Drowning in stuff, finally time to tackle but how to not be overwhelmed? Anyone do this before?

[Anonymous]

I took off work today and next week to tackle my house that has was barely hanging on but got completely out of control because

- working a ton of overtime every night after kids went to bed (hence comp time now to take this on) so have just been doing the bare minimum home stuff mainly in the kitchen
- husband and at least one of two kids have ADHD and don't notice the trails of stuff they leave behind them
- I notice the clutter and end up picking up after others but haven't developed good systems to keep it under control
- basement flood meant moving a lot of stuff stored there into the main living area
- reason we had a lot of stuff in the unfinished basement in the first place was that we were posted overseas over the summer and still haven't processed stuff that was boxed up before we left and stuff we brought home (short notice on the summer opportunity led to panic packing and boxing so we could rent out our house in a hurry, so unfortunately there's important stuff mixed in with not so important stuff)
- parents dumped a bunch of family stuff into our attic before they downsized and no one had time to go through it but the space is stuffed
- sentimental
- not a huge house 1800 square feet
- before going overseas our biweekly house cleaner moved away and we haven't found someone new. The last couple months taught me that having to pick up before cleaning every two weeks was the only thing keeping our heads above water, so once I get this stuff out of the way we will reinstate.

So any tips? I'm staring at stacks of boxes and stuff feeling overwhelmed. I know the secret is to get rid of stuff. We're at the point where probably most of what needs to get donated has been shoved into closets and drawers and the stuff we use regularly is out surrounding me. I'm scared to start pulling out more stuff out and making the mess worse, but maybe I need to?

Does anyone know good strategies to not be completely overwhelmed?

[Anonymous]

Okay 1, you just listed like 8 excuses for internet strangers who don’t know you. Dealing with all that guilt is really hard, so don’t do it this week. Try to coach yourself as if you were a good friend talking to you.

As a good friend/child of cluttered people, let me help:

“This is just stuff!! You are not a bad person because your house is cluttered. You are loved and worthy and nobody is perfect. Remember how clean Patrick Bateman’s apartment was? That’s because he was a murdering psychopath.”

“We are not going to get to perfection this week and that is perfectly okay. This is not a pass/fail project. We get partial credit! For literally anything you manage to get rid of, there is a benefit. So we’re just going to work until we’re out of time and all of that work will count and help, even if it is not all ‘done’ and you still have ‘too much stuff.’””

“This is hard work with a lot of emotions. It’s okay to get frustrated, to take breaks, and to ask for help.”

“It’s really great that you care about yourself and your family enough to spend all this time trying to make their space more functional and welcoming.”


Can you tell I have said all these things before? That’s how I know they’re true. As best you can, ignore your own inner monologue and say this. Your inner monologue can wait until you have time for years of therapy. It will still be there next week, waiting for you.

In terms of strategy, I think you could do worse than reading and following Marie Kondo’s book. Basically she has you tackle one category at a time by piling everything up, purging, and then putting it back in an organized fashion. It works for me as a method, and you have a nice chunk of time. But if you read it and are repelled, there are lots of others out there!

You could also hire an organizer to help you, or even just a task rabbit. Sometimes having someone else helps a lot if you are stuck.

Good luck!! Go you!! I believe in you!

[Anonymous]

Oh I am the PP and I want to add one more tip that I believe in.

If you are going to have any boxes or totes that are going to stay as storage, get a p-touch labeler or a sharpie and label it with EVERYTHING that’s in there. Not “parent stuff,” not “Christmas.” My darling mother whom I love and who is fabulous and successful has boxes in the attic labeled “attic” which gives me hives. Instead, the box should have ten labels on it that say:
“Mom’s cookbooks”
“Dad’s sewing box”
“Mom’s needlepoint samplers”
“Unidentified old Christmas cards”
“Two crystal goblets that belonged to great grandmother”

That might feel weird or uncomfortable while you’re doing it, but it really, really helps later on. Even if this is all you do, it will be valuable work at some point in my opinion. But this is just my opinion.

