

[Anonymous]

The minimum would seem to be:

1. Attendance at Mass on Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation;

2. Catechetical and moral training either in a Catholic school or a catechism (CCD) program;

3. Church-provided preparation for sacraments (Confession, Communion, Confirmation) and timely receipt thereof;

4. Reasonable support, including transportation to Mass, Confession and religious training or events; at least some participation in school or CCD activities and sacramental preparation; encouragement of age appropriate individual prayer and religious/Bible study and similar Catholic customs; and

5. Non-detraction of Catholic belief and practice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attending mass on Sundays and holy days,
attending either Catholic school or CCD
Receiving appropriate sacraments (baptism as a baby, first confession and first communion around 2nd grade, Confirmation when older).

+1

+3

I'm going to guess that the OP skipped mass one Sunday and the DH is being a jerk about it. I think you can certainly still be an observant Catholic if you skip mass here and there, but as a rule you should be attending

False. Missing mass is a mortal sin. Attending mass on sundays is a core element of being observant. If you're child is of the age to receive communion, you are also obligated to ensure they attend weekly as well.

False it’s only a mortal sin to miss Easter mass.

Um, . . . You might want to check your Catechism on that.

[Anonymous]

Adding: I really wonder whether a judge in any civil court is likely to become embroiled in the entirely religious question of what constitutes Catholic observance adequate to satisfy an apparently poorly drafted agreement that requires children to be raised Catholic but does not set minimum criteria for what that means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Adding: I really wonder whether a judge in any civil court is likely to become embroiled in the entirely religious question of what constitutes Catholic observance adequate to satisfy an apparently poorly drafted agreement that requires children to be raised Catholic but does not set minimum criteria for what that means.

Of course they are not.

OP, the real issue her is that your estranged husband wants to be able to continue to control your actions, and is threatening you with consequences he has no hope of enforcing. I'd imagine it's a key reason you are separated. I'd ignore him or call his bluff and tell him if he wants to press it you'll counter with taking out the religion obligation of the custody agreement altogether. He's not acting in good faith.

[Anonymous]

Why are you dealing directly with this man about anything? Have his lawyer call your lawyer. Maybe more money but way less hassle.