Drowning in stuff, finally time to tackle but how to not be overwhelmed? Anyone do this before?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d start with a pencil and paper think through a strategy before you get sucked into the mess of distractions. Think about what you want you house to be, how you want it to flow, with. Also list the things you know are packed and determine where you want them.

Determine which room you need functioning first and get that room sorted before moving on.

Always have a set of bins while you are sorting and take out the trash regurally.

+1. I’m a reformed slob. This is exactly what I’d suggest too. Make a plan for what needs to go where & find a way to delegate.

I’d start practical and start with stuff that makes it easier to get out the door:
Work bag/school bags: dump everything and organize/streamline contents. Create a spot for all of this to get parked once sorted (hooks near door, repurpose a coat closet, etc)
Gym/sports: each person gets a bag that holds all the stuff they need for each activity (shoes, balls, rackets, etc). Label the bags and make sure there is an easy place for this stuff to land (hooks/cubbies near door/repurposed coat closet etc.) - and if stinky athletic clothes are involved, make a laundry hamper available nearby.
Lunch stuff: organize and sort bags/storage containers, create self-serve area where kids can DIY their lunches assuming they’re old enough
Paperwork: open any unopened mail, toss what you can and create a prioritized pile of admin for the rest. Label separate piles for you/spouse/kids and delegate responsibility to others as much as possible.

Create covered donation bins to keep in garage or basement. As soon as you don’t want something, into the bin it goes. Cover them up so that your kids/spouse don’t walk by and gain renewed interest and ‘rescue’ un-needed stuff. As those bins fill, drop them off. Ferrying donations to goodwill etc is a great task for people to do when they ask how they can help. My teen did 40 of her required learner’s permit hours driving stuff to the dump when we had to clean out my parents’ house.

Dealing with the above will help create time and control messes, preventing them from snowballing.

As you have bandwidth, go room by room or even corner by corner, following your game plan to relocate items to areas better-suited places. Seeing improvement will help you gain confidence and a sense of progress, so target high-visibility places first.

Yes, thank you! These are wonderful tips!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Done is better than perfect.

What I do is: drink a coffee, put on some music or an interesting podcast to keep me entertained, and get to work on one area--pick a small-ish area to start out like the kitchen counter or a bookshelf and then once you get some momentum going you can expand to a larger area at a time like a whole closet -- I go through and sort items into 4 piles: items to keep, items to donate to Goodwill or wherever you donate things, items to pass on to a family member/friend, items to throw out. If it seems overwhelming or like you're creating an even bigger mess, maybe take a short break but I've found that the break should be only about 5-10 mins because any longer and you'll just give up entirely.

Paper is the hardest thing for me. I'm a very sentimental person and have a hard time getting rid of things my kids created or things related to their school work or cards/notes I've received. So for those sentimental items I display a few of my favorites on the fridge or on the wall of my kids' rooms and then I limit myself to a small box per kid (that is kept under their bed) for any additional art work and school work that's special and one small box for me for letters/cards I'd like to save. And I take a picture of each thing that I wind up discarding before I recycle/trash it. I'll probably never do anything w/ those pictures again (I have seen a website where you can create a book of your kids' art but I doubt I'd ever actually do that) but it makes it easier for me to throw the art away knowing I have at least kept a picture of it. Then we have a file box where we keep important papers/documents stored. I have a file for each family member w/ birth certificates, passports, etc. and then a file for the house, the cars, health stuff, insurance stuff, etc. so it's easy to keep that stuff organized and always know to put it back in the same spot so we don't lose it.

I agree, paper is so hard!
I filled up my phone yesterday photographing some papers so I could recycle them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell the parents they have until December 31, 2022 to take anything they want, back; otherwise you will sell/donate it as you wish but you're not keeping it. And then I'd put it all to the side.

Other than that, I'd use the touch once method as much as possible. The second I have two bags/boxes worth of stuff to donate or throw away I'd use my next break to go do that. Even though it'll be a lot of trips, getting crap out of the house is really important - you can't take stuff out of the boxes, you can't just push it all to one side, etc.

Touch once, I like it!

[Anonymous]

Touch once
Done is better than perfect
Small progress
I'm worth it
People more than things
Don't pay your mortgage for your stuff, pay it for yourself
Containerize memories
The container concept in general - you are only allowed to fill up a certain amount of space

These and more things in learning from you. I'm inspired that other people have dug themselves out of messes. Thank you all, keep sharing and inspiring. For others working on this now, we can do it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh I am the PP and I want to add one more tip that I believe in.

If you are going to have any boxes or totes that are going to stay as storage, get a p-touch labeler or a sharpie and label it with EVERYTHING that’s in there. Not “parent stuff,” not “Christmas.” My darling mother whom I love and who is fabulous and successful has boxes in the attic labeled “attic” which gives me hives. Instead, the box should have ten labels on it that say:
“Mom’s cookbooks”
“Dad’s sewing box”
“Mom’s needlepoint samplers”
“Unidentified old Christmas cards”
“Two crystal goblets that belonged to great grandmother”

That might feel weird or uncomfortable while you’re doing it, but it really, really helps later on. Even if this is all you do, it will be valuable work at some point in my opinion. But this is just my opinion.

All great advice, but I would add that I like to also keep a list of what boxes of what are where...if that makes sense. So when I want to find "Mom's Cookbook", I know it is in a box in the attic, not the basement for example.

