DH says my parenting style is a failure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes your DH is a jerk, but he also has a point. I don’t think he is wrong in general sentiment. Kids are a LOT of work. Building successful kids that have the most possible opportunities later in school/life takes a lot of dedicated nurturing and time- both to enrich their strengths and work on their deficiencies. This take a lot of resources; both time and sometimes money. This is why it is mostly the kids of UMC families getting into the better schools.

If you don’t nurture their minds and are simply in survival mode; cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, driving, then they may not have the opportunity to do anything beyond a blue collar job. There is nothing wrong with blue collar jobs, as you said. But it may not be their choice, they may be shut out of other schools and opportunities.

So you think it is all on OP to do for her children? As noted earlier. It is 2022. Ozxie and Harriet and June Cleaver are distant memories. You think a 3 yr. Old should be doing laundry? You are as bad as OP'd husband.

[Anonymous]

Is he a cuck OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Drop that zero and get with this hero. I cook, clean, drive my kids to school pick them up. Teach them music and sports. Your husband is a loser

[Anonymous]

Op, I hope you're not spoiling your kids. Everybody hates spoiled kids and doesn't want to be near them. People blame the parents, not the children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work full time and do all of the work taking care of kids, drop off/pick up, taking them to appointments/classes, house cleaning and cooking. DH says that my parenting is going to screw our kids growing up. I have told him to wash dishes, take kids to playground/play sports, make dinner, read books to kids etc, and he maybe does it reluctantly 1 out of 30 times me asking him. He says our kids are going to be working as a blue collar and do not know what they want to do as adult and maybe no college education. Our kids are only 3 and 6, and of course I don't know what they will grow up to do. DH says we don't provide nuturing environment and guidance for them to be successful. I have questioned him what wrong is blue collar job if these are what they want to be. I am totally fine if these are their interests, could make a living and they are happy.

We both have decent education and white collar jobs as professional. Our kids have some developmental delays in social skills/speech, and one kid is gifted.They are helpful but they are pretty looking, outgoing, talkative and friendly. DH's mentality is that we should promote reading, homework, discipline and routine. I have told him many times that i could only do that much by myself and i am exhausted to the point that I allow them many screentime. I have told him he could take over the parenting and do reading habit and whatever routine/discipline he wants to do once they are home on evenings. He insists saying that I am doing free range parenting and I am failing our kids. I don't understand why damn him that he could not just take over but keep nagging at me out of blue with anger. What have I done that failing my kids? They are happy, go to swim/soccer class, and they have playdate/party invite and loved by teachers. One kid is planning to try some tournament in chess/math compeition. Yes, they are handful, naughty, but it is almost 95% me dealing with them.

I have told him many times that i hate him making me feeling sad saying that what I do now is all for failing our kids. All he does is talking and no action. Dh is born here, and I come here at 20 years old. We are the same race, and i make about the same money as him.

Tell him that his spouse style is a failure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he a cuck OP

A what?

[Anonymous]

Your husband is thinking, acting and talking like a stupid person's idea of what a smart person thinks, acts, and talks like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes your DH is a jerk, but he also has a point. I don’t think he is wrong in general sentiment. Kids are a LOT of work. Building successful kids that have the most possible opportunities later in school/life takes a lot of dedicated nurturing and time- both to enrich their strengths and work on their deficiencies. This take a lot of resources; both time and sometimes money. This is why it is mostly the kids of UMC families getting into the better schools.

If you don’t nurture their minds and are simply in survival mode; cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, driving, then they may not have the opportunity to do anything beyond a blue collar job. There is nothing wrong with blue collar jobs, as you said. But it may not be their choice, they may be shut out of other schools and opportunities.

You sound highly anxious. Are you?

You really don’t need to do all that much to raise successful kids. Make their home a stable, calm, safe haven. Meet their physical and emotional needs. Done. Parental wealth and child’s genetics will handle the rest.

[Anonymous]

Your husband sounds awful and unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

All this at only 3 and 6. I feel so sorry for your children.