[Anonymous]

One the other hand, if the Marie Kondo method seems overwhelming, I find the approach from "A Slob Comes Clean"(Dana K. White) more accessible.

I listen to her podcast (maybe just start at the beginning?), but she has books, blog entries, videos, etc.

E.g. here's a video that shows her basic approach to dealing with clutter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bi3ZQq_3dh0

Her "container concept" is really simple and helpful: https://www.youtube.com/aslobcomesclean

[Anonymous]

Despite the blog name, the author is very kindhearted and has good, practical suggestions:
https://www.aslobcomesclean.com/

The biggest way she differs from Marie Kondo is her method is not to pull everything out, under the assumption that you will be interrupted and left with a bigger mess. Her methods are a little easier to implement, I have found.

[Anonymous]

+1 to A Slob Comes Clean

[Anonymous]

Pull out all the donations you already have, and first thing CLEAR IT OUT this morning. Put it in the car and take it today.

Then start with what is still in your house. Trash and donate. Just use trash bags, label and keep going. Start with one area. If you aren't sure have a "I'm thinking about this" spot in each room you are working. Be able to tuck that away later, so a box is good for this.

Next: at the end of today, make sure you leave a bit of time to "clean up" and put things away, even if it's not perfect, before you have kids back in the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay 1, you just listed like 8 excuses for internet strangers who don’t know you. Dealing with all that guilt is really hard, so don’t do it this week. Try to coach yourself as if you were a good friend talking to you.

As a good friend/child of cluttered people, let me help:

“This is just stuff!! You are not a bad person because your house is cluttered. You are loved and worthy and nobody is perfect. Remember how clean Patrick Bateman’s apartment was? That’s because he was a murdering psychopath.”

“We are not going to get to perfection this week and that is perfectly okay. This is not a pass/fail project. We get partial credit! For literally anything you manage to get rid of, there is a benefit. So we’re just going to work until we’re out of time and all of that work will count and help, even if it is not all ‘done’ and you still have ‘too much stuff.’””

“This is hard work with a lot of emotions. It’s okay to get frustrated, to take breaks, and to ask for help.”

“It’s really great that you care about yourself and your family enough to spend all this time trying to make their space more functional and welcoming.”


Can you tell I have said all these things before? That’s how I know they’re true. As best you can, ignore your own inner monologue and say this. Your inner monologue can wait until you have time for years of therapy. It will still be there next week, waiting for you.

In terms of strategy, I think you could do worse than reading and following Marie Kondo’s book. Basically she has you tackle one category at a time by piling everything up, purging, and then putting it back in an organized fashion. It works for me as a method, and you have a nice chunk of time. But if you read it and are repelled, there are lots of others out there!

You could also hire an organizer to help you, or even just a task rabbit. Sometimes having someone else helps a lot if you are stuck.

Good luck!! Go you!! I believe in you!

Thank you Internet stranger! I have tears in my eyes. You are saying just what I think I needed to hear. I am bookmarking this.

I did read and love the Marie Kondo book when it came out. I Kondo-ed my own clothes and the kitchen (so not completely following the order of her method because I ran out of time) a few years ago. Interestingly they are the only areas not completely overwhelming me right now. Thank you for the reminder!

I don't remember Kondo having as clear instructions for the miscellaneous stuff that's around me now, much of which I think is useful and needed, but I will employ spark joy method. Thanks thanks thanks!

[Anonymous]

Two things:

Start boxing things up and schedule GreenDrop pick-ups. You leave the items on your porch and they pick it up. Set a goal for yourself to pack up X number of boxes per week for pick-up. https://www.gogreendrop.com/

For the stuff that is junk, get a Bagster if you meet their requirements for pick-up. Fill it up and pay to have it hauled away.

