DH says my parenting style is a failure

[Anonymous]

I work full time and do all of the work taking care of kids, drop off/pick up, taking them to appointments/classes, house cleaning and cooking. DH says that my parenting is going to screw our kids growing up. I have told him to wash dishes, take kids to playground/play sports, make dinner, read books to kids etc, and he maybe does it reluctantly 1 out of 30 times me asking him. He says our kids are going to be working as a blue collar and do not know what they want to do as adult and maybe no college education. Our kids are only 3 and 6, and of course I don't know what they will grow up to do. DH says we don't provide nuturing environment and guidance for them to be successful. I have questioned him what wrong is blue collar job if these are what they want to be. I am totally fine if these are their interests, could make a living and they are happy.

We both have decent education and white collar jobs as professional. Our kids have some developmental delays in social skills/speech, and one kid is gifted.They are helpful but they are pretty looking, outgoing, talkative and friendly. DH's mentality is that we should promote reading, homework, discipline and routine. I have told him many times that i could only do that much by myself and i am exhausted to the point that I allow them many screentime. I have told him he could take over the parenting and do reading habit and whatever routine/discipline he wants to do once they are home on evenings. He insists saying that I am doing free range parenting and I am failing our kids. I don't understand why damn him that he could not just take over but keep nagging at me out of blue with anger. What have I done that failing my kids? They are happy, go to swim/soccer class, and they have playdate/party invite and loved by teachers. One kid is planning to try some tournament in chess/math compeition. Yes, they are handful, naughty, but it is almost 95% me dealing with them.

I have told him many times that i hate him making me feeling sad saying that what I do now is all for failing our kids. All he does is talking and no action. Dh is born here, and I come here at 20 years old. We are the same race, and i make about the same money as him.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is an ass.

[Anonymous]

“Thanks again for the feedback. For the next two weeks, we’re going to switch roles: I’m just going to work and observe your parenting, and you’re going to do drop-off/pick-up, meals, and everything else related to the caretaking of the kids. I’ll be taking notes on your parenting to see how it’s really done. I’m looking forward to learning a lot.”

How THE EFF have you allowed yourself to work full-time AND do all the parenting?

[Anonymous]

Indian?

[Anonymous]

Nothing about parenting. He is picking on you for some reason.

[Anonymous]

Modern motherhood sucks. Work a full-time job, take care of all the administrative tasks for the family, be responsible for everyone’s meals, sleep schedule, illnesses, emotional and physical health, and oh yea, dad thinks the three year old is going to be a plumber and that’s bad and it’s all the mother’s fault.

Sorry, op. That sucks.

[Anonymous]

Wow. He is welcome to parent how he wants to parent. He ca read to them and do extra work etc. when do you all get home? Do you use a screen to get time to cook dinner? (I do too and I dont think its an issue) But if he is home then, feel free to say no to the screen and say "daddy will read to you now" and send them his way. Your kids sound lovely by the way and those are fun ages.
Dh sounds like an ass.

[Anonymous]

You sound like me…..but I’m a single parent. You shouldn’t be doing everything on your own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is an ass.

He is a FAHE (effing a..hole extraordinaire).
This is a case where, truly, you may be better off without him.

Counseling and the sooner the better.

[Anonymous]

The 3 year old hasn't chosen a career yet?

[Anonymous]

He sounds like a jerk. At this rate, you’d be better off divorced…then he can either not see the kids at all or handle them at least some of the time.

[Anonymous]

lol that's not even free range parenting. Your DH is stupid. If your children amount to nothing, he would have had a huge part in that. He sounds lazy and toxic.

[Anonymous]

He is wrong, OP.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I'd just play dumb and assume when he says "we" he means that he's going to do it.

"I'd love for you to read more to the kids, babe! I think that's a fantastic idea! All their books are in the den, so you'll go read to them for what, an hour? I'm gonna go run some errands while you do that, see ya!"

"A bedtime routine is a FANTASTIC idea! Pajamas are in the top dresser. While you do the routine I'm gonna go take a shower"

"The kids would LOVE some help with their homework! It's all in the red folders in their backpacks. The kitchen table is clear, you can set up there"

[Anonymous]

Small dick syndrome OP. Sorry about this