[Anonymous]

OP, I totally feel you. My husband, daughter and son CANNOT throw things away. It pains me, and stresses me out. I almost can't function.

Start with a drawer, a closet, a room. Don't pressure yourself into doing everything at once.

In fact, I start in one corner of the house and usually move room by room on each level.

If I'm sorting stuff, I turn on a movie that I've seen a million times (in case I have to get up to do something) and just sit there.

[Anonymous]

If it's a misc box of stuff you need to sort, you really don't need to sort. Glance in the box and "save" anything that seems special. Otherwise, throw-out. Whatever was in there and got thrown-out, you'll never know. And that's ok.

[Anonymous]

Some categories of stuff I approach this way: How much space should Christmas take up in my home? I'm willing to devote 5 large bins to Christmas because that's what fits (in a particular closet, for example) So that's it. I don't need to figure out a way to store all the Christmas stuff I might have/acquire. Instead, I have 5 bins. When those are full, that's it. No more. I get rid or and purge, even stuff I like, in order to make it fit.

This is similar to when we sent DD off to college: We're mailing-ahead 4 boxes. These 4 boxes. What do you want to put in them? This is the "volume" of stuff that's getting sent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it's a misc box of stuff you need to sort, you really don't need to sort. Glance in the box and "save" anything that seems special. Otherwise, throw-out. Whatever was in there and got thrown-out, you'll never know. And that's ok.

Agree with this. Especially if it’s a box that has been sealed up for months or years. If you haven’t touched something in 6 months to a year, there should be a very strong presumption that it needs to go. It doesn’t matter that it’s “good.” You don’t use it and you don’t need it. The exception would be sentimental things, but you need to have a plan to save only the best things and have a plan to make them accessible.

[Anonymous]

Look at the website Un@uck Your Habitat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some categories of stuff I approach this way: How much space should Christmas take up in my home? I'm willing to devote 5 large bins to Christmas because that's what fits (in a particular closet, for example) So that's it. I don't need to figure out a way to store all the Christmas stuff I might have/acquire. Instead, I have 5 bins. When those are full, that's it. No more. I get rid or and purge, even stuff I like, in order to make it fit.

This is similar to when we sent DD off to college: We're mailing-ahead 4 boxes. These 4 boxes. What do you want to put in them? This is the "volume" of stuff that's getting sent.

This is so smart. I’m going to do this.

NP

[Anonymous]

I'm also drowning in digital clutter, specifically my phone. I don't want to pay for extra storage, so I want to reduce what's on the phone but there are some photos I want to keep on there (for example a picture of something I need to refer back to or a favorite picture of loved one). So I feel like I have to go through the pics one by one to see what to delete from phone after downloading.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's a misc box of stuff you need to sort, you really don't need to sort. Glance in the box and "save" anything that seems special. Otherwise, throw-out. Whatever was in there and got thrown-out, you'll never know. And that's ok.

Agree with this. Especially if it’s a box that has been sealed up for months or years. If you haven’t touched something in 6 months to a year, there should be a very strong presumption that it needs to go. It doesn’t matter that it’s “good.” You don’t use it and you don’t need it. The exception would be sentimental things, but you need to have a plan to save only the best things and have a plan to make them accessible.

Op here. I totally love this in theory. The rapid packing up plus the ADHD in the family means boxes contain things like

Savings bonds from grandparents
Only existing photos of deceased relatives
Last year's tax returns
Great great great grandfather's harmonica
A missing file of printed portfolio samples from my work that must be somewhere

Among

Half finished craft projects
CDs
Random cords
Flashlights
Unopened mail (grrrr)

DH took on a lot of the packing in a hurry, and while I appreciate that he got it done, it's....interesting to see how things ended up. The distraction between important and not important got thrown out the window in favor of "get all the stuff packed and out of the way."

But guess what, guys? I bought a label maker!

[Anonymous]

Tons of good advice already. I wanted to add that sometimes it’s helpful to switch between strategies. I have two main ones - pull all like items from everywhere and deal with it, and 100% sort on a space.

Pull all like items can be:
-all dirty dishes to kitchen and wash them
-all magazines, newspapers, mail, empty boxes gathered and put out for paper recycling
-gather all books/CDs/videotapes that you are done with and donate to friends of the library
-gather all the kids toys from everywhere to sort out- keep, donate, trash

100% sort on a space could be small or big task
Process is to 100% empty it. Clean it. Then sort items into keep-belongs there, keep-belongs elsewhere, not sure, trash, donate.
Not sure can go back in space if appropriate (book, toy) or in box.
-one bookshelf
-toy bin
-drawer
-under cabinet
-closet
-corner of room

As you work, if you keep finding similar items, it can be more efficient to find as much as you can of the same thing, sort it out, and then handle storing/donating/trashing all at once.

If you find that one space is closer to done than others, sometimes stopping and finishing it is more efficient and then helps with other areas.

[Anonymous]

Tons of good advice here!
OP, I’d also prioritize getting a new regular cleaner. It’s not surprising to me that your peak overwhelmed feeling has hit at the same time that you’ve been without a cleaner for a few months. I personally feel like I can “handle” dealing with my own clutter and organizing the day after the cleaner comes. It’s like knowing that the sink and floors and shelves are clean that makes going through a pile of papers less stressful. If you’re the same way, you could try instituting declutter sessions every two weeks right after the cleaner comes and see if that helps you make calmer, steady progress.