[Anonymous]

Do you know how I clean my house? I entertain large groups of people. I have to clean up then to host. It is extremely stressful but if I don't do that, I am quite capable of becoming an extreme hoarder. I am at heart a filthy and lazy person. Cleaning and throwing away things are hard for me. I just put myself into extreme situations to clean. Right now, I have three days left to clean my house before a big party. Do you even know how stressed I am?

OP - you have it. You got it. Do only one box at a time. Only one box. If you want to cheat and throw the content of one box in another so that you can feel you have cleaned out one box - well, in my books, even that counts.

How am I going to clean today? In about 1 hour, I will get to cleaning. I take "before and after pics" of every place I clean on my smartphone. Initially, I clean the 'already clean' spaces, and just move clutter from all the rooms to one room. That way, visually I feel I have clean space and I have cleaned many rooms.

Then, I basically do the same for the clutter-dump room. I work from one quadrant at a time. My mantra is "A yard is hard, but an inch is a cinch"

So, I will clean with specific things in mind. I will clean only one drawer. I will bag only one ziplock bag of bits and bobs. I will recycle only two containers worth of stuff. I will give away only 3 bags of laundry. I will put away only 10 things out of place. I am able to clean when some areas are very clean and all the clutter is in one room.

You can do Marie Kondo too. I use Marie Kondo for only doing all the clothes and it is very, very effective for clothes. Last time was 3 years ago.

Cleaning, decluttering, organizing, making space, repurposing, salvaging - all of these are different tasks.

[Anonymous]

You take one area of room and clean. Have three boxes;. 1. Throw away 2. Keep. 3. Not sure. Clean in 30 minutes increments. Take a break and go back. Get that area cleaned and move into next. I have a relative who was a hoarder and two of us cleaned her 12-room house this way in five days

[Anonymous]

I’d start with a pencil and paper think through a strategy before you get sucked into the mess of distractions. Think about what you want you house to be, how you want it to flow, with. Also list the things you know are packed and determine where you want them.

Determine which room you need functioning first and get that room sorted before moving on.

Always have a set of bins while you are sorting and take out the trash regurally.

[Anonymous]

All of your overflow space (attic) is filled with other people's stuff. (I can relate! My MIL did the same thing.) Ask them to come get it or offer to put it in storage for them.

Start with one room. Have a box for donations, a box for moving upstairs, a trash bag, and a recycling bag.

When it comes to sentimentality, give yourself a big box for kid's artwork or whatever you want to keep. Visualize what you want the box to look like in 10 years when the kids are gone. Do you want reams and reams of school assignments or just a few favorite pieces in there? As you chuck the excess, feel happy while you do it. Think, "aw, how cute," and have a little moment enjoying the memories. You're not getting rid of your memories or your love. You're just choosing which pieces will best represent it in a finite amount of space.

[Anonymous]

If you Kondo'ed the clothes and kitchen before, OP, start with that again. You start with what is least overwhelming.

Then do one closet, box or room at a time. Make it a priority to just donate the stuff, even if you are not organizing the rest of the stuff that is left in that closet or box. Donate and Trash. Donate and Trash. Once things start getting a little emptier, you can find a way to organize it better.

I will also advice you to put stuff up on "Trash Nothing" website. I have managed to get rid of so much random stuff that are still usable.

Greendrop is also another good idea. Or the Salvation Army.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of your overflow space (attic) is filled with other people's stuff. (I can relate! My MIL did the same thing.) Ask them to come get it or offer to put it in storage for them.

Start with one room. Have a box for donations, a box for moving upstairs, a trash bag, and a recycling bag.

When it comes to sentimentality, give yourself a big box for kid's artwork or whatever you want to keep. Visualize what you want the box to look like in 10 years when the kids are gone. Do you want reams and reams of school assignments or just a few favorite pieces in there? As you chuck the excess, feel happy while you do it. Think, "aw, how cute," and have a little moment enjoying the memories. You're not getting rid of your memories or your love. You're just choosing which pieces will best represent it in a finite amount of space.

Take pictures of art work before you throw them away. Later, it is super easy to delete the pictures. It worked